Sunday, January 04, 2009

Sunday Breakfast at Tiffany's

I tried taking advice from Reforming Geek last week, and did something nice for the Crotchety Old Lady to try to get her in a better mood.

I guess I just don't understand that woman as well as I thought.

I made her a nice breakfast. I went all out. I made her her favorite breakfast--whole wheat toast. I even buttered it for her. No coffee because we have some high tech coffee maker that I don't know how to use. But I poured a nice glass of cold water. And not just tap water, mind you, but water I ran through the Brita pitcher, so it was like I prepared that too. What got her all riled up? Youse won't believe this. I didn't clean up the dishes I used for making her that gourmet breakfast.


There is just no making that woman happy.


HR Diva said...

Joe you are a piece of work. Next time take her out to breakfast so there won't be any dirty dishes.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

Mrs. Crotchety is a bit HM (high maintenance). You are so loving and studly. I mean dishes schmishes. So what if bacteria colonies are creating mini villages and electing their mayor in your sink. I say just throw away the dishes OR do what I do to make it all go away: put a blanket over the mess. Tada! I'm a newlywed and I think I got this all figured out.

Gianetta said...

You been taking pictures at my house again?

CastoCreations said...


She sure is high maintenance. LOL There just is no pleasing some people. =)

Legal Cat said...

That must be some breakfast with all those dishes..

Adullamite said...

Ungrateful woman!
There again, washing dishes is what lassies were made for...

Gerry Hatrić said...

ROFL. Them's some serious toast making dishes you have there.

You've got to find out what her "love language" is, man. :)

Michelle said...

Old Man you did your best!! Next time you need to step it up and perhaps go with english muffins lightly toasted with just a touch of butter and jam!!

Then include a nice bottled water such as Jana which comes from

Scientists have confirmed that Jana natural artesian water began its long journey from the surface to a depth of 2500 feet well over 3,000 years ago. Jana Water is bottled at the source at an underground depth of 2500 feet in the picturesque Croatian village of Saint Jana, nearby the Adriatic Sea. Croatia, a country known for its water has the largest supply of drinking water in all of Europe.

Old man can you imagine old womans glee at realizing you went to the picturesque Croatian village of Saint Jana for her!!! WOOHOO!!!

Have a nice Sunday!!!! I am off to make some toast!!!

A New Yorker said...

Hire a cleaning service and skip breakfast! :)

Kevenj said...

"...electing their mayor in your sink."

hee hee. SD that was good.

Seriously Crotch, didn't you let the old lady play a few hands in the poker games you guys had last night?
You could've at least let her win a few bucks so she could go out and buy some flowers or something...

shyne said...


You man, you!!!

Da Old Man said...

@ RutgersMB: Do you know how much toast costs in a restaurant? And then she'll wind up getting sausage or something else, and be disappointed.

@ Self: You do have it figured out. Conrats on your newlyweddishness.

@ MA: I wasn't gonna tell

@ Casto: I know. I try and try, too.

@ Kruel: Itwas wonderful. She should have been more grateful

@ Adullamite: Funny thing, every time I remind her of that, she throws something at me.

@ Mulled: Taking care of me should be enough. That's every woman's dream, isn't it?

@ Michelle: It is a thought, but she wouldn't want that much of a fuss made. She probably hates it when I'm inconvenienced. Enjoy your toast.

@ Lauren: Cleaning service? But she so enjoys housework.

@ Kevin: Buy flowers? I bought her seeds so she can grow her own. It's a life lesson, too. She is learning patience.

Da Old Man said...

@ Shyne: I'm doing my best. I can't help it wimmin are so complex.

ReformingGeek said...

I'm not so sure I want to know what you put into that toast and I'm sure you misunderstood my advice as most men do. Ha!

We wimmin are picky about our dishes. We like the way we stack them in the dishwasher and we don't like they way you leave giant gaps in the dishwasher as it's nowhere near capacity when you think you are done. ;-)

Unknown said...

WOW! All of THAT for water and buttered toast? I must have been magnificent. How DARE she complain!

Lipstick said...

LMAO!! Next time just serve her breakfast in bed with paper plates and a plastic cup. You could even add a (silk) flower for that extra special romantic touch.

Unknown said...

Now see Joe. If you had a dog you could have let him lick all those things clean while the Mrs was eating her toast. Also did you make sure your naughty bits were showing to really get her hot? She would have been laughing and forgot to get mad at you.

Sandee said...

Stay out of the kitchen Crotchety. Stay out of the kitchen. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a great day in the doghouse. :)

Bee said...

Hmmmm. Next time just throw the pots/dishes out. That's what my hubs did when we first got married.

Anonymous said...

Crotchety, what the heck do you think the oven is for? Sheesh, to hide the dirty dishes of course!!!


Da Old Man said...

@ Reforming: You need to be more precise

@ Dizz: Exactly. It was the best toast ever

@ Lipstick: I'm taking notes

@ Etta: I keep telling her a dog would make her life easier. She said she already has one thing living here that just sits around and farts all day.

@ Sandee: I need to watch a little more Food Network, that's all.

@ Bee: That makes sense to me.

@ Angie: Good idea

Anonymous said...

That must have been some bodaciously fantastic toast and the fact she made up excuses to get angry just proves to me that she is jealous of your gourmet culinary skills.

There is just no pleasing high maintenance women.

I suggest you watch Giada de Laurentiis on the food network - but ignore the recipes - they are just too complicated.

Paul Eilers said...

Women. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

One of these days, we'll figure out the secret language of women.

Then again, we probably won't.

Donnie said...

Hahahaha! You mean you haven't learned yet? I know better than that!

Anonymous said...

She just needed a little caffeine. Try Mountain Dew next time instead of filtered water. Put some vodka in it as well, she'll have a great morning next time. You might not even have to dirty dishes to make the toast if all she needs is a caffeinated morning cocktail.

Janna said...

A haiku for you:

One Egg McMuffin.
Just go to drive-thru window.
Easy. No dishes.

Da Old Man said...

@ David: It as the best she ever had, I'm sure

@ Paul: I'd go with probably not

@ Don: I'm trying, but failing

@ Starcasm: She does enjoy her vodka.

@ Janna: Thanks. And good advice, in the form of haiku, is always welcomed

Unknown said...

Clean up is the worst part. However, men aren't supposed to understand women.

The Josh said...

Women - you can't live without them, and they can't pee standing up. It's a terrible time to be a man. It's a little belated, but hope your year started off well.

Matt said...

The rule in our house is "She who cooks it..clean it." Mind you that there is no reference to "he" anywhere in that sentence.

Melanie said...

I haven't even read the text of this post but I want to know where you got a picture of my kitchen!!!!!

Da Old Man said...

@ Sherry: Yeah, most men aren't really known for attention to details like cleaning stuff up.

@ Josh: It's going well, thanks. Hope yours is too.

@ Matt: I noticed.

@ Melanie: We have our ways