Friday, October 24, 2008

Crotchety's Collosal Chocolate Candy Contest

Got a lot to cover here, but it will be worth it.

First some old business: The winner of caption this
Ever since he told Luke that he was his father, Darth Vader had to sell everything to cover the back child support...


and the winner of the Zucchini Award


is: Tahtimbo, who also receives 1000 entrecard credits.

First place votes went to Tahtimbo, Fishhawk, Matt, Gumby, and Dad the Dude. Multiple points were scored by Jenn, MA Fat Woman, Matt, Kiki, Chat Blanc, Shaxx, Lauren, and the Hawg

second place was Fishhawk, and Gumby came in third. Thank you to everyone who participated.

The ceremiony was cut a little short because today is the first day of a huge contest with real prizes.

Crotchety's Collosal Chocolate Candy Contest

I am giving away a few bags a day for 4 days of


This contest is very easy to win. All you need to do is leave a comment on the post of the day to get one chance to win that day. Please be aware, that if you win, you will need to send me your name and address because you will receive a 9 oz bag of Dove chocolate candy, and the post office generally prefers a name and address. I have a nice mix of milk chocolate and dark chocolate, some bags with almonds and some not. I'll offer choice as long as I can. I highly recommend the dark as it is very flavorful and loaded with anti-oxidents. It is nearly a vegetable. By the way, I will dump your address as soon as the contest is over. Don't worry about me stalking you. I once decided to stalk
Closest I got was I left a message on her website, and had ice cream at the shop where she had some vanilla ice cream 20 years ago. I'm a really bad stalker. That plus I try to never leave my house as I have had run ins with nature, and so I have a fear of turkeys, deer, monkeys, and turtles. From what I understand such nature as lions, gorillas, tigers, and hippopotomuses roam around outside, and I really would prefer to not have to encounter them.

And, extra chances can be earned simply by helping me out. Put a link in a post, and let me know you did, and I'll throw an extra chance in the hat for that day. If you put a funny picture of chocolate in the post, that is worth another one.

And if you say something nice in the comments, or make me laugh that's worth extra. For example, "Just give me some candy, you old fart" would earn a chance, but "My, have you been taking extra handsome pills lately, Mr. Crotchety?" would get lots of extra chances.

And lastly, anyone announcing they came here from a blog with a link to me gets extra chances for both of you.

I will post a chocolate related post on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so leave a comment when you can. The more comments, the better your chances.

Notice I didn't ask you to subscribe, but that would be nice. You won't get anything for that other than the good karma that comes from making me happy. Which, of course, is priceless.

And I can only assume you have already voted for me at humorbloggers. If, for some reason, you haven't, you have that opportunity right now. Nothing to join, just click down there and find my name, and vote for me.

The jokes are chocolate covered at


Kelly Ann said...

There must be an award for the first commenter right? :p

What should we link to though? Your blog, or the specific post of the day?

Da Old Man said...

@ Chica: Post of the day or blog. I'm not fussy.

tahtimbo said...

Wow, thank you very much. I am honored to win the Zucchini Award. Now, where to place it so the cat can't eat it?

dadthedude said...

Congrats Tahtimbo! That one cracked me up so much I told strangers about it.

Old Dude - dude! With Halloween coming up I need some chocolate in the house cause I'm giving out all the cheap crap to the rug rats who get past the dog and knock on the door.

You've been on my blog roll since before I had a site.

Unknown said...

After you get done making sure that none of the chocolates have been contaminated with dove droppings, just how much will be left to ship, my dear Crotchety??? Enquiring minds want to know.

P.S.: This blog has been included in this weeks FIVE FOR FRIDAY on All Arkie. Enquiring minds also demand such things. I have no idea why.

Unknown said...

P.S. II: After seeing that I actually came in second this week for the delicious Zucchini Award, I suppose I should take back my previous snide comment(s), my dear Crotchety, but I am just too honorable to do something like that. Besides, you don't even vote--right? So, it's not like you have done anything nice for me.

A New Yorker said...

Wow I got a beans.

Hey I came here because of a link on MY site. And because you're named as a judge on my site today for MY contest running. hmmmm

Unknown said...

I love ya man! You are on my blogroll cuz yer cool like that.

HR Diva said...

Crotchety, I finally got my blog account up and going. I have yet to start a blog of my own though, so i will supply a link to my website instead. :)

Anonymous said...

Chocolate last's longer than sex! I am in!

~*~Shadow.Kat~*~ said...

Your blog is the only blog I still take the time out to visit every single day... that's gotta be worth something! :-P

Ooo yeah... and I absolutely LOVE the caption this week... I laughed just as hard seeing it announced as I did when I read it on the 'caption this' post!

