Thursday, July 24, 2008

Rain, Rain, Go Away

I can hear the rumbling of thunder in the background. It has been raining off and on all day, and flooding is expected tonight.

For all of my life, I never was concerned about this. But thanks to the internet, I’m now very “weather aware” and this is not a good thing.
I was much better off when I was in my mental bubble.

Why the turnaround? Simple, I have friends all over the world. Normally, this would be a good thing.

But now, I can track weather patterns. Rubba lives somewhere west. And Jenn from Cabbages and Kings lives west of me, but not as west as Rubba.

So, when flooding hits Rubba’s state

Rubba escaping to safety in the Swanborghini

I know what’s in store for Jenn a few hours later, and then ultimately, for me, a few hours after that.

So, you can see where this is heading.

That’s right, gentle reader, I am being subjected to used rain.

The same rain that launched the Swanborghini, and nearly ruined a scround (it’s a real word, you can look it up) of peach ice cream

then has the chutzpah to dampen my spirits.

But my regular readers know how much I care for them.

In the next week or so, I will be launching a complete line of umbrella hats.

My buddy Rubba has been working feverishly to help me put the online catalog together, and I’ll give you just a peek at some of the hats using some of his designs and stolen stock photos :

The Lo Mein

The Rogue

When you just want to blend in
The Rambo

The It Girl

I’m not sure of our pricing schedule yet, but for 50 million Zimbabwe dollars, Rubba would photoshop a hat on your head if he likes you.

He‘ll do it for free if he doesn‘t.

And the winner of yesterday’s “Caption This” was HRHMomjean. She was so determined to win the non prize that she enlisted the aid of minions to threaten encourage me to select her caption.

It was very funny and she deserved to win, even without the help of her friends. By the way, her blog is The Soccer Mom’s File

It’s a good read.

I did promise yesterday, that I will reveal secrets from the "Man's handbook." Post your questions, and they will be addressed in a future post.

Coming soon: Awards and other stuff


Anonymous said...

Love the rain hats/umbrellas thingys. My question for the Man handbook is : what the frig is in the remote control that makes it permanently stuck to my husbands hand ?

Da Old Man said...

@ Dani: A fine question. It is listed in the Man's Handbook, and will probably be one of the secrets revealed.

Kirsten said...

Yes, yes! In your face, losers!!! I won. I'm better than all of you! It's been brought, bitches!!!

Oooops! I forgot to use the royal "we"

HRH Momjeans

PS-Still waiting for my millions. Left a message for the guy. He must be busy.

PPS-I hope you all brought your lunch boxes, 'cause I'm about to take you to school if da old man has another contest!!

TheFLy said...

Damn, I thought I had it in the bag with my Mr. Bubble comment, haha. Oh yeah, I brought you a snack lunch to munch on next time mommaJay. The education is about to rain down on ya, haha. Wait, what was the prize again.

buzz buzz

shyne said...

Rainhats....will there be a ninja creation??????? :-)

My question for the Man's Handbook:
Does a real man carry a Man Bag and, if yes, what should he put into it?

Congrats, Momjean.....well done!

Unknown said...

Ah-- will you expand the line to have a more parasol-styled hat?

I think there might be a market with the neo-Victorian/Goth market as well as Haute Couture designers.

Congrats to MomJeansBlogger on her win, who seems to be taking the win with style, grace and dignity.

Also end-zone dances.

Rubba said...

momjeansblogger said...
PS-Still waiting for my millions. Left a message for the guy. He must be busy.

Get in line. . .
He already owes me a percentage of 480 Million (in the neighborhood of 75% or something like that) and a sweet orthopedic shoe (left). . .:-)

Da Old Man said...

@ HRHMomjeans: You know how busy those guys get. It is gracious of you to extend him the courtesy of waiting for him to bestow your millions and the crown jewels.

@ The Fly: Momjeans is the winner of a nonprize. But as she is royalty, anything else would have been insulting anyway.

@ Shyne: Your question will be taken under consideration, and may be included in the future "Man's Handbook Revealed" post.

@ Jenn: while few things are more fashionable than the classic umbrella hat, I will speak with my head designer, Mr Rubba (he is now Mr Rubba, to make our fashion house more Haute Couture. As manly men, we are not sure what Haute Couture means, but decided we need plenty of it.)

@ Rubba: Different source of the millions owed. HRHMomjeans money comes from the royal lineage she recently purchased online, while yours will come from profits from the umbrella hat store.
The orthopedic left shoe will be shipped as soon as I find it. I forgot where I put it. Thank you for your patience in waiting for it.

Chat Blanc said...

ohhhhh, I'd love a rubber ducky themed umbrella hat! Pretty please!

My man handbook question is--why don't more men get pedicures?

Da Old Man said...

@ Sandy: That is covered in the handbook. I will reveal that in the post.

GetSmartGal said...

Umbrella hats as crazy as they sound and look I am sure somehow it will be a million dollar industry, like those little umbrellas they put in drinks.

My question for the Man Handbook is: How do men really feel about chicks who know as much or more about sports then they do?

Da Old Man said...

@ Getsmartgal: Good question. I had to look that up myself in the handbook because I personally have never witnessed it. But it's on the agenda for the future post.

A New Yorker said...

Yeah and you sent that damn used rain to me next. LIGHTING like I never experienced before. All I had to do was cross the street but I was scared outta my mind. So many metal cars near me and one, two, three, four strikes over and over and over. OMG! Next time you can keep the storm ok!?

Da Old Man said...

@ lauren: Sorry about that. Wait a minute, you're only a short distance from me. Are you positive I didn't get your used rain?
I need to check with Mike Woods on channel 5.

Fold My Laundry Please said...

I live near the coast in Oregon, so all of my rain is fresh! It's like the farmer's market of precipitation over here! None of that trucked in crap for me!

Anonymous said...

Umbrella hats and midget porn....I've seen everything.


Da Old Man said...

@ Fold my laundry: I'm so jealous.

@ Tony: And all in one handy picture