Sunday, December 28, 2008

What's irritating me today?

I've been complaining a lot lately. It's probably the season--too much year end happiness is interfering with my crankiness. But celebrities are the most annoying people on the planet.

Anyway, Tom Cruise is in a new movie, and he has been hitting all the talk shows, and it's getting a lot of buzz.

It sounds like a pretty good film, and more than once, I've heard Tom referred to as a hero for undertaking this role. A friggin hero? He will make, according to what I found on the Google, somewhere between 30 and 60 million dollars to dress up and pretend he is someone else. That is what makes someone a hero today? For that matter, if Tom Cruise is a hero, then a mime must be a superhero. After all, a mime dresses up and pretends he is in a box, which is way harder.

The next celebrity that is starting to annoy me could probably qualify as a two-fer. A-Rod and Madonna. Not sure which of these dunderheads annoy me more. A-Rod is a young, extremely rich, and apparently good looking athlete. He plays for one of the most famous teams in the world. And he can't do better than a haggy, thrice divorced, trampy 50 something year old? Not to be sexist, but come on, A-Rod, it's not cool to date your high school crush when you're 35. And, to say I'm sick of Madonna already would be the understatement of the year. Toots, you're in your 50's, with a bunch of kids, plus at least one you picked up as a souvenir when you went to Africa, how about settling down? And what the heck is wrong with fans who look up to these chowderheads?

And lastly, celebrity parents are getting on my last nerve. Is Billy Ray Cyrus a dad or Miley's pimp/press agent? It's kind of hard to tell. Pretty much the same deal with the Spears's parental units. You really want to help your kids? Get the damn cameras out of the house. No one needs to see you making Britney cheese grits, you loon.

Finally, what is the deal with hospitals advertising on TV and radio? Who doesn't choose the same hospital as everyone else? It's called "The Closest." I think I'm having a heart attack, or I get hit by a bus, I'm not thinking about which hospital has the best commercial jingle or whatever. And then hospitals complain about losing money. Does this make sense to anyone?

See you tomorrow. I think I need to get my Xanex script refilled.


The Hussy Housewife said...

Amen. I couldn't agree more. Does that mean I should also have a prescription for Xanax?

Da Old Man said...

@ Hussy: It couldn't hurt.

Anonymous said...

At least you're living up to your moniker. Plus if you're going to complain, those are some pretty good things and people about which to complain. I agree: I don't think TC is a hero. Now L. Ron, there was a real hero! ;)

Lola said...

Besides being old and haggy, Madonna doesn't seem like she'd be the best wife material. Don't you just get that she must be very demanding in certain departments? (Trying very hard to be pg rated here.) And she doesn't seem like she'd be very domestic. Can't imagine seeing her making pancakes for the kiddies on Sunday morning, can you?

Charmaine said...

I've been out of work for a couple of months. I don't usually watch TV. I don't even have cable.

I am floored by the commercials advising me of all the different cancers I will get and which hospital I should go to. ahhhhh

Adullamite said...

Tom Cruise failing to look like an officer again? How unusual! The mad Madonna in yet another publicity stunt? How unusual!

Souvenir from Africa! :) :) :)
Well said that man!

Gerry Hatrić said...

Speaking of mimes, we have at our church someone who signs for the hard of hearing when the preacher talks. I was referring to that person the other day and couldn't remember her name or what you called someone who signs, so I referred to her as the "mime", to much hilarity.


Tom Cruise irritates me full stop.

Unknown said...

Ex-Lax may be out of fashion, but it still works. Just a thought.

Chat Blanc said...

I'm soooo with ya on this Crotchety! And besides the celebs, "real" people are also getting on my nerves as of late. Hmmmmm, time to up my meds! :)

A New Yorker said...

That's pretty funny about the hospitals. Did you know that they make 66% of their overall operating budget each year by the C-sections they perform. Guess that's where their ad dollars are coming from!

Matt said...

Wow, I could have written this post! I despise most celebs to begin with, but when they get together like A-Rod and Madonna it's just more than I can take.

Tom Cruise is a nut-job, he got miserable reviews (once again) for his role in this movie, and he is about to lose one of the hottest women on the planet because he is such an idiot.

Don't even get me started on Celebrity parents. I'm in a good mood today and would like to stay that way.

ReformingGeek said...

I think Cruise is weird just to be weird. He's certainly NOT a hero. Has he ever had any hardships?

Madonna - OK, she can sing...That's all I'm saying.

A-Rod - Uhm...yeah, he used to play for us (Rangers) and he's very talented and was well liked until he opened his face hole after he went to the Yankees. Maybe he has a problem keeping things zipped...

Sorry, your rant.....just couldn't resist you opening that door!

Anonymous said...

Tom Cruise is an absolute quack and it amuses the ever living shit out of me!!! Collie and I refer to Madonna's cheeks as the cutlets. They are gross and look "not human".

Swirl Girl said...

Couldn't agree with you more on any of this.

although Madonna may be 50ish- but her bod rocks like a 30 something!

..and I (don't look so shocked now) never , never found Tom Cruise all that and a bag of chips. Even in the 80's.

Da Old Man said...

@ Unfinished: No doofus actor is a hero for a role they play.

@ Lola: I'm cracking up at the thought of her doing motherly things. Can't see that happening.

@ Charmaine: It is amazing, isn't it?

@ Adullamite: Isn't it something how everything she does is accompanied by cameras?

@ Mulled: That is so funny. One of the best wrong use of words ever.

