Caption Winners Announced

Very close contest this week with unusual scoring. It seems the judges really liked some captions, and for the first time, few multiple points scorers. It's almost like the judges all liked the same captions, just in different orders. The first place votes were divided between Rubba, Carrie, Matt and Jenn. Multiple points were also scored by the Hawg and Chat.



"Bottoms up!"

was submitted by Jenn.

Carrie's poem earned second place and was noted for its creativity by the judges

Matt scored third place while Rubba received the "Could he possibly come up with any more captions?" award.


Judy from http://www.morethansewso.com/ gave me the



Her blog is full of information including but not limited to sewing tips, sewing machine maintenance, and plenty of mixed bag items to keep a manly man like myself interested. The best part of entrecard is I come across some really well written blogs. This is one of them. Thanks Judy for stopping by and the award.



Official 100% True (you can look it up)
Greenland Fact of the Day
Land: 2,166,086 sq km (410,449 sq km ice-free, 1,755,637 sq km ice-covered)

http://www.humorbloggers.com/

I got nothing

I'm just too excited about the super sized contest that I'm starting tomorrow. I'm just going to give all my regulars a heads up: it involves chocolate. Good chocolate. And, of course, tomorrow will be the weekly announcement of the "Caption This" contest winner. Make sure you stop by tomorrow, as the more days you enter, the better chance that you will win a major award. Complete details will be posted. Trust me it will be easy and fun.

"It's a major award"

My humorblogger buddy the Dude http://dadthedude.blogspot.com/ (no relation to The Dude in the movie The Big Lebowski) asked me about the caption contest and wanted to know the patented scientific method I use to pick the winner.

I've explained it in the past, but for some of my new readers, I'll run it down quickly. Mrs. Crotchety, the Spawn, Rubba, and 5 of my friends (2 named Donna) from www.nedthetoothpick.com review all the captions and vote, each picking a first second and third place choice. (If Rubba enters, he doesn't vote for himself) I assign point values and then total them up. Obviously, a first place vote is worth more than a 3rd place one. Whoever has the most points wins. I don't vote at all.

And just a shout out to my buddy ettarose at : http://ettarose-edgeofsanity.blogspot.com/

They can't wait for my contest at:
http://www.humorbloggers.com/

If you haven't voted for me yet, please do. Thanks.

My typical day

Kathy from the Junk Drawer recently posted about her typical blogging day. I was exhausted just from reading about it:

http://www.junkdrawerblog.com/2008/10/my-typical-blogging-day.html

I swear, she must be Super Woman.

Anyway, I decided to look at my day, and try to figure out why I don't seem to get much done.

Here's my actual Monday to Friday schedule, and note on weekends, I do take it a little more easy.

7:00 a.m. Wake up. Put on Mike and Mike on ESPN, and switch back and forth with the news.

7:02 - 7:23 Scratch things, rub things, shift things as needed.

7:23-7:30 Breakfast (usually just some yogurt and maybe a piece of toast if the Crotchety Old Lady is on schedule.)

7:30 - 8:00 Think about going to the bathroom

8:00 - 8:30 Go to the bathroom, wash things that were previously scratched, rubbed, or shifted. Do other bathroomly things.

8:30-9:00 Watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch (Don't judge me.)

9:00 - 9:30 Watch Step by Step (Donchoo go rolling your eyes. It's not nice.)

9:30 - 10:00 Check emails. Delete most of them.

10:00 -11:00 Cookie and juice break. Have oatmeal cookie (I need the fiber) and juice.

11:00-12:00 Stare at my blog. Answer both comments. Visit Ned the toothpick.com and send cryptic messages to Rubba.

12:00-12:15 Lunch. Usually a peanut butter and tomato sandwich on whole grain (fiber, fiber, fiber) and some fruit.

12:15 to 2:00 p.m. Power nap

2:00 -2:15 Scratch, rub, and shift as needed.

2:15 - 4:00 Read blogs, drop entrecards

4:00-5:00 Watch Monk reruns

5:00 -6:00 Read some more blogs.

6:00 -6:30 Welcome Crotchety Old Lady home from her day at the office. Remind her how hard I've been working and suggest she get dinner cooking because I'm hungry.

6:30-7:00 Work really hard, while continuing to encourage her to finish making dinner as it's getting late and I want to eat soon.

7:00 -7:30 Eat dinner while watching the Simpsons. I'm a multi-tasker.

7:30 - 8:00 Poke around the internet, and drop entrecards.

8:00-11:00 Watch TV to relax. Think about tonight's post

11:00 -11:45 Watch the Daily Show, or something on TBS, or Cartoon Network.

