Friday, December 19, 2008

Prizes awarded; Bonus rant

First, the rant.
The Google should attach a warning with blogs. One suggestion: "This blog is so covered with freakin ads and stupid widgets that no one cares about, that if one should even consider opening said blog, expect it to take seemingly forever to load, and once loaded, be treated to, at best, some poorly constructed paragraph or two passing as information. This information, again, best case scenario, is trite. At worst, eyes will bleed and possibility of brain hemorraghing is real and The Google will accept no responsibilty as you have been warned, dumbass."

That would be really nice. And as an addendum, after being thoroughly annoyed by some stupid blog experience as I just had, where I got so tired of waiting for a page to load that I began to rant, what do you think are the chances I wanted to spend any time on the page looking at the many stupid freakin ads that took so long to load? Most successful retailers have found it best to not piss off the customer before they get in the door.

I get it, I really do. People need to make money. Some need it to pay for their domain, some for their ISP, heck, I'm sure some need it to put food on the table. But if anyone wants to use the 'net to make money, then darn it, how about learning how to set up your page so it loads in less than 3-5 minutes? If you are recycling crap articles, just to post something, you don't need a Digg icon slowing down your page. You don't need that dancing imbecile, or maps of the world, or even widgets showing your page rank, Technorati rank, or Alexa, or any other thing no one cares about except you. If I cared, I could find out in about 30 seconds.

The newest thing? Besides that freakin K Mart banner? The big "Page sponsored by" crap over your page. It annoys the heck out of me, but at least it's easy enough to click and make it go away. But it is one more thing to slow down your page, one more thing to drive away traffic. Maybe the guru of the month says that is the way to make money. I'm not sure as I barely make pizza money with my blog, but I'm not in it for the money. If you are trying to make the big bucks, good on ya. I hope you make millions. But try to do it without annoying the crap out of me, m'kay?

Now on to the important business of caption winners.

This week's truly captured the spirit of the Holiday season. The staff at Crotchety Old Man World Wide Headquarters and Discount House of Worship were hard pressed to pick a winner. They were that good. The Spawn is out filming in her big Bollywood debut, so I had to call in extra help to break a 6 way tie.

Confused about the placement of his hat, Santa is experiencing a slight wardrobe malfunction

By Reforming Geek.


Second place went to Shadow, while 3rd was Janna

6 captioneers did get first place votes including, obviously, Reforming geek, Shadow and Janna, along with Jenn, Lauren, and Don. Multiple votes were also received by Jorman, Chat, Adullamite, Angie, Heather, Chica, Claire, MA, Gumby and Freetheunicorns.

Have a Merry Christmas


Kirsten said...

Congrats, reforming geek!!!
That was a tough one!

2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

I agree with Kirsten that was a tough one!

I have to agree I get bored with sites that take forever to load.

Adullamite said...

Good rant!
Nice to see you have not lost your touch.

Michelle said...

HAHA love that photo!!

Great caption too!!!

Have a great day old man!! Old woman too!!!!

shyne said...

Congratulations to the winners.
There's some good humor here!

Great rant!
I'll usually give a page one minute to load (two, if it appears to be interesting) before hitting the back button. I thought it was just me who gets impatient.

ReformingGeek said...

Yippee and a roaring Yee-Haw! Thank you so much.

Also, that was a great rant. My thoughts exactly!

Chat Blanc said...

You go Crotchety! woohoo!

Congrats to reforming geek. excellent caption! :)

ReformingGeek said...

BTW, My give-away is still open on my blog. I have rum balls available. (I was told my post wasn't clear about that). So if you want them, check it out and let me know!

Unknown said...

That was a really great caption! Go Reforming Geek!!

Donnie said...

That's it Joe. Let it all out. Now breathe deeply...Lol! Funny as hell!

Sandee said...

Yikes, this is indeed a rant. Going to go clean out my side bar right now. Oh wait. You can't be talking about me.

I love the Santa photograph. See was the evil drink will make one do? Bwahahahaahha.

Have a terrific day. :)

Vylat said...

So true old guy. Hope mine wasn't one of those sites that took 3-5 mins. to open. I'm experiencing computer problems lately and trying to fix.
Have a very Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THAT SANTA picture..sorry, it's my warped humor after watching Bad Santa..

Bad Ad's, we see 'em on the street's and we see 'em on the blogs - take a poll.. do you click on peoples advertisement or dumb widgets..

Da Old Man said...

@ Kirsten: One of the toughest yet

@ Heather: If it takes too long, I won't even read it.

@ Adullamite: Thanks. It was hard to keep it PG

@ Michelle: Thanks, you too.

@ Shyne: I have high speed, so two minutes is ridiculous. Do they even undeestand that others just leave? Maybe they only see the hit counter.

@ Reforming: I checked and you don't have entrecard, so you just get the adulation and zucchini.

@ Chat: It was a great caption. Chat, believe me, it took a while to take all the f bombs out of my original rant.

@ I am so there. I was there yesterday, and will be back today.

@ Jenn: It was.

@ Don: That is a mellowed version of the original

@ Sandee: You know it wasn't you. LOL. Have a terrific day, too.

@ Plant Buddy: No, your's is fine. And one of my favorite sites to visit.

@ Susie: They are just overwhelming.

Anonymous said...

is that santa wearing a cup?

This Brazen Teacher said...

Thank you for posting that rant! I bitch in my own head about that all the time.

Da Old Man said...

@ Unfortunate: LOL

@ Brazen: It has been getting me cranky lately.

A New Yorker said...

That caption deserved to win. But I hope mine made you giggle.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what is it with the stupid k-mart ad - that's the one that comes across the bottom of the blog with someone's picture, right? I know some folks are trying to earn a living with paid posts and ads but guess what - I skip them. I remember their names and I don't click on them. Okay, maybe that makes me a bad person but no one is perfect.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

Chidcha said...

Good rant!
Have a great day old man!! fight!!

Janna said...

3rd place?
I got 3rd place?

*sigh* ok. Can I print this out and take it to McDonalds and exchange it for a grilled chicken club sandwich with no mayo?

I have a craving.