Sunday, January 11, 2009

Wrapping up the week

Just like yesterday's garbage gets wrapped up and tossed away, last week should be over and done with. But the bank follow up is pretty interesting. I called first thing Saturday morning, and after pushing a couple buttons, listening to a few phone menus, finally, a customer barely service agent was reached.

Yes, bank policy is to freeze all my assets until I call and talk to a representative. Apparently, it is legal to freeze thousands in assets because I owed them 15 dollars.

Madoff bilks banks and others out of untold millions (billions?) and how many others default on millions, and yet, I am past due $15 and they are all over me. Bastages. I paid them off (it was only about $100 in total) and requested my fees be reversed, with me being a good customer and all. I need to call back again, because the Saturday customer barely service person doesn't have that kind of clout. Banks suck.

And while I'm complaining about thieves, I bought the Crotchety Old Lady a camera for Christmas. She used it for a month, and now it needs batteries. Ok, no biggie. What do you think batteries cost for that thing?

$30. For batteries that last a few weeks. I had her get the rechargeable ones instead, but holy crap. A Die Hard battery that will start a Buick in 0 degree weather (that's crazy cold temperature for our Celsius standard temperature readers) is only about double that. As soon as the batteries show up, she promised to take a picture of my kidney stone so it can be posted. It's worth the wait.

Saturday morning I borrowed a page from
Dead Rooster's sure fire method for seducing women.

I prepared the Crotchety Old Lady a nice breakfast, and washed the dishes. I made her an omelet with onions and home fries with Yukon Gold potatoes. And not a piece of poop related paraphenalia was exchanged.

The result?


She now believes that either
A. She's got some incurable illness and has days to live
B. I'm up to something nefarious

As I type, she is outside in the cold and dark, shoveling the snow. She has washed and ironed my underwear (which is nice, admittedly.) She is trying to prove to herself and me that she is as healthy as ever.

What a moral dilemma I have. Should I simply tell her the truth and let her read the blog post that encouraged me, or wait until she paints the shed?


Paul Eilers said...

I would definitely wait until she has painted the shed.

Can't wait to see that kidney stone pic! Yup.

Chunks of Reality said...

When you call the bank back tell them that they owe you money for having to call again to get your fees back because they didn't adequately train their guy. Sheesh!

I am very interested in the kidney stone. Never seen one and I'm curious.

Your wife irons your underwear? I have heard of this before and am curious if it makes any difference in the wear. Does it feel any different?

Daughter said...

I would see if you could get her to color coordinate your sock drawer too...

ReformingGeek said...

You are on to something. I see a scheme to make Crotchety rich. She shovels snow and irons underwear. Wow! Send her to me. I'll pay her expenses and we can negotiate the rest. But please warn her it's not snow that she will be shoveling.

Kevenj said...

Always hold out until the shed's painted and supper's in the oven.

You might want to make sure she stocked up the beer from her last trip to the store.

PS. It's not banks Crotch, it's who owns them-the Federal Reserve, a truly remarkable bunch of highly imaginative slimballs.

Michelle said...

Yes she must paint the shed among other things!!! Just have her work all day long, making sure she whistles whilst doing it all with a smile on her face!!!

Yes, thats the ticket old man!!!

Anonymous said...

Poor Crotchety Old Lady: methinks, she is shoveling something besides snow out there. You better be careful: it might be a six-foot hole ;).

Da Old Man said...

@ Paul: I really want the shed painted, so I'm holding out. The stone is worth the wait

@ Chunks: I'll yell a lot, and they will come through, I'm sure.

@ Daughter: I only wear white socks, so they are pre-coordinated

@ Reforming: I don't want to have her work too much. She's no spring chicken.

@ Kevin: She'll take care of everything first. And keeping the fridge stocked, well she knows that's a primary duty.

@ Michelle: I've explained to her many times how muchhappier she will be if she keeps doing everything with joy.

@ Unfinished: She'd miss me, so I feel safe.

Chat Blanc said...

after the week you've had, I'd let her do all she can for ya and if she gets mad, just send her after those evil bankers! ;)

Patricia Rockwell said...

It's quite obvious that you don't cook for her often enough and it's the shock of it that has her flustered. Solve this by cooking and doing other nice things on a regular basis. No, she didn't pay me to write this.

Donnie said...

Sorry that you're still (steal ?) dealing with the lousy bank. I hate them too.
Get the mrs. to take a picture of the battery along with your kidney stone. I want to see what a $30 camera battery looks like...

Anonymous said...

Apparently I am a "theif" too.. I am trying to duck out of a 60.73 hospital bill.. beotch from the hospital read me the riot act.. about a bill from when I brough in Saskatchewan for an xray in August.. wow.. wouldn't ya know.. they were mailing a bill to an address, we haven't been at in a year.. hospitals..kidneys..xrays..whats the difference.

Anonymous said...

That would have had more impact if it read right.. an address we haven't been at in 13 YEARS

Anonymous said...

Does she read your blog? Hope not...

Unknown said...

Make her some salsa. That will make everything right. You'll see.

A New Yorker said...

I don't know what you should do but I sure am learning what I should do when I find my guy!

Da Old Man said...

@ Chat: true

@ Patricia: I have to think about that

@ Don: It looks like 2 AAA batteries duct taped together

@ Susie: 13 years? Holy cow.

@ Broadway: Not every day (I hope)

@ Etta: Sounds good to me

@ Lauren: I'm glad to help

Marvel Goose said...

You are right, Patricia. I'm in charge of the kitchen at our home so my wife knows that nothing is up but love if I bring her the coffee and paper to read in bed on Saturday mornings.

We don't have long on this earth. Why not be good to each other?

Unknown said...

Awwwwww :)

Chelle Blögger said...

I'd wait for her to paint the shed and repave the driveway. Then I still wouldn't tell her. :)

Da Old Man said...

@ Marvel: True

@ Dani: It was a good reminder

@ Offended: I do like that idea, too. The drive is in need of repair

Anonymous said...

Have her paint the shed first -- we're not crazy here, are we? Wait, on second thought, don't answer that.