Thursday, July 10, 2008

Getting to Know You

I’ve noticed several blogs where the authors have been answering questions about themselves. Some are in response to real questions, and some are in anticipation of questions.

Since I haven’t had an original thought since the early 1990’s, I thought I’d just follow along. Yup, if all my friends jumped off a bridge, I’d do it, too. I’m a freakin’ lemming.

So I’m about to answer that burning question that I am sure my gentle readers have. But first, if you have a burning sensation, may I suggest:

On to the big question: What do I do all day?

I sit on the couch watching Comedy Central and either read blogs (about 50 or more per day) write blogs, and visit 3 other chatboards. I was tested a few years ago, and I read between 1500 and 2000 words per minute, depending on content, so I really do get to a lot of blogs.

And I talk to telemarketers. Oh yeah, you know all those telephone survey results that you read about, and you always wonder, “Exactly who gives all those stupid answers? What type of idiot do they interview? Who even has time for all that nonsense? Do they interview socially maladjusted shut-ins?”

Guess who always takes those calls?


My absolute favorite thing to do is to have a telemarketer just give up.

I’ve done that a few times.

Here’s what works to really mess with a telemarketer’s head: agree to everything. At some point, the telemarketer will ask for money. This is where you try to borrow it from him. Convince the telemarketer that the deal sounds so great to you, and you are ready to move, if he could only spot you the cash.


Lastly, Doodle Week is coming. I have a badge for it over on the side.

More information is available here:

But here’s my dilemma

Not only do I want to participate in the biggest Doodle event in the history of the blogosphere , but I, sadly, have no talent.

I have created 2 incredibly mediocre stick figure doodles. They pretty much suck. Any ideas on how to make them, I don’t know, not suck so much?

Sucky drawing #1

Sucky drawing #2

Advice welcome.

Coming soon: Someone very special is having a birthday. Be prepared for a huge party right here. Try to guess whose birthday it will be.



MYM said...

Re the stick figures, adding an extra stick might jazz it up a bit ;)

Thanks for the powder, I'll be sure to pass that on to Monkey.

I feel like we really know each other now.

Da Old Man said...

@ Drowsey: Hmm. I'll have to devote some time tomorrow to try that. Thanks. And the Monkey should really like the powder.

Anonymous said...

Dude, those are SO not horrible stick figures. They're, like, TRUE stick figures! I love it! Totally captures the whole crotchety old man yelling at cars type theme. ;-P

shyne said...

Love your approach to telemarketers! Especially the part about asking them to spot you the cash.
That has to stop them in their tracks and leave them speechless.

Your doodles.....:-)

crpitt said...

Hey they are delightfully sticky stick men.

What are you using to draw them?

Da Old Man said...

@ Shadow: Thanks. I think they are just a bit cheesy

@ Shyne: It is fun getting a telemarketer to try to think on their feet. I like torturing them almost as much as hospital staff.

@ Claire: I used something on my computer that said paint.

Unknown said...

I think you've set the bar too high for your stick figures, Joe-- they're stick figures-- they've accomplished what they set out to do. No need to make them overachieve. :)

That said, maybe they could look happier. His eyebrow is angry, I think.

crpitt said...

I use paint when I am doing the online ones, practice practice :)

When I have doodled something, I then upload them to and add speech bubbles and other bits.

Here is the link Picnik.

Also I just found This dude. I think you will like his stuff.

Also How to draw Cartoons

Hope they help, if I find any more or you get some good tips let me know :)

crpitt said...

Found some more, I am going to add them to the Doodle Week blog in the sidebar under 'Doodle Tools'

Da Old Man said...

@ Jenn: They should be crotchety. I'm expressing myself through the medium of stickfigurey.

@ Claire: Thanks. Time is short. I need to get them ready for next week.

crpitt said...

I normally do mine on the day, remember to have fun with it :)

Oh thought you would like to laugh at one of my first 'paint' doodles.

My first online doodle

Da Old Man said...

@ Claire; That's hysterical. :)

Day of? I've been stressing for weeks. These stick figures should be labeled Crotchety 12.0 and Crotchety 17.0.
Scary, huh?

Chelle Blögger said...

Awww! You were an adorable little boy, when do we get to see what an adorable old man you've become?

Da Old Man said...

@ Offended: I've become quite frightening. My hobby is putting on the umbrella hat and scaring neighborhood kids. The one posted today is my last good picture.

Chelle Blögger said...

I don't believe it for a minute.

I bet you grew into a handsome teenage heartthrob, then into an even handomer manly man and now you are so damned good looking that the Old Lady refuses to let you post photos for fear that one of us will come and steal you away from her! ;)

Chat Blanc said...

I was concerned that stick figure #1 had a unibrow, a very angry unibrow.

Da Old Man said...

@ Offended: Steal? Most days she'd be willing to swap me for last week's tacos.

@ Sandy: Yeah, I was trying to get the anger across, but wound up with a uni. :(

Matt said...

asking to borrow money...genius.
I generally just push mute and listen to how long until they just hang up.

Helen said...

Hey, well, you could use a different colour - maybe repeat them in lots of different colours!
Stick people rock - it worked for Lowry, why not for the rest of us??

Skye B said...

Da Old Man,
Okay, I have some last week's Tacos I am willing to trade....and I am looking! ;)

Greg said...

"They could look happier"!!! OMG, isn't she the sweetest thing?!

They're stick curmudgeons, and perfect just as they are, Joe!

Da Old Man said...

@ Hypocritical One: It is pretty funny when they hang up on me.

@ Bimmy: Thanks. Stick people in black ink is just so classic.

@ Skye: LOL

@ Greg: Thanks. I have a week to work on increasing the curmudgeon factor.

Kelly Ann said...

Oh goodness, those are hilarious stick men. I admire your effort, and I do think you made them "angry" on purpose, so ya hit it spot on. Could add another stick like Drowsey said, but like TSR..they are only stick figures. :)

Have you seen what Tom Mabe does with telemarketers? that man is king, my favorite is when he makes the telemarketer think he's just called a crime scene. roflmao.

Kelly Ann said...

My bad I meant Jenn not TSR. My apologies. :)

Anonymous said...

You draw better stick people than I do LOL

Glad monkey likes the powder

Da Old Man said...

@ Chica: Thanks. I'm going to look for Tom Mabe. Jim Florentine is awesome.

@ Wendy: How could she not like the powder? Monkey butt is a serious disease.

crpitt said...

Its not scary it just adds to the excitement :)

I think up ideas, but never draw anything till the day, but this time I might do some over the weekend so I am a bit more prepared :)

bchbear said...

OH OH, pick me, I know who's birthday it is.

Kelly Ann said...

If you want to know just how funny Tom Mabe is watch this first: You'll laugh your rear off, I know I did the first, second, and third time I watched it. :D

Anonymous said...

Its vague , its true. Bloggers love to answer themself.

Da Old Man said...

@ BchBear: I know, it's like Christmas for you.

@ Chica: Will do

@ Play free: Yeah, I have extra voices in my head, I think. I can't speak for all bloggers, though. :)