11:45 -12:02 a.m. Write post for tomorrow, while watching Colbert or Letterman. Multi-tasking again.

12:02 -2:00 a.m. Network. This means I go to the live chat at Humorbloggers and discuss such important blogging topics as the stupid Cubs, goat tacos, and tee shirt slogans.

It's a pretty full day. I'm willing to take suggestions as to how I could be more efficient, because it is a long day and I don't seem to get much accomplished. Maybe there is something I could do better, or shift around.

And, if you haven't already, please

at http://www.humorbloggers.com/

They are always on schedule at:
http://www.humorbloggers.com/

Rubba Sunday Film Festival

Rubba recently won the Caption This, and because he's not a blogger, the prizes weren't right for him. So, as a special thank you to Rubba, I'm going to present his 3 best shorts. Think of this as a Tribeca Film Festival Event of the Absurd.

You'll see he's more than the world's best photoshopper. He's an accomplished movie maker. He's got skillz.

Rubba hates Mr. Barky Von Schnauzer. He treats him in a style befitting Quentin Tarantino. I'm pretty sure he got an Oscar nomination for this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRtq3mrWF2Q

Rubba's homage to Easy Rider

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhuLsIwGbUQ

Pretty offensive tribute to Beavis and Butthead (kind of)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6re243STXs

And don't forget to help out Deb. She needs you to sign up for her feeds.



The popcorn is hot at:
http://www.humorbloggers.com/

And, the Winners of Yesterday's Caption This Are:

I used a committee to decide composed of everyone here at Crotchety Old Man World-Wide International Headquarters and Discount House of Worship. Consider us to be



We fought and debated for hours, and finally decided...

who got to pretend to be Paula.

And now, the decision of the judges.

But first...

We thought long and hard to decide what the award should be. Then we thought about the proliferation of awards that have been circulating. They reminded us of the old lady down the street who, just like every year, has a bumper crop of a certain vegetable. And it seems like you can't pass her house without her giving you a basket of

zucchini.

So, now I present the Zucchini Award.



You don't have to pass it on to 100 of your closest friends. You don't have to link back to me. All I ask is that when you display it proudly on your mantle, just let everyone know it is a Rubba Original Creation.

If you want to pass it along, you can. If you want to throw it on the pile with all your other awards, that will be fine, too.

And the winner will have his or her name and blog link displayed in a place of honor on my sidebar until I have another contest or get tired of looking at it.

And, as soon as I figure out how to do it, I'll be passing along some serious entrecard credits to our runners up.

These results have been stored in a mayonnaise jar on my back porch since early this afternoon.

And the winners are:

#1 Blogger Bryan said...

Go ahead. I know you wanna touch it.
-----------------------------------------------------

#2 Blogger momjeansblogger said...

Things at Wal-Mart really have changed ever since Michael Jackson took over as buyer.

------------------------------------------------------

#3 Blogger Jenn Thorson said...

"Pee-wee Herman knew just the shop for the hot, rippin' wheels he needed..."


Thank you to everyone that participated.

I'm also going to give a random commentor (Drowsey Monkey) some entrecard credits.

I did notice that a theme seemed to run through Paula's choices, though. I wonder what's up with that?

Tomorrow: Ladies questions answered part 2

Humor-Blogs.com

It's Been a Big Week Already

But everyone knows I just give and give.

Oh, before I forget, tomorrow, is a "Caption This Wednesday" using another picture stolen borrowed from Rubba, and then it gets really exciting.

That's right!

A MAJOR AWARD FOR THE BEST CAPTION AS VOTED BY THE ENTIRE STAFF!

"It's... it's... it's indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July!"

No, not that award. Rubba has designed an extra special, one of a kind award to be presented to the winner of Wednesday's contest.

I like delivering blog posts fresh to your doorstop every morning. I don't prewrite them (isn't that obvious?) but I have carefully chosen every topic, which every blogger knows is half the battle.

The other 80% is the writing of it.

By the way, I do drop in little nuance jokes from time to time. I'm surprised how many of them slip by.

I got in the habit of doing things like that in college. I went to college (again) in the late 1990's where I was generally acknowledged as the oldest person on campus who wasn't a professor.
Anyway, I used to intentionally put things in my papers just to see if the professors read them.

Probably the funniest thing I ever did was in a rather scholarly paper for a history class.

While I was discussing Lincoln, I mentioned something about how much easier it would have been if the Union forces had



leading the army instead of Sherman.

I may have mentioned other important facts like the most important event of the 20th century was my birth. Oh yeah, and because Einstein died around the time I was born, I was the reincarnation of him.

