Friday, March 16, 2007

Game Shows are Getting Worse

I have always been a big fan of game shows. I watched Jeopardy back before Alex Trebeck, when Art Fleming was the host. I have a love -hate relationship with most game shows, though.

Very little middle ground with me and my game shows.

I watch the re-runs on Game Show Network along with some of the newer ones like Lingo.
Hollywood Squares, Match Game, and dozens of others are among the best TV ever. I remember visiting my Aunt Josie after school and watching Password and You Don't Say with her. It was fun and the company was as good as the games on TV.
To Tell the Truth, along with so many other game shows are buried deep in the happy memories part of my brain. But, I also have some game shows that just piss me off. I have already ranted about the Price is Right, but it seems that a huge group of awful game shows are being cranked out. While I do like Deal or No Deal, 1 vs. 100 is kind of dumb, and Identity is pretty stupid, too.
But over the last few weeks, I have watched what may be the most gawdawful game show ever.
"Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?"
I like the concept. It is kind of funny. But, to make the show work, they have to assemble the dumbest individuals who are allowed to legally walk around without adult supervision.
So far, I have seen two or three episodes and have answered every question correctly. Woohoo! Big F'ing deal. I am smarter than a 5th grader. Didn't everybody already know that?
But that is not my point. These contestants are friggin morons. I can understand having a problem with math. If one hasn't needed to find the area of a triangle since high school, it is entirely possible that the formula is forgotten. No big deal. But not to be sure of the country that is north of the USA? What friggin rock did that contestant climb out from under?
Another idiot did not know the area of a square. And he supposedly was a contractor. Please God, never let me enter a house that was built by that maroon.
Last night's episode had the contestant answering questions that were for 1st and 2nd graders, and she danced when she got them right like she just proved the theory of relativity. Have the producers trolled the hallways of a lobotomy clinic to get contestants? These mouth breathers make Wheel of Fortune players look like rocket scientists.
What bothers me most is not that these people get hung up on one question. It could happen to anyone. I'm sure if I was on TV, I may forget one of the easy answers. I may even forget my name. But these dopes couldn't answer hardly any questions. They have 3 "helps." And so far, every contestant has needed to use every one of them. And I have yet to see a contestant get any higher than 4th grade questions. To make matters even worse, the game is ridiculously slow paced. The dullards have to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out these "questions."
At first, I was afraid that maybe the contestants might read this and feel badly. But then I realized that I used some big words, so they wouldn't even understand what I wrote.
Hey contestants:
Good job!


savvy said...

High Five! (get it?

Da Old Man said...

Of course.

I know you got the "good job" part, too.