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Because the ladies are so darned inquisitive, I will answer even more of their questions.
In case anyone missed part 1
http://crotchety-old-man-yells-at-cars.blogspot.com/2008/07/taking-questions-from-ladies.html
Let me get right into it.
Jenn queries: Why is it when walking past a guy, often he will start whistling a tune? Not a cat call, just start music making.
I can’t believe women don’t know the answer to this. It’s almost too easy.
That’s right. Mick Jagger. The man has dated, married, and had several children with models and supermodels. Women describe him as soulful, sexy, and who knows what else they imagine. I posted a glamour shot from years ago. We all know that today he looks even more like a troll doll. If he were a dock worker from Port Newark, even a good hearted hooker would charge him double. And don’t make me post pictures of Rod Stewart and Keith Richards.
Musicians get the babes, and Jenn, you are experiencing men who understand that.
Lauren wants to know why men would kiss women they apparently have no further interest in.
Women are cunning creatures. They plan and study, and think ahead. I’ve witnessed junior high school young ladies doodling. It will be a heart with the name of her current beau running through it. She will practice writing her name as Mrs. Guy Whistlebritches. Meanwhile, Guy is busy doodling tanks, airplanes, and weird animals. Men pretty much are simple, reactive beings. We don’t put that much thought into anything we do concerning amore.
Anok needs to know why men stash food in the unlikeliest of places.
Of course men need to hide it an unlikely place. Would my stash of chocolate be safe from the Crotchety Old Lady if I left it in the cabinet instead of…wait a minute. Was this a trick to get me to reveal where my chocolate is?
No, it’s not in my sock drawer.
Next question comes from faithful reader Sandy
Concerning Richard Simmons, Donald Trump, and Gene Simmons, what is up with their hair? Do they think their ‘do looks good?
Sandy, men have a very tenuous relationship with their hair.
When I was young, I had a full, lustrous head of hair
Today
not so much.
That is why we do everything we can just to pile it up. Style isn’t as important as its existence. We don’t care how it looks. We are just happy it’s still there.
Sandy also asks (she had a lot of good questions) why don’t more men get pedicures.
Sandy, lots of men get pedicures, but most of them already have boyfriends.
Anok (I’m starting to know her husband well) would like to know why men are such babies when they are sick.
This is a myth. Women need to know that because men are the bigger and stronger of the species, they get much more powerful illnesses.
Your little cold is nothing. The germs that affect a man have been scientifically proven to be twice the size and strength as the tiny germs that infect women.
I’ll prove it. Women generally get sick first. The germs develop and get stronger in your system. When you pass your used germs along to your man, they are now larger, and fiercer than ever.
Pamela wants to know if men are attracted to outgoing smart women, or quiet, not so smart ones?
What was the question again?
Oh yeah, ummm.
Moving on.
Lucy VP asks:
Why do men expect applause after such basic tasks like washing up?
We expect it because we deserve it. Few things make men happier than getting dirty, greasy, and smelly.
Look how happy Mike from Dirty Jobs is
Guys would spend all their lives without taking a
if it weren’t for women.So, yes, when we do something like acting civilized, we do expect accolades.
I’m sure these responses have answered all your man questions.
You’re welcome. I’m glad to be so helpful.
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