Thursday, November 20, 2008

Strange Science News

It's one of those days when I am getting over my 37th cold of the season, and I need to post, so I search The Google for something interesting. And, of course, the all powerful Google comes through.

The whole global warming issue comes to the forefront of my mind. Global warming kills off polar bears and I was wondering what could be the downside? Polar bears are vicious predators, enemy of men, penguins, and seals alike. Seals and penguins are probably rooting for global warming. They may be behind the whole thing. This photo shows the penguins aggressively doing their part.

Sure, they may be the best dressed animals in the world, but that doesn't mean they aren't quite vicious in their own rite.

Seals may look innocent, and docile, but I don't trust them.

One minute they are entertaining us,

And the next shivers they are plotting to eat your children.

So, stop global warming, and hug a polar bear.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Disclaimer: No polar bears were hugged in the making of this blog post. Crotchety Old Man World Wide Enterprises and Discount House of Worship does not recommend the hugging of any wild animal and is not responsible for such acts.


Anonymous said...

Did you have to post about polar bears when the weather has been going below 0? (or 30, or whatever freezing point is in fahrenheit). I know it can't be that much warmer where you're at 'cause I know you're not too far south from here. :-P

Hope your cold clears up quick!

A New Yorker said...

I could use some polar bear fur right now. BBBBRRRRRRRR!

Kelly Ann said...

Good, well now I know who to blame for my cold that I feel coming on, it's all your fault! lol

ReformingGeek said...

I think you've got it wrong. Scientific weirdness happens because of the dolphins. We all know that they rule world. If not them, it's the cats.

I hope you've seen Hitchhikers...

Jormengrund said...

If I come down with the cold I think I'm getting, then I'm going to have to run my antivirus program over the network I administer, because obviously I was infected by YOU! *wink*

Cheer up, if anything, you can put some nice seal-fur slippers on, cozy down on your polar bear throw rug, and enjoy some coffee!

Only thing that would make it better would be to have one or two stuffed penguins standing somewhere, but that would be just a bit TOO ridiculuos, don't you think?

Donnie said...

I'm for sending Al Gore to the Polar Ice Cap and letting him show some love to those poor little sweet, cuddly, man-eating bears. Big hug now Al!

Da Old Man said...

@ Shadow: It was around 28F here, which is maybe 1 or2C. This stupid cold won't go away. It feels like I've had it since July, but I'm probably slightly overestimating.

@ Lauren: And it seems that it turned cold so suddenly.

@ Chica: I sneezed on my keyboard. Sorry.

@ Reforming: Not all of it. I fell asleep. But the Simpsons did a show once where the dolphins took over, so I'm guessing it was a parody of that.

@ Jourman: I like the way you think. The penguins would be kind of like lawn jockeys used to be.

@ Don: Good idea. He invented the internet, so now he can invent something to save polar bears. Or just make them feel better with a nice hug.

eve cleveland said...

Hon, you can hug Polar bears but you got to ease into it. They don't git much love, gnome sayin? Look, I was in the circus and it's them seals that is the sneaky ones. Most of 'em got Naval trainin.

Unknown said...

Given your track record with wildlife there in Jersey, I can see where you'd be worried those polar bears would have to head south and-- just imagine the pile-ups on the Garden State Parkway when they arrive!

Da Old Man said...

@ Eve: I've heard that about seals. They can be quite dangerous.

@ Jenn: Oh, the OParkway would be a mess, and with my record, I'd be bumping into one of them every couple days.

Sandee said...

You worry me. Quite a bit. You really do worry me. Bwahahahahaha. Have a great day. :)

Anonymous said...

Pretty great post for being under the weather. We bow before the Almighty Goog.

Hope you are back up to full Crotchetyness soon!

Da Old Man said...

@ Sandee: I worry me sometimes, too.

@ Greg: Thanks

Anonymous said...

I'm with you all the way, Crotchety! Never trust a penguin or a seal. Don't trust polar bears, either.

Anything that enjoys cold weather that much is up to no good.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I man, that scary seal is going to haunt me in my dreams...thanks. I guess that was payback for the diabetic coma-inducing video?

Well played, my friend.

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Ewwwww that seal is gonna give me nightmares!!!

Anonymous said...

Gee Joe...I didn't get a chance to thank you for commenting. You somehow ended up in my "spam", stop that! Now if I could just remember what I was going to comment about...ummm...oh, never mind!

Da Old Man said...

@ The Hawg: You know they are up to something. Sneaky bastages.

@ Petra: We're even. :)

@ Olga: Sorry. It eats kids, not bras, though

@ Judy: I'll try not to do that again. Thanks for stopping by. If you remember, drop by again with the comment.

Anonymous said...

What have you got against seals? They are wonderful animals that provide great coats as long as you're OK with the whole clubbing to death while on an ice flow thing.

Da Old Man said...

@ Joel: I'm not anti-seal. I just understand they are vicious animals capable of mayhem.