Sock it to me?

That was the phrase that won the Presidential election of 1968.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ItU6tkdF2A

Richard Nixon appeared on one of the top sketch comedy shows of the day (one of the greatest of all-time, really.) Laugh-in had the effect of humanizing him, and made him into an electable candidate. He went from a punchline of many jokes to almost lovable. This was the first time such a tactic was used.

Today, appearing on TV programs is a staple part of the campaign. A week or so ago, John McCain appeared on WWE Wrestling (you can't make this up.) Hosting, or at least being a part of a comedy or funny talk show is almost routine for presidential candidates. Obama has been on Letterman to do a Top Ten List, and last night it was Hillary's turn.

In case you missed it, here is her list:

10. "We have more Dakotas than every other country combined."

9. "Canadian bacon: soggy and chewy; American bacon: crisp and delicious!"

8. "Thanks to the internet, I can order new pantsuits 24/7. There's your pantsuit joke, Dave. Are you happy now?"

7. "232 years and not one cookie shortage."

6. "TiVo."

5. "Did I mention the soup? Mmm, soup."

4. "Did you know former President Teddy Roosevelt was an American?"

3. "Where else can you get a car painted for $29.95?"

2. "Is this the part where I say, 'Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!'?"

1. "Apparently anyone can get a talk show."


Apparently, making a fool of oneself is the way to win the hearts of Americans.

I wonder if either party is thinking about Carrot Top for 2012?

I Don't Want to Grow Up

I'm not sure why I titled this entry what I did, but I guess after reading the following quote, I couldn't get the Toys R Us jingle out of my head. : )

All my life I used to wonder what I would become when I grew up. Then, about seven years ago, I realized that I was never going to grow up...that growing is an ever ongoing process.

M. Scott Peck

I picked this quote today because this is an issue that has been on my mind. We, as humans, continue to evolve as a species and as individuals every day. I know I'm a different man than I was a few years ago, and I'd like to think I'm a better person, too.

Life is a learning process, and the ultimate knowledge is that which we learn of ourselves.

Lifestyles of the uber rich and not very famous

I was just looking at the list of the world's richest individuals, and it dawned on me that the overwhelming majority are pretty much unknown here in the USA. Outside of Warren Buffett and Bill gates, the rest are from other countries, and truth be told, names not recognized by us.

Warren Buffett (US): $62bn
Carlos Slim (Mexico): $60bn
Bill Gates (US): $58bn
Lakshmi Mittal (India): $45bn
Mukesh Ambani (India): $43bn
Anil Ambani (India): $42bn
Ingvar Kamprad (Sweden): $31bn
KP Singh (India): $30bn
Oleg Deripaska (Russia): $28bn
Karl Albrecht (Germany): $27bn

But here is what I thought about: the plight of Africa and many other countries without pure water. I have read that it costs anywhere from $70 to $300 depending on who is giving the estimate. If each of these top super rich billionaires gave just $30,000,000 each, a pittance by their standards, almost like a dollar to you and me, a million wells could be drilled. If just one gave a billion dollars, over a quarter million wells could be drilled. The impact of fresh water is tremendous for a local area. It allows them to be self-sufficient. It frees up hours normally spent just attaining this staple of life that we take for granted being available right at our tap. It allows crops to grow, and for the people living there to be more healthy.
The billionaires have the ability to change the world for untold millions.

Addendum:

I was looking at the list, and I realized that 5 of the top ten are from countries that are considered to be extremely poor. It makes me wonder about how wealth is distributed, and why we, as Americans, feel so obligated to help others when their own countrymen don't seem to care.

Today was one of the most difficult of my life

I got back a little while ago from the service for my friend, Bob. In addition to having a great sense of humor, Bob was one of the most extraordinary gentle men I have ever known. I seperated those words for a reason. Bob was a gentle man. I remembered how we would hang out in his garage doing guy stuff--working on cars, bikes, whatever. Ok, it was mostly him working on his car and bike, and I provided comic relief because my mechanical knowledge would barely fill an index card, while Bob could do almost anything. What he couldn't do, he would teach himself to do.

