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Betty or Wilma? (Wilma) Ginger or MaryAnn (Ginger) These are just a few of the questions guys quiz each other while quaffing various forms of liquid refreshment. I can't imagine two women asking "Fred or Barney?" Women just don't seem to get into these scenarios.
Generally, these can be answered quickly, and a case can't be made to have someone change another's mind. After all, few Betty fans can be persuaded to switch to Wilma, just as no died in the wool Ginger fan will switch because MaryAnn makes a mean Coconut cream pie.
I want to address what may be the greatest of all these, Munsters or Addams Family. Not only is this possibly the greatest question, but it is one that can actually be debated. I've been thinking about this because TVLand now shows the Munsters and the Addams Family every day one after the other. And anyone who knows me, knows that I am a huge fan of both shows.
But I have to decide which is the greatest 60's show.
The Munsters may have had the coolest rides (the Munstermobile and Dragula) but the Addams Family was just better. First, the home was based upon homes from Westfield, NJ. The theme music was just the greatest. Every kid in the 60's knew the words to the theme and at least one off color version of it. Without a doubt, it could be named after hearing just 4 notes.
And the ancilliary characters were awesome. While Grandpa Munster was pretty funny, Uncle Fester was "the man." Who knew more about explosives? Blowing up the toy train set was hilarious.
The Munsters had some sight gags, with all the dust and various ghoulish things around the house, but Gomez on his bed of nails or his torture rack? Humor at its best. And while Eddie Munster had his problems fitting in, Wednesday and Pugsley didn't fit in and were proud of it. If Eddie had trouble at school, Herman and Lilly wanted to help him do better. Boooring. Gomez and Morticia solved the problem by buying their own private school. Everything was just so over the top. The Munsters were a family of freaks trying to fit in, while the Addams Family was a freakish family who made the world adjust to them. The Munsters planned a vacation in the desert, Gomez wanted to go to the moon. For every weird pet the Munsters had, the Addams Family could match it easily. Spot, the unseen pet dragon? Kitty, the often seen lion. A pet bat?
Thing. What could be as cool as Thing? That's right.
Thing stands alone.
It is obvious which is my favorite, and easily the best show. The Addams Family, hands down.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
I'm drawing a blank
I feel totally blah. Not happy, not unhappy. Don't feel like doing much of anything, except eat chocolate Teddy Grahams. Now the box is empty, so it is back to trying to find things to do to keep myself amused.
Most of my online friends are at work, as are my RW friends.
Daytime TV is boring. I have a new magazine here, but don't feel like reading it.
Isn't even anything I can get in trouble doing. I'm pretty much housebound, so any shenanigans will be my fault. I have no one to blame it on, nor can I claim I wasn't around when it happened.
Million things that have to be done (ok, a million is a hyperbole--can't be more than 359,458 things to do) and I just don't feel like doing them. I had a scare with my blood pressure for a few days, it was ridiculosly high, but that has come down into the normal range. Of course, I used some essential oils to do it, so my home smells like a flower shop. Not exactly a bad thing, and a hell of a lot better than having my head or heart explode, which is definately a bad thing.
I have some classical music playing, which I like a lot. I can't tell the difference between Franz and Mozart, but I don't care. I do like something called the Baroque period, but know so little about it. And I'm not interested enough to even google it.
But what has been on my mind is equity.
Not equality, but equity, that is, everyone getting their fair share.
I don't mean in the Communistic sense, but rather in the way that everyone has a fair chance at the golden ring. Maybe the golden ring isn't the right term, but it will have to suffice for now.
I guess it is on my mind because I know a number of individuals (myself included) who need a hand up. At least temporarily. Yet our system is such that it either gives assistance to individuals that don't need it, or makes those that do need it jump through hoops. Specifically, at this moment, I'm speaking of Social Security. The system is crazy. It takes months for it to kick in. The excuse is that they have to investigate each case. I filled out 14 copies of one form. Why? I have no idea. Another form needed to be filled out at least 3 times. This was so ludicrous since they have all the information readily available already. Talk about a waste of time and money. Someone had to send out and then read all those forms.
Then comes the really crazy part. According to SS, one's income will be limited and it is not on a case by case basis. I used to work with Developmentally Disabled adults. Some of them were able to work part-time. And some of them had to be very careful not to go over the maximum allowable earnings. (around $700 per month) I realize that this may seem like a lot of money to some people, but bear in mind they would not just lose the benefit, they would lose health care. Considering many, if not most of the DD population has much greater than normal health care costs, this can be catastrophic. Unbelievable. Is it not in the best interests of everybody to allow the DD population to earn every penny that they could, and then to simply reduce their benefit? It's not as if they will ever be able to enter the normal work world. And, when one loses a job, it is very difficult to find meaningful employment. Not a lot of openings for the DD population.
I guess where this is leading is universal health care. I was opposed to it for as long time, but I have changed my mind. I have heard all the naysayers, but I am willing to bet that not one of them has ever been in a situation where they did not have health care readily available, or with the ability to pay for it. Many people are in the situation where health care is not affordable. The choice then is to do without. Unless one gets very ill. Then they go into the hospital and are treated, usually at great expense, and they don't have to pay anything. This makes no sense. Preventative care is more logical, and I believe much more cost efficient.
Also, when I look at disabled persons, I wonder how many stay on disability because they need the health care? A few hundred extra per month in a low paying job is no trade off for the loss of health care. I also wonder how much of an impact this will have on illegal immigration? Low paying jobs may be more attractive if health care is available to legal citizens. I'm sure folks who are out of work would be off unemployment sooner if they didn't have to worry about health care. It may be worth reconsidering.
Most of my online friends are at work, as are my RW friends.
