Saturday, November 01, 2008

The Birthday Offensive

I rarely write offensive posts, but today I am writing one in honor of the Cabal Leader because today, believe it or not, is Chelle's birthday.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking: Today, All Saint's Day, one of the holiest of holy days, is also Chelle's birthday. Doesn't seem possible. Photobucket Maybe if she was born on the day of Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, the original Offended Bloggers, well, that's logical. But All Saint's Day? Photobucket

Anyway, I decided to find out more about her. It seems she is sort of an "International Woman of Mystery."

OK, more an Idaho Woman of Mystery. Photobucket

After checking several sources, I found out her real name is, are you ready, and don't tell her I told you, Michelle. I swear. Chelle, it seems, is just her nom d'plume, which is a fancy French way of saying "name to use when in a bunker during Armageddon."

Speaking of this, she is fully prepared for any sort of apocolyptic showdown with Jihadists in her sporty yet practical


Limited Collectors Edition Hello Kitty Tank
And Chelle has prepared for the post apocolyptic world as she has invested heavily in the new currency


And she plans to survive the nuclear holocaust in her bunker dining on

While you were doing things like Photobucket or Photobucket

Our Ms. Chelle has put been busy putting together a group of humor bloggers because in the post apocolyptic world, survivors will need the funny.

The funny, and, of course, Greenland.

Happy Birthday, Chelle.

If you have a chance, be sure to stop by her blog or

to wish her a happy birthday. Photobucket

Official 100% True (you can look it up)
Greenland Fact of the Day
Attention ladies:
0-14 years: 23.5% (male 6,867/female 6,634)
15-64 years: 69.9% (male 21,683/female 18,575)

Disclaimer: This post wasn't very offensive, unless of course you are a jihdist planning the apocolypse


The Hussy Housewife said...

Very tank..awesome! What a guy you are!!

A New Yorker said...

My sister in law's birthday is Halloween. HAHAHA! Maybe we can send her the tank. :-)

Chelle Blögger said...

This is the best birthday present post EVER!!!!!!

And there are more men than women in Greenland?? WTF?!! You would think me and my awesomely offensive cleavage would be famous there by now. :*(

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post. It has been too long since I visited the Offended Blogger and this reminder was just what I needed to get me over there again. It is a good one.

Chat Blanc said...

Woot for Chelle! That Hello Kitty tank rawks! :D

Da Old Man said...

@ Hussy: I really liked the tank, too. Chelle has all the best stuff

@ Lauren: LOL

@ Offended: I'm glad you liked it.

@ Will: I'm sure she'll appreciate you stopping by

@ Chat: It's just so Chelle. :)

Anonymous said...

Does it come in aubergine? Sorry I didn't acknowledge your "thank you", but you ended up in my SPAM! Go figure! OH! and your more than welcome!

Da Old Man said...

@ Judy: You do realize I'm a guy? I had to google aubergine. I thought it was a city in France. Turns out it's a color. :)

TheFLy said...

Awww, thats so nice Old Man. You know those paradoxes those scientist always talk about, maybe they mean Chelle's birthday on All Saints Day, just a thought, haha.

Donnie said...

Nice Joe! Good job. Chelle needs all of the good wishes she can handle trying to control all of we say "down" South, "Bless her heart."

Anonymous said...

I've found you far more offensive on other occasions but..whatever.

And btw - aubergine is an eggplant. The paint people stole the name to use for purple.


eve cleveland said...

Old Man...
I done wasted days tryin to figure out what Chelle's real name could be..How did you ever git this information? You so dang smart.

Da Old Man said...

@ The FLy: total paradox. She should be studied

@ Don: Yeah, we are kind of a full time job for her.

@ Gerald: Thanks. I'm never really offensive.

@ Eve: I plied it from her using vodka and ninja mind tricks. Mostly vodka.

Kirsten said...

Happy birthday, Chelle!
Thanks for the Greenland info! I love to keep up on my fan!

Da Old Man said...

@ Kirsten: And he appreciates it, I'm sure