Saturday, April 25, 2009

Happy Birthday, Shamwow Vince

A most happy birthday to everybody's favorite TV pitchman, Vince "Shamwow" Offer.

Whether he is hawking the Slap Chop, and the free Graty (just pay shipping and handling)
or even the most amazing cloth ever developed,
Vince's patter just puts us in the mood to buy.

Using time honored methods such as reminding us that we know the Germans always make good stuff, or how much we will love his nuts, Vince has become a legend in the infomercial game.
But one thing I can't figure out. If he can convince thousands of folks to buy an overpriced piece of cloth, rather than spend 20 bucks a week on paper towels (ok, who spends that much on paper towels?) and a hunk of plastic that my grandma thought was crap when it came out in the 1960's as Ronco's Veg-e-matic, how did some Florida hooker not fall under his spell? She must be Superwoman, or at least Zena the Warrior Princess.
Can't talk. Hooker's got my tongue

Oh well. Happy Birthday, anyway, Vince.


Try not to kiss any hookers.Photobucket


LL said...

Do you suppose that thing slices cake?

jana said...

Seriously... what kind of weirdo tries to kiss a hooker?

And, he's right, you know. The Germans DO make good stuff.

Janna said...

Wow, that last picture makes him look sorta like a meth addict...

Er, I mean...
SHAMwow, that last picture makes him look sorta like a meth addict.

Michelle said...

Scary looking dude!

I think I will not look again!!


Da Old Man said...

@ LL: It slices and dices it.

@ SpeakDog: I'm not sure of proper john/hooker protocol, but I'm pretty sure that isn't recommended.

@ Janna: Shamwow, it certainly does.

@ Michelle: Have a great day. Supposed to be nice and warm.

Unknown said...

You know.. his pose when holding things reminds me a a vulture!

Donnie said...

Remember that little mini Pocket Fisherman (?) that Ron Popiel sold after the Veg-O-Matic? Great stuff!
Graty!!! Graty? How did I miss Graty? That's disturbing.

Chris said...

Poor Vince. Ah well, Happy Birthday anyway.

ReformingGeek said...

It's amazing what make-up and good lighting can do. On the other hand, mug shots are not designed to be flattering....

Anonymous said...

Who doesn't love Vince's nuts... even for $1000?

Unknown said...

Some folks believe anything they see on TV -- or anything they read in the newspaper. I wonder if anyone has ever been ecstatic with an "as-seen-on-TV" product.

Anonymous said...

I don't get the whole thing actually, but maybe that's because we don't have cable or satellite.

Great photo, btw, Joe.

Squidsquirts said...

So he got his fifteen minutes of infamy? The other side of Warhol's coin.
I can't believe these things happen to people.

Judy said...

I bought a Shamwow--didn't by a Snuggie but might if Vince had been toting its virtues. By the way, the Shamwow works great actually, but I had one of those chopper thingies 35 years ago and hated the damn thing.

Me-Me King said...

Don't ya think he resembles a character right out of the Flintstones, Vince Shlomirock?

brokenteepee said...

Hmmm, maybe the publicist should get one of those slicey things for my apples and carrots. Then maybe there wouldn't be as much blood on my goat treat. She is not so good with a knife....

But I suppose the shamwow would clean up all that blood, wouldn't it. Hmmm, again.

Da Old Man said...

@ Dizz: You're right.

@ Don: Are you still grating your cheese like a caveman? You need one.

@ Chris: He forgot the saying, "Never lick a gift whore in the mouth" or something like that.

@ Reforming: Some funny mug shots have appeared over the years. Nick Nolte comes to mind.

@ Tiggy: I'd need more than $1000.

@ Sherry: So, I shouldn't buy that Big City Slider pan?

@ Unfinished: I couldn't live without it

@ Husband's Anonymous: True

@ Judemiller: Is it better than any shammy?

@ Me-Me: Perfect call

@ Pricilla: It would make really small pieces, though. Turn it into Goat Veggie Kibble.

The Hawg! said...

You know, I've not seen any of his commercials since that hooker got his tongue. Could this be the end of Vince's career?

Paul Eilers said...

I'm not familiar with the hooker story.

But I do think these infomercial pitchmen and women are entertaining.

For about a minute.

Then I turn it back to ESPN.


Eat Well. Live Well.

Turner said...

You know.. his pose when holding things reminds me a a vulture!

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