@ FishHawk: I haven't been regular, and it shows. BTW, How 'bout them 'Boys

@ Chat: We should get frequent user discounts

@ Lauren: Doesn't surprise me in the least

@ Matt: The post did lack your flair, though. You tend to be logical, I prefer a spittle laced rant.

@ Reforming: You are welcome to join in on any and all rants.
NY A-Rod joke just for you. Difference between Babe Ruth and A-Rod? Ruth visited a hospital and promised to hit a home run for a sick kid. A-Rod visited a sick kid and promised to hit a ground out to second for him.

@ Rusty: He is a nut, so why does he make so much money? Aren't sane people able to act?

Da Old Man said...

@ Swirl Girl: But she has 20 years of baggage to go with that.

Unknown said...

The fact that health care is a commodity in America scares the hell out of me (mind you, GOOD healthcare in Canada is also a commodity... it's called going to an American hospital). I thankfully never heard of A-Rod... and, as for Tom Cruise? I think the real hero in that film is the one who was willing to play Hitler.

Paul Eilers said...

I hate the Yankees. A-Rod is the highest paid choke job in baseball.

And Tom Cruise is WEIRD. Which is what it seemingly takes to be a good actor/actress these days. Can you imagine John Wayne getting into Scientology?

Madonna? Pffft...

Kevenj said...

Actually its T.V. evangelists that have 10,000 sq foot buildings full of emotional soon-to-be-forclosed-upon families that just can't color-match their Rolex with their Armani Suit that gets my goat.

When I'm bored (or imbibing) it's fun to call the 800# on the screen and pretend I'm a Satanist looking for answers.

Da Old Man said...

@ Shadow: It's a commodity everywhere, realistically.

@ Paul: A-Rod only chokes when it really, really matters. Like the playoffs.

@ Kevin: Some of them are ok, some are not. Believe it or not, some of the TV evangelists never ask for money.

Anonymous said...


Donnie said...

Tom Cruise is a jerk. So many of these people are only surviving by feeding on each others egos. Very few of them have anything else to live for..."Chowderheads!" Lol, I don't think I've heard that expression since Joe Pesci used it in "My Cousin Vinny".

Briana said...

The MOST annoying has to be Brangelina. It was sooo offensive when Angelina talked about showing the kids the movie where they "fell in love." Doesn't she get that sleeping with a married man is not cool?

Having oodles of children will never make up for that in my book.

Anonymous said...

Tom Cruise is on my top ten list of annoying, overpaid celebrities. I want to see the movie, but almost can't stand to go because he is in it.

crotchety old woman...

Da Old Man said...

@ Dani: Could be

@ Don: Chowderheads fits perfectly, too

@ Briana: She's pretty clueless, and so many fawn all over them with their "love story"

@ C.O.W. : He's at the top of my list. BTW, nice name.

Anonymous said...

I thought the same thing about the hospitals and the cheese grits. I've been lucky to live close to the best hospital in town so that when I do get hit by a bus or have that heart attack I'm an automatic in.

I never really like Tom Cruise but he lost me at hello (sorry I couldn't resist) he lost me with the dumping of his first wife, I can't remember her name but when he did it again it was no surprise. What's her face will be out in the cold soon enough I suspect. Let's hope she isn't pregnant anytime soon.

tashabud said...

Da Old Man,
Your screen name and avatar intrigued me. Thanks for dropping me an Entrecard. I smiled while reading your post. I'm sickened to know how much all these celebrities are making, especially in the kind of economy we're in. With the amount of money those Hollywood people and atheletes make, it's enough to rescue California from bankruptcy.

Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

between 30 and 60 million?

Tom Cruize can finally afford to have that penis installed!


I want some xanex! I am with you on all these. I like you cranky.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Crotchety. When you're right you're right, you know? Tom Cruise sucks, A-Rod has lost his damned mind and Madonna should have vanished around 1985. Good call on the hospital, too. We've got one here in town (right next to a cemetery -- creepy) and I know where I'm heading in case of emergency.

Happy New Year's to you, Crotchety old bean!

Anonymous said...

If you weren't cranky, you wouldn't be crotchety old man, now would you? That is why we all come by, we enjoy the cranky.

You may find Tom Cruise annoying, but you have to admit, he has gotten himself well under control since he fired his sister and hired a real publicist. It is amazing what a good publicist can hide.

Charmaine said...

This just in:

Get over to my blog and tell me who to date next. I'm not making a move until I hear from Crotchety.

Da Old Man said...

@ Jen: The closest hospitals to me are only good after getting hit by buses or heart attacks.

@ Tasha: Thanks for stopping by and your kind words. Hope to see you again.

@ Mike: According to Google, that is what he averages per movie.

@ Health Nut Mom: Thanks. I'll share.

@ The Hawg: Thanks, and a Happy New Year to you

@ Anne: Cranky is kind of my trademark

@ Charmaine: I voted.

Unknown said...

You'll be happy to know online I just saw a review of Tom Cruise's acting in Valkyrie as being so bad it is "distractingly bad." It seems Tom Cruise is playing... well, Tom Cruise in the 1930s/40s.

But I guess he was miscast. :)

Da Old Man said...

@ Jenn: That does cheer me up a bit. Thanks.

Angi said...

I could not agree with you more about A-Rod and Madonna, and Billy Ray Cyrus. I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw Billy Ray/Miley's photo shoot - they looked like Harlequin lovers, not a father and daughter. And, needless to say, I was not sorry when A-Rod left the Mariners. ;-)