During these work sessions, chipmunks would come into the garage, and go up to Bob. He would tell them to hold on a minute, and he then give them a peanut from the stash he kept in the garage. This was done like it was the most normal thing in the world.

But what really struck me today was the fragile nature of our existence. Bob was a powerful man. He was 6'5" and strong and healthy. When we were younger, he was a really good athlete, and could have been a jock if he wanted to. He did all the crazy stuff young men do. He was a biker all his life, and he may have occasionally played fast and loose with speed limits. Ok, on more than one occasion, police showed up at his home and told him, "Look we know it was you," referring to reports of a bike racing through his hometown at speeds that were in triple digits. Considering that he was the only one in town with a street legal racing bike, they really didn't have to think too much to figure out who it was.

But all it took to end the life of this strong man was the flu. I'm sure, wherever Bob is, he is laughing his ass off about that.

Divorce sucks

I spent time on the phone yesterday speaking to an old friend. He's going through a nasty divorce. His can't be soon enough ex-wife is really making it hard for him. It's not the financial part of it, it's that she is engaging in spiteful behavior. How can two people who used to be in love be so vicious towards one another?

I know the old joke is that divorce is so expensive because it's worth it, but why does it have to be hurtful? Funny part is, this is the third divorce I've heard of recently where the one who initiated it by doing things that were wrong in the context of marriage, act like they were so aggrieved. Can't anyone own up to their shortcomings? Won't anyone admit wrongdoing any more?

I'm going to my buddy's memorial service today. He and his wife were together for 27 years. They had rough patches, but they got through them because they started out as friends, and worked through problems and stayed friends. I never heard Bob utter an unkind word about anyone (ok, maybe a few of his bosses, but we all know what jerks they can be) and perhaps that is a huge part of the reason he and his wife were so happy for so long.

The Democrats are confusing me

I don't under stand why so many are coming out and saying Hillary should drop out of the race and get behind Obama. I'm confused for a number of reasons. First, would be that the race is still close. By her just dropping out, when the race is still very tight, and a number of voters haven't been heard yet, sounds, for lack of a better term, not very democratic.

Secondly, her dropping out without a winner being decided makes anyone who supported her insignificant, as if they don't count. If I back someone and they lose, I could deal with that, but if they were pressured to quit while it was still a race, I would be offended.

Third, the logic that by focusing on each other rather than McCain, is destructive and is a faulty premise. The American voting public has a short memory, at best. The all-important first primary was in New Hampshire. How many people can name all the candidates? Mrs. Clinton came in first, Obama came in second. I doubt few people can name who came in 3rd, or any of the other high rated candidates, let alone some of the fringe ones. The Democratic National Convention is in August. 10 weeks is more than enough time to decide. These folks are not exactly unknowns. I think they are selling the American public short by assuming we need more than 10 weeks to make a decision.

Let the registered voters decide. If it is still undecided come August, let it be dealt with it then. That is democracy in action.

A Bob Story

I have been thinking about my buddy Bob all morning.

I wanted to share one of the stories that just describes the kind of guy he was. Back when we were around 17 or 18, a huge snow storm hit NJ. We drove around (back then gas was around 30 cents a gallon, so it was not an unusual activity --why am I starting to sound like Grandpa Simpson?) anyway, we came upon a car stuck in the snow. We pulled over and pushed the car out and got the driver back on the road. Bob decided it was fun helping out stranded motorists, so we spent the next few hours driving around and pushing people stuck in the snow. Most of them offered us money, but we never took a dime. Just randomly helping out strangers, that was the kind of guy he was. You can only imagine just how great a friend he was.

It's Hard to Find the Words

I got a call around 8:00 tonight from the wife of one of my oldest friends. My buddy passed away from the flu. I am still in a state of disbelief. Bob was one of the biggest, toughest, most athletic guys I ever knew, and he died from the friggin' flu. He got sick about 2 weeks ago, and it turned into pneumonia, I guess, and he never got better. Bob was a great guy, always ready to help anyone. I could blog for days with Bob stories. But I'm not ready right now to talk about him. I'm just too sad.

Rest in Peace, my friend.

WTH?????

