Saturday, December 06, 2008

The Saturday Morning Weirdness Post

Thinking about the posts that are the most popular among my sick and demented erudite readers, and the ones that immediately come to the forefront are my hospitalization ones, my unique pictures found while scanning various websites, and, of course, those that give my idiotically skewed unique views on life and stuff. This will be one of those.

The Crotchety Old Lady calls me Mr. Excitement. And here's why.
Friday night, you were probably out at the local tavern, pub, disco, cinema, or even visiting a friend. What was I doing? Blog research. My topic? Ear wax.
I went to WebMD and did you know, there is not a whole lot of information on it?

Now, a normal person would simply move on, but youse all know I'm not normal, and this now has become the focal point of my night. (yeah, I have a lot of free time)

First, I find out 2 very important earwax facts. Earwax is a lubricant, and it has a bitter flavour, according to The Google. Now, these two tiny facts open up a myriad of questions. I know you are thinking them, also. WTH is it lubricating? And the really big question, who tasted it? It's obvious, because the Google spelled the word flavour that it was a British scientist who performed this service. Is this normal behavior for British scientists? Was it on a dare? Were a bunch of scientists, after working all day on space age ear wax removal technology, having a couple warm brewskis (they are British, remember) when suddenly Gerald said to Henry, "I wonder what ear wax tastes like." And one thing lead to another, and next thing, they are dipping crisps into the pot of earwax in the lab.

Naturally, this leads to my next topic, Lindt Lindor Dark Chocolate truffles.
And here is something I found very weird. Possibly my absolute favorite thing is these delicious truffles. They are available from from various vendors, and I'm not making this up, used or new. Personally, I'd pay the extra money and get the new ones.


Unknown said...

How strange when you think of all the things we know and wonder who first did it. For example, who first decided that what came out of a cows udder was something we humans would want to drink?!

Swirl Girl said...

I hope the used ones weren't used the ear wax guy.

word to the wise - stay away from the 'slightly' bittersweet ones.

LL said...

The used ones have a most unique flavor though.

Anonymous said...

I think you need to find more things to do with your time! LOL

Ear wax .. well our dog must LOVE bitter things then because she loves licking our ears ... gets right in there with her sloppy wet tongue. Bleah.

Hmmm used Lindt Lindor Dark Chocolate truffles. I wonder just what they were USED for?

Adullamite said...

Of course the correct spelling is 'flavour.' Tsk!

Deb said...

Those used truffles are part of the Lindt line of Excrement Truffles.

shyne said...

LOL! Who would've thought a commentary on earwax could be funny!!!!

Now that I've had the laugh, a serious issue is beginning to take form.
I love the Lindt confections but,the next time I go to bite into one, I'm going to associate it with bitter earwax....Yuck!

Anonymous said...

Ear wax is the least sexy lubricant, I think. Well, it might be. Give me some time, I'll think about it and get back to you.

2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

Definitely you are weird for spending so much time on ear wax but it did make me laugh.

Plus it is the Americans fault for taking the "U" out of everything, after all it was our language first!!!

I am giving you an explanation of how they know the ear wax is bitter. Scientist sticks fingers in ear, without knowing there is ear wax on the end of his finger and then proceeds to eat Doritos, forcing him to suck on finger to get the yucky Dorito crap off and notices bitter taste. Realizes it must be ear wax! What do you think? Just trying to support the Brits and don't want the World to think we are ear wax sucking scientists.

Anonymous said...

Having diabetes, I've discovered that Lindt Lindor Dark Chocolate truffles, (at least the candy BAR) is fine to eat. I used to down an entire bag of Butterfingers, or Twizzlers in one evening. Now, I'm okay with half a Lindt candy bar. And I wonder how much they paid the "scientist" to discover that ear wax is bitter? Ask any kid. They'll tell you for free.

Da Old Man said...

@ Etta: You know whoever did that, it was on a dare.

@ Swirl: I only buy mine right from the Lindt store, where they are guaranteed to be new

@ LL: Maybe so, but I'll still pass

@ Chris: Mrs. Says the same thing

@ Adullamite: Youse guys love those extraneous U's

@ Deb: That line never was very popular

@ Shyne: Just check the ingredients to be sure you get the ear wax free truffles and you'll be fine

@ Lucy: You're not a British scientist, are you?

@ Heather: Good to know not all British scientists are ear wax suckers

@ Dana: Dark chocolate, in moderation, is pretty safe for diabetics because it is lower in sugar. I'm not sure about ear wax for diabetics, though.

Bradley said...

Ear wax as a lubricant, huh? Hmmmmmmm That's information that could come in handy sometime.

ReformingGeek said...

I'm sure it was someone of Asian influence that first tasted ear wax. After all, you've probably seen what they call food. So maybe it's steamed cockroach in a bittersweet ear wax sauce......

Yeah. Let's hope the "used" chocolates are not recycled.

Da Old Man said...

@ Bradley: I'm afraid. Very afraid

@ Reforming: Roaches in an earwax sauce. It does sound like something I saw Andrew Zimmern eat.

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this blog...

Adullamite said...

It's 'yous' by the way (@Glasgow citizens the year dot!)

Da Old Man said...

@ DD2: Thank you

@ Adullamite: I use the New Jersey spelling.

Chat Blanc said...

hahaha! yeah, I'll take a NEW truffle over USED ear wax any day. :P

A New Yorker said...

Very strange and weird ending to your post :) BTW did you read about ear candling?

Da Old Man said...

@ Chat: Hell to the yeah

@ Lauren: Didn't Shrek have ear candles?

MYM said...

Not only funny ... but educational too. Your blog is amazing.

Hey - like the new layout - it's been awhile since I've wandered around blog world, obviously!

Anonymous said...

My cat likes earwax on a Q-tip. He licks it like a lollipop. No, I'm serious...and um, yeah, on the new ones.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget us Canadians use the U in those words. It could have been a Canadian.

And we're weird.

Not as weird as the British

And we certainly don't yell at cars

But weird nonetheless.

Da Old Man said...

@ Drowsey: I know, you've been MIA lately. The blog entertains and informs.

@ Unfinished: I have a present for your cat

@ Mike: I thought Canadian scientists worked on igloo technology, and left ear wax for the Brits.

Anonymous said...

What the hell is a used truffle?

The mind boggles...

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

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