Sunday, November 02, 2008

Crotchety Haiku

Getting in touch with my inner poet

They keep the funny

At Humorbloggers dot com

Laughing is good

OK, wth is the deal with haiku? It's just the work of damn lazy poets. I've never read or written a haiku that didn't suck. Nothing rhymes, nothing cool about it. 5 syllables, then 7, then 5?

Is it poetry or is it math? The person reading it has to do all the damn work. What was the "poet" thinking? What did he mean?

Give me some Joyce Kilmer. He wrote about friggin trees. The poem was called Trees. It was about trees. He mentioned trees a bunch of times. It was said he sat under a tree when he wrote it.

I grew up on Joyce Kilmer Avenue, so I know more about him than most people and even went a few times to see the tree he sat under to write the poem. Hey, you probably didn't even know Joyce was a dude.

Now, e.e. cummings, that guy could write a poem. It may not have rhymed but he put some effort into it. Imagery, words. Ferlinghetti, one of the Beat Generation poets, showed creativity.

But the Japanese just miniaturized everything, even poems. We need to Americanize haiku. Make it better. Supersize it.

Forget the 5-7-5 rules.

Free wheel it. Make it friggin rhyme, and put at least 20 or 30 words per stanza.

Bunch of stanzas. Make it so I understand wth is going on.

Thanks for stopping by
It makes me so darn happy
When you read this blog

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Greenland Fact of the Day
Population ethnicity: Greenlander 88%
That was pretty obvious


Kelly Ann said...

I agree, I hate haiku's! Poe impresses me the most, and really the only poet I remember. :)

Adullamite said...

Here I am lying
Dying of thirst
Send a food parcel
Put the Guinness in first.


Chat Blanc said...

yeah, super size it! :D

btw, I love e.e. cummings!!

A New Yorker said...

I like crotchety
He awarded me sweet stuff
Where is my candy

Donnie said...

Oh brother, there goes the neighborhood. No more sonnets or Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade? Japs are just small everywhere. Smart but little...

Anonymous said...

Haiku can be cute,
The first few times it is seen,
But quickly grows old.

I think Haiku can be a fun (mini)mental exercise... when you're totally burnt out and there's no more wine in the bottle.

Lord, I want to be whole said...

I believe in the KISS principle

love your blog! :D

Da Old Man said...

@ Chica: Never read a haiku that I liked. Poe Rocks.

@ Adullamite: A fine bit of poetry

@ Chat: He was awesome. And pretty crazy as he committed suicide. I like a poet who follows through with crazy like that.

@ Lauren: Ok, that one didn't suck. Candy should be there this week

@ Don: Pretty soon, they will outsource haikus to China. They will still suck, but will be available at WalMart for under a dollar, and be lead based.

@ Shadow: That explains it. No wine.

@ Lord, I want to be whole: Thanks.
Simple can be good.

eve cleveland said...

Old Man!
I flove this post so much that I am gone google HiKoo jist too see what in the hell has got you so damn ornry.
Then, I am gone write some fer you and read it to you while you tryin to watch Wheel. You make me so happy!

Da Old Man said...

@ Eve: They are pretty bad, you know. Wheelku may be interesting, though.

Kirsten said...

Love me a haiku
They always give me a smile
Good ones are beauti

I didn't say I was good at them.

Shawie said...

oh yeah, I didn't know that Joyce Kilmer is a guy? hmmm...

Da Old Man said...

@ Kirsten: It's as good as any I've ever read

@ Shawie: Was a Sgt. in the US Army in WWI. Was born down the street from where I lived.

Anonymous said...

Crochety Old Man
Yells very loudly at cars
Christine runs him down.

Ack. You're right, too much work!

You are funny man
I will be back to read more
I enjoy laughing.

Ok, stop me now...this Haiku MADNESS!