The professor missed all of these gems.



Oh, I was talking about more things to come this week. You can look forward to part 2 of answers to ladies' questions about men on Friday. If you haven't submitted a question yet, you are welcome to put one in the comments section. I still have plenty from last week, but if you have a burning issue:

it would be tasteless to put a picture of a hygiene product, so I won't.

You're welcome.

And, in a few days, even more super surprises.

So keep stopping back.

It's Casual Friday

So, kick back and be prepared to go on a little trip. It’s ok if you don’t have your toothbrush with you.

First, Mr. Rubba created a special umbrella hat for Sandy at http://www.witsbitch.blogspot.com/ She should have it on her blog today.

It is so worth the trip to see it, and it only cost her 50 million Zimbabwe dollars.

Next, take a quick trip to see HRH Momjeans at http://momjeansblogger.blogspot.com/

And you can see :



Along with her victory chant. It’s pretty funny.

It’s another awards show, so you can check out some really wonderful blogs.

We’ve had the prestigious Arte y Pico Award bestowed on this blog again.



The Rules thanks to www.arteypico.blogspot.com:
Rules:
1) You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award, creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribuites to the blogger community, no matter of language.
2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Each award-winning, has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog thathas given her or him the ward itself.
4) Award-winning and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y pico”blog , so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5) To show these rules.

I was selected by Bridget, the Get Smart Gal at http://www.thegetsmartblog.com/
She features electronics, business tips, finance, marketing, and some football.

I’d like to share this award with:
Bikram at http://n95pic.blogspot.com/ He shares photos of his homeland with very nice descriptions.

Eunice, another travel photographer at http://travelerfolio.com/
Beautiful photos from her extensive travels

Bill from http://www.househubbie.blogspot.com/ He shares recipes and restaurant reviews in New Jersey.

Time Thief from http://thistimethisspace.com/. It’s always a good read, that can have well presented political ideas one day, and life advice the next.

And lastly, my friend Kate at http://onlifeasiknowit.blogspot.com/
It’s totally her fault that She started me on the blogging path nearly 5 years ago. Her blog is a mixed bag. She makes fun of celebrities, weighs in with thoughtful political debate, or just lets us take a peek at her life. She also writes a recipe blog and a pet blog, creates hand made quilts, works full time and I get exhausted just thinking about all the stuff she does.

The blog also received another award, but I’ll share that next week. Youse have been through enough for today.

I’m still taking questions for an upcoming blog providing answers directly from the Man Handbook. Just leave your questions in the comments section.

Caption This--Rubba Edition

There may be prizes

Probably not, though

Coming soon: A peek at the man's handbook

Taking Care of Business

Remember the official guard dog of the blog, my friend’s Yorkie Terrier, Pepper? He’s nearly 3 pounds of fighting fury



But it appears my buddy Rubba accidentally fed him some radioactive Puppy Chow (could happen--Stan Lee, stop reading now) and the results were dramatic.



Be careful out there.

Second point of bidness; don’t forget about the awesome Doodle Week Extravaganza. Check here http://crpitt.blogspot.com/ and here http://stickfiguregrrl.blogspot.com/ for even more awesome doodles, not like the crappy ones I drew.

Next on the agenda, be sure to check out John’s Joke of Politics blog.
http://thejokeofpolitics.blogspot.com/

No political blog could ever be 100% agenda free, but he does a very good job of presenting a factual look at the upcoming election. John uses video and news clippings to give a view of the candidates.

And for the last order of bizness

I received another award. This time it is from fellow humor blogger (is she a fellow blogger if she’s, you know, a she?)

Nevertheless, the award



comes with rules.

1) Pick 5 blogs that you would like to award this honor to.
2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Oops” blog, so everyone will know the origin of it.

So, I was awarded it from Amy at http://www.amyoops.com/

And I’d like to share it with some humor bloggers who I count on to make me laugh every day.


1. Jenn, the Thrift Shop Romantic from http://cabbages-n-kings.blogspot.com/
2. Don from It’s a Funny Thing http://humorium.blogspot.com/
3. Kathy from the Junk Drawer http://www.junkdrawerblog.com/
4. JD and Lucy from Say What http://hoeno.blogspot.com/

And in a surprise decision by the judges

5. Claire from A Little Piece of Me http://crpitt.blogspot.com/ This is a surprise because I don’t know if she considers her blog to be a humor one, but it is incredibly funny. Plus, she’s from England, so that would be considered a foreign language. Don’t believe me? Ask her the meaning of pants.


Now you need to do your part; visit them and spread the funny.