I need to know what is up with those things where I have to sign in or sign up and leave a comment at MySpace, eBay or various other places. It will say to type in the following code. What the hell is it? I can barely make out the letters.

Is that Pi, then some Greek letters, and an ankh? I don't even have those keys on my computer. I totally understand the logic, but why are the letters so damn hard to read? The other day, I had to guess 3 times before I finally got a letter pattern I could read.

I should be able to leave a comment without studying Egyptian or Sanskrit first.

Just sayin'.

According to Jim

According to Jim is in its 8th season, and I have no idea why. Are we that starved for entertainment that such a plain vanilla show just goes on and on?

Here's the part I don't get, though. I like the entire cast. Jim Belushi has been in some movies I liked, and whenever he is on a talk show, he is worth watching. He's a funny guy. I like the guy who plays Andy (notice I'm not even interested enough to look up names, thats how boring the show can be,) Jim's wife, and all the ancillary characters. But, put it all together, and it's "family entertainment," which is code for boring.

I don't even mind family entertainment. I love the Simpsons, which is family fare. Maybe I'm just tired of shows where Dad is a buffoon, made fun of by the sister-in-law, wife, kids, and whoever is in the neighborhood. This doesn't bother me with the Simpsons because well, Homer is a cartoon. I can suspend belief. I should be able to do the same with Jim, but I just can't. I can only assume I dislike it because it's just so formulaic: conflict, Jim over reacts, wife or other family member gets upset, Jim saves the day, everyone hugs after wife or family members get out an "Oh, Jim."

Yawn. I can't remember ever having a LOL moment while watching the show. I'm embarassed to say I've watched quite a few episodes when there was even worse on elsewhere.

I'd have to rate the show a rather disappointing 4.8



It's been a while, so here's a quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR or DVR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to record. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.
6--Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs. You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more.You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a
5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.
4--Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks. Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3--Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.
2-- About the same as a good infommercial. QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!

Has South Park Jumped the Shark? Poor Britney Spears.

This year, while they have had some great episodes like Super Fun Time, the Britney Spears episode was just so..I don't know..disturbing. And the "no intenet" one had it's moments, but overall, just lacking a little bit. I'm almost expecting Ted McGinley to show up any episode now.

I wonder if he'll be sporting a faux hawk when he does.

I will be following this closely.

FYI (because I like to educate and inform)

What is "Jumping the Shark?"

Here's the video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpraJYnbVtE

http://www.jumptheshark.com/index.jspa

My cyber stalker

When I got this computer, I had a security program on a trial basis. I used it for a short period of time (maybe 30 days) and decided not to continue. Now, every day, like some former depraved, obsessive jilted lover, I get a popup reminding me to renew. You'd think after 8 months it would stop. It's relentless.

About once a week or so I get a note from a different service that will find all the computer problems that I have. It turns out the only two problems I have are these never ending reminders to buy the services that will prevent others like them.

I wonder if I can arrange to have the one meet the other? Sort of a cyber lonely hearts club bot dating service. Hmm.

Fox 5 Messes with my Head

I love watching my TV infotainment in the morning. And, Fox 5 in NY is my favorite station. But I have a problem with it. I seem to develop an emotional attachment to the on air personalities. I need to get my soft news from Jodi Applegate and her co-anchor. She's been through quite a few since I started watching. The latest was Ron Corning. He just disappeared. At least with some of the team, they announce that they are leaving. I just tune in hoping to see Ron, and I see some other guy. The weather, man, Mike Woods (who I think the Crotchety Old Lady has a secret crush on)
has been around for a long time. The traffic reporter and the other woman--who doesn't get a title, I guess, seem to last longer than co-anchors. The field reporters have a longer shelf life, but even they just disappear with no notice.

I hate when that happens.

Traffic Reporter Ines Rosales

I Hate Spam

No, not the mystery meat in a can that is favored by Hawaiians and geriatrics everywhere else. But the darn spam that comes in my email every day. And the worst is I fell for a spammer/scammer today. It just seemed to be so simple and safe.

Bastards.

I don't see the difference between this and stealing or harassment.

