Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Best Whacking Day Ever

Every other month or so is Whacking Day in the Crotchety household.

Not that kind

I go to see Doctor Sergi, who takes a scalpel or really expensive clippers and whacks at my foot for a while. This procedure is called debriding (pronounced either as debreeding or de bride ing,) which is kind of funny because my foot never was a bride, nor did it ever breed. I prefer to call it whacking.

Anyway, after whacking, my toe nails get clipped, and then comes the really bizarre part, he uses a
Dremel Moto tool

to finish them off. It's just a strange experience.

But this was a good day.

The Spawn drove me to Subway, and while she was inside getting me my 5 dollar foot long, what should blow past my car, but a crisp Andrew Jackson.


So, I'm cutting this short, and need to search for a picture for tomorrow's caption. It will be a good one.

Be afraid.



Swirl Girl said...

um, isn't that called a pedicure?

Unknown said...

Would Dr. Sergi's "office" be located at Meadowlands Racetrack?

Unknown said...

I am glad you get your feet taken care of by a Doctor. You can never be too careful. Sorry, somtimes I do not feel like being funny.

A New Yorker said...

Well you live in NJ...consider yourself lucky it was that kind of whacking!

ReformingGeek said...

Wow! And you get to shower and/or bathe once a month too, right?

I'm ready for that picture! Does it involve a kidney stone?

Matt said...

You do realize you could have gotten four more 5-dollar foot-longs *cue Subway music* with that Jackson you found? Then you could have a foot-long party at the crotchety place. Oh, never mind, this comment is starting to take on a whole new meaning. ☺

Unknown said...

Happy whacking day...

Harry Yack said...

Oh hoho! Every day is Whacking Day in the Yack household.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know where you were going with that Whacking title. I wasn't sure I really wanted to know. Whew!

Not that this was much better for you. :( But yes, we will be very afraid...

...and don't you have another post coming? Where is that one? :)

Sandee said...

Hey, if that's the kind of whacking you like then go for it.

Make it a good day yourself. :)

Anonymous said...

I thought this was going to be a story from when you were 13 and found your dad's playboy's.

Jormengrund said...

Let's think about this for a second..

You're diabetic, so toenail care is important (for some reason)

Because of this, you let your toenails get NASTY and stuff, and then you have a PROFESSIONAL clip and grind them down to normal..

Whacking sounds fine, but it's more of a pedicure sound to me..

Admit it, you ask him for a light massage and polish while you're there too, don't you??

Da Old Man said...

@ Swirl: I guess so. I never thought about it that way.

@ FishHawk: No, it's in a regular medical complex.

@ Etta: Though I would prefer it to be an Asian woman in a kimono who barely speaks English, a doctor is probably the better choice

@ Lauren: True dat

@ Reforming: Those showers are pretty special, too.

@ Matt: Before she went in to get the subs, I was singing the theme, so Spawn thought I was acting it out when I was pointing to the $20.

@ Dani: Thanks.

@ Hindley: TMI, dude, TMI

@ Unfinished: It was ripe with promise

@ Sandee: It is ok, as long as subs are involved. That's how the family bribes me into going

@ Mike: Maybe next time

@ Jormen: Toenail care is important because a little nick can turn into disaster. It's a bit beyond pedicure, because the whacking is done on an open wound.

Gianetta said...

Somebody's whacking me! And I have no privacy. Wooooah oh (In my best Michael Jackson voice)

Michelle said...

Oh for sure, its a pedicure!!!

Or as us woman like to call it
A pedi!!!

Dude, just go to the pedi place, its cheaper, more comfy and they massage your feet!!! I would go with you but i don't like the sight of unsightly feet!!!

Even my broken toe foot is probably prettier than yours!!!


Matt said...

Just call it a manicure...nobody will complain.

Donnie said...

Glad you got to see an Andrew Jackson up close and personal. My last one flew out of my wallet two days ago. Wait, hell. Was that in New Jersey? That's where I lost mine.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I think it is a pedicure, but I suppose it could be called a whacking, depending on the extent of your foot fetish. :o)

Anonymous said...

A Dremel tool? What the hell? I've got one of those in my garage. Great for grinding and drilling on, you know, non-living materials.

Very odd.

Lin said...

It's sorta a vibrator for your toenails. Did they enjoy themselves?!

LOBO said...

"Whacking day" is one of my fave Simpsons EVER.

Christ ... is that show even still on the air? I don't think I've watched one since "Fururama" ...

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