Rubba said...

I'm allergic to chocolate. . .

Couldn't ya give away a car a day or somethin'?. . .

Da Old Man said...

@ Tahtimbo: Cats get into everything, don't they?

@ Dude: Excellent job of complimenting me. Tins of extra points awarded.

@ Fishhawk: No dove droppings. I really don't vote for the caption contest.

@ Lauren: Cool. I get to judge captions, finally. I'll ask Rubba to help.

@ Ettarose: I always read your blog. One of the best.

@ Marybeth: It's about time. :)

@ Susie: I don't even know what to say about that other than I'm so sorry because chocolate lasts around 13 seconds around here.

@ Shadow: TY. You know how to rack up extra points. :)

@ Rubba: I was going to, but do you have any idea what it costs to ship a Yugo?

Lotus B. said...

I have to say I sympothize with the turkey-fear....I was once chased down the street by a turkey. True story. The sad part is I was in my car...but never the less that thing had death in it's eyes. My revenge comes yearly on Thanksgiving.

Unknown said...

Ah, Crotchety-- you are indeed a fellow who knows that the way to our hearts is through our funny bones-- by way of lots and lots of chocolate coursing through our bloodstreams.

Congrats to all the good folks who won. I imagine the judges and Donnas and Rubbas etc., had a heckuva time on this one, as reading the various captions, there were a TON of good'ns there this round.

Anonymous said...

I ended up here cause of a link on crazy Lauren's site. Not sure what these contests are all about but please send Lauren some chocolates to go with her zucchini!

Kelly Ann said...

I dedicated a whole post.. :)

eve cleveland said...

Now that's funny!

Da Old Man said...

@ Lotus: Roselle, NJ, was over run with turkeys a few yars ago. I worked there, so we had to attend a seminar on "What to do if turkeys attack."

@ Jenn: Yeah, choklit is awesome. BTW, the judges--two Donnas, but thankfully, only 1 Rubba.

@ Cupids: OK. That is a kind thing to do.

@ Chica: You are dedicated. And the first winner of the day. :) Send me an email. My addy is on the side.

@ Eve: Thanks. :)

Chat Blanc said...

I KNEW your site was secretly the source of all the internets chocolaty goodness!

No one can make me quit the Cult of Crotchety. I'm a card carrying member and will spread the news of the bounty of chocolate and Crotchety's greatness! :D

I linky luv you everyday on my blogroll.

Marvel Goose said...

How many ways is this contest not me and how can I game it?? Hmm.

I am diabetic for starters so this is like signing up for a contest to win some crack.

Blogroll - People who have commented on my site who have their own sites got their sites listed in the blog-roll without so much as a by-your-leave. So far. I could change that any minute. I can be bribed. But not with crack chocolate Keato-acidosis.

Posting -- This is my natural state of being. The smart alec'e-er the better - er.


I'll show up and make comments daily and if I screw up and win something I'll give the prize to the female blogger who flirted the most with me. Being old, white, balding, non-rich, and with a non-existant bottom that's about the only way I'll ever some flirting.

But don't flirt too hard 'cause Mrs. Goose has a hard beak.

There, now I have a reason to procrastinate writing new posts on my own blog.

Anonymous said...

HAHA.. not if you have bags, and bags..and bags full! You can just keep dippin' back in..

Da Old Man said...

@ Chat: Yes, it is.

@ The dark chocolate is lower in sugra, and even a diabetic can have candy if the carbs are counted. I'm a type 2. I don't ask for blogroll, or subscribe or anything like that because it's kind of phony. And it's not like I'm going to follow up, and demand candy back if it gets taken off. So, basically, throw a link in a post, I come and you get a visit, which is always nice, and a reason to blog instead of putting it off. Basically, it's win-win-win...I dunno, but it's a bunch of wins.

Da Old Man said...

@ Susie: OK, I guess you're right. LOL.

The Hussy Housewife said...

First off..I am a fellow HB= 1point.
2. You are on my blog roll=1 point
3. If you don't hand over the chocolates...anyone with in a mile radius of me is in immediate danger of a crazy whore-moan-al housewife who is getting ready for Old Aunt FLOW to come visit= 10 points.

Need I say more?

Da Old Man said...

@ Jamie: You are the second winner today because you made me laugh (and scared me a little)

Gianetta said...

I just wanted to say "Hi". Hi!

Da Old Man said...

@ MA: Hi :)

Kirsten said...

Will you just go ahead and send me the chocolates now, so I don't have to buy any candy for those little snot noses who will be knocking at my door next week looking for a handout?

Also, is there a prize for longest sentence?

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