The method of Tagged.com is best described in a blog by Rubymoon at

http://alphawomen.com/me-me-me-me-me/heads-spam-mail-more

"My e-mail address has been spammed! How? I was sent an e-mail with my sister in law's name..inviting me to Tagged.com. This website is a spam website. Once you click on the yes button to verify that this person is a friend..you have to register. Then they will ask you for your e-mail address and you PASSWORD! Yes, I was foolish enough to enter it. I actually didnt think anything of it. Usually Im very careful and weary. Anyhow..there are e-mails that have a link "unsubscribe"..it will actually subscribe you without your consent & send you a thank you e-mail. Then I got these "Return Path" e-mails asking to verify that I wanted to update my e-mail address for Sprint Nextel. I dont even have an account with them! This e-mail had my email address from where the spam started..and wanted me to update "my account" with my yahoo email address. I kept wondering how they knew it. So please, please..read your e-mails carefully, if you find them the slightest bit suspicious, do not click on any link. Do not even open the link on a new tab! Yes, Im that foolish..lol, apparently. *sigh* And once again, I am truly sorry for causing this mess. Remember "Tagged.com"

I don't think she will mind me borrowing her perfect explanation.

New Scientific Study...Blogging Makes You Smarter

OK, it's not very scientific, and I'm the only participant, but headlines sell. And blogging is making me smarter.

"How so, Old Man," you may ask? Simple, really. Blogging on my 3, and counting, blogs is forcing me to expand my horizons. Because I feel an obligation to my readers and myself, I drag myself away from watching really bad TV, like TMZ or any of the other celeb news programs and horrible sitcoms, and instead watch good movies, or even read.

Sure, a lot of what I read is in the blogoshpere, but the intermingling of ideas is what makes the web exciting. I also get to read news articles from around the world, and again, find different perspectives.

And while I am as interested as the next guy to find out what Britney Spears or Lindsey Lohan is up to, it's nice to keep my mind active with real news, too.

It's funny, but the more I discover about others, the more I discover about me.

Is This Any Way to Treat a Hero?

Is this how you would treat a hero?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46vYZFU1Dew

This video showed the conditions at Fort Bragg, home to the renowned 82nd Airborne.

The Mission of the 82nd , taken right from their own website is: Within 18 hours of notification, the 82nd Airborne Division strategically deploys, conducts forcible entry parachute assault and secures key objectives for follow-on military operations in support of U.S. national interests.

They have a long, storied, and proud history. They have served the United States well. And, after serving us, this is how we treat them? Have them housed in deplorable conditions, and expose them to heaven knows what diseases.

The video asks us to contact Colonel Fox at Fort Bragg, but after spending an hour, I was unable to find any phone number, e-mail, or even a mailing address for him or any of the big Kahunas in the military high command. So, I drafted a letter to the Boss, President Bush. I will e-mail it as soon as I post this blog. I don’t know if it will help, but it sure can’t hurt.

Here’s my letter:

Dear President Bush:

I have seen, through video and newspaper coverage, stories about the abysmal living conditions at Fort Bragg. Our fighting men and woman put their lives on the line for America, and while this is something for which no price could ever be determined, we do owe them, at the very least, safe, sanitary, and comfortable living conditions when they return to the United States. Our heroes deserve nothing less. I ask you to please help resolve this issue.

Respectfully,

Me

President Bush may be contacted at

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington D.C. 20500

Or

Comments@whitehouse.gov

Or

A comment may be left at (202) 456-1111

Please do your part to right this injustice.

Televisions Little Annoyances

For all of my TV viewing life, with rare exceptions, TV shows have started and ended in convenient little intervals. They start and stop on the hour or half-hour, and last either 30 or 60 minutes. TBS did try some an experiment when they first started out with programming on the 5's, but obviously that didn't work out.

So, what is up with this stupid crap that Gray's Anatomy and The Office did last night and have been doing all too frequently? Gray's ran 62 minutes, and the Office went 31. The biggest irritant? Gray's ended, more or less at 60 minutes, but I can't turn it off until the Old Lady sees the coming attractions for next week. Not that she, or most of the viewing public will remember them, mind you, but it is done to stretch it out even more. This stupid ploy is a way to provide a lead in for the next program. But all it does is make me miss the opening of the show I want to watch. And, of course, make me angry with the Old Lady for making me miss it so she can see the previews that she is going to forget anyway. Here's an idea: instead of gimmickry, why not offer quality programming? That sleight of hand may have been more successful before remotes, but now, it just takes a quick click to get me out of bad TV.

Another thing that really makes me irritated is that it seems every successful show becomes a double episode. Biggest Loser was probably the first show that did it. The 2 hour super special season premiere episodes have morphed into a regular part of the schedule. And, of course, much of the show is just repetition, as they recap highlights seen earlier. And now, Deal or No Deal has adopted the same formula. It is almost as if they punish the faithful viewer and reward the channel flipper.

Considering my well-known short attention span, anyone can guess what I do. I watch a different show for the first hour, and then tune in later, or vice versa, just checking in quickly near the end of the show to see who won. Their programming strategy is doing, with me, exactly the opposite of what they wanted. They are encouraging me to tune out.

Not that anyone cares, but Leyla is my favorite Deal or No Deal model.

Giving some love to the Red Sox

It may be the cold medicine talking, but I realized recently that the Sox have a second player I don't hate. This may not seem like big news to anyone, but I have hated the Sox since my first game as a Crotchety Little Kid waaaaay back in 1961. And since then I have hated every player except Manny. I still want him to strike out every single at bat versus the Yankees, of course, but I don't hate him. I may even admit that I like him. Guy just makes me LOL.
But I did say a second player exists.

Sean Casey, back up infielder/DH was just mentioned on Mike and Mike the other day as being a really good guy. This made me happy because the Crotchety Old Lady and I met him when he was a rookie with the Indians. He was a really nice kid from South Jersey, and we have kind of watched his career over the years. It's good to know he is still a decent guy. I hope he does well, but not so well as to ever cost the Yankees a game.

It was nice to see the shirt that the moron buried in the new Yankee Stadium has raised some serious change for the Jimmy Fund. It ended at $175,000. Good to see some positive coming out of the actions of an idiot. Most actions don't have such a happy ending.

I'm Sick + The Farm Report

I have a cold, so I feel like crap. Went through a big box of tissues yesterday, and today ain't looking any better. I'm using every available OTC cold fighter known to modern man, and they seem to work for about 10 minutes.
Cold-Eeze

Emergen-C

Airborn

Kold Kare

Infagard

Clinical Air

Yup, an entire cocktail of these, and no help at all.

Today I have read about the coming food price surges. It is already hitting countries like Haiti and many others. Imagine how thrilled those who are starving must be to find that producers in the USA and Canada are being paid either to grow less, or to grow corn for ethanol. Especially if they ever knew that ethanol doesn't work.

Do our legislators ever f'ing study anything that they vote in? All they seem to do is pander to the loudest voice and that usually results in the most short-sighted legislation possible.

And, I have to blame the voters. We should elect more responsible representatives, and do a little research ourselves. Is showing up every 4 years enough to keep this republic free and responsive?

I doubt it.

Big Bang Theory--can this be my new favorite show?

In the NYC area, Monday nights at 8:00 is the time for what may be one of the funniest shows I've seen in a long time. The Big Bang Theory on CBS is very, very funny.
Of course it's formulaic. Won't find anything groundbreaking in the set up or even most of the plots. 4 nerdy young guys, all doctors (not medical, rather in scientific fields) hang out together, and 2 share an apartment. Beautiful (ok, hot) single girl, played by Kaley Cuoco, moves in next door, and the nerdy guys are smitten. They have no idea how to deal with her, and hilarity ensues.

OK, so the basic premise is kind of hackneyed. But the writing is crisp, while the jokes fly fast and furiously. Every nerd stereotype is exploited to its full potential, so I can't imagine this show lasting very long, like a Seinfeld or some other classic comedy. However, I am really enjoying it while it's here. For today, it's can't miss TV.

I rate it a solid 9.6.


Kaley Cuoco:
Remember her from 8 Simple Rules?



http://www.cbs.com/primetime/big_bang_theory