Daytime TV is boring. I have a new magazine here, but don't feel like reading it.
Isn't even anything I can get in trouble doing. I'm pretty much housebound, so any shenanigans will be my fault. I have no one to blame it on, nor can I claim I wasn't around when it happened.
Million things that have to be done (ok, a million is a hyperbole--can't be more than 359,458 things to do) and I just don't feel like doing them. I had a scare with my blood pressure for a few days, it was ridiculosly high, but that has come down into the normal range. Of course, I used some essential oils to do it, so my home smells like a flower shop. Not exactly a bad thing, and a hell of a lot better than having my head or heart explode, which is definately a bad thing.
I have some classical music playing, which I like a lot. I can't tell the difference between Franz and Mozart, but I don't care. I do like something called the Baroque period, but know so little about it. And I'm not interested enough to even google it.
But what has been on my mind is equity.
Not equality, but equity, that is, everyone getting their fair share.
I don't mean in the Communistic sense, but rather in the way that everyone has a fair chance at the golden ring. Maybe the golden ring isn't the right term, but it will have to suffice for now.
I guess it is on my mind because I know a number of individuals (myself included) who need a hand up. At least temporarily. Yet our system is such that it either gives assistance to individuals that don't need it, or makes those that do need it jump through hoops. Specifically, at this moment, I'm speaking of Social Security. The system is crazy. It takes months for it to kick in. The excuse is that they have to investigate each case. I filled out 14 copies of one form. Why? I have no idea. Another form needed to be filled out at least 3 times. This was so ludicrous since they have all the information readily available already. Talk about a waste of time and money. Someone had to send out and then read all those forms.
Then comes the really crazy part. According to SS, one's income will be limited and it is not on a case by case basis. I used to work with Developmentally Disabled adults. Some of them were able to work part-time. And some of them had to be very careful not to go over the maximum allowable earnings. (around $700 per month) I realize that this may seem like a lot of money to some people, but bear in mind they would not just lose the benefit, they would lose health care. Considering many, if not most of the DD population has much greater than normal health care costs, this can be catastrophic. Unbelievable. Is it not in the best interests of everybody to allow the DD population to earn every penny that they could, and then to simply reduce their benefit? It's not as if they will ever be able to enter the normal work world. And, when one loses a job, it is very difficult to find meaningful employment. Not a lot of openings for the DD population.
I guess where this is leading is universal health care. I was opposed to it for as long time, but I have changed my mind. I have heard all the naysayers, but I am willing to bet that not one of them has ever been in a situation where they did not have health care readily available, or with the ability to pay for it. Many people are in the situation where health care is not affordable. The choice then is to do without. Unless one gets very ill. Then they go into the hospital and are treated, usually at great expense, and they don't have to pay anything. This makes no sense. Preventative care is more logical, and I believe much more cost efficient.
Also, when I look at disabled persons, I wonder how many stay on disability because they need the health care? A few hundred extra per month in a low paying job is no trade off for the loss of health care. I also wonder how much of an impact this will have on illegal immigration? Low paying jobs may be more attractive if health care is available to legal citizens. I'm sure folks who are out of work would be off unemployment sooner if they didn't have to worry about health care. It may be worth reconsidering.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Peeling Onions part 5
Originally, I was going to call this Forgiveness, the Sequel, but it turned into some introspective crap. And it made me shed a tear while writing it...
I was reading A FORGIVENESS TECHNIQUE by Emmet Fox, and once again, I am faced with the realization that I need to forgive those from my past. I found 3 parts of the passage especially helpful:
When you hold resentment against anyone, you are bound to that person by a cosmic link, a real, though mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie to the thing that you hate. The one person perhaps in the whole world whom you most dislike is the very one to whom you are attaching yourself by a hook that is stronger than steel. Is this what you wish? Is this the condition in which you desire to go on living? Remember, you belong to the thing with which you are linked in thought, and at some time or other, if that tie endures, the object of your resentment will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to work further havoc. Do you think that you can afford this? Of course, no one can afford such a thing; and so the way is clear. You must cut all such ties, by a clear and spiritual act of forgiveness. You must loose him and let him go. By forgiveness you set yourself free; you save your soul. And because the law of love works alike for one and all, you help to save their soul too, making it just so much easier for them to become what they ought to be...
People have always made such a bogey of forgiveness because they have been under the erroneous impression that to forgive a person means that you have to compel yourself to like them. Happily this is by no means the case – we are not called upon to like anyone whom we do not find ourselves liking spontaneously, and, indeed, itis quite impossible to like people to order. You can no more LIKE to order than you can hold the winds in your fist, and if your endeavor to coerce yourself into doing so, you will finish by disliking or hating the offender more than ever. People used to think that when someone had hurt them very much, it was their duty, as good Christians, to pump up, as it were, a feeling of liking for him; and since such a thing is utterly impossible, they suffer a great deal of distress, and ended, necessarily, with failure,and a resulting sense of sinfulness. We are not obliged to like anyone; but we are under a binding obligation to love everyone, love, or charity as theBible calls it, meaning a vivid sense of impersonal good will...
Everybody should practice general forgiveness every day as a matter of course. When you say your daily prayers, issue a general amnesty, forgiving everyone who may have injured you in any way, and on no account particularize. Simply say: “I freely forgive everyone.” Then in the course of the day, should the thought the thought of grievance or resentment comeup, bless the offender briefly and dismiss the thought.
This got me to re-thinking my outlook on forgiveness. I have had some crappy things done to me. I often dismissed some of them as a lack of understanding on the part of the transgressor, but realistically, they knew exactly what they were doing in most cases. One who comes immediately to mind is my past supervisor at work. I've wished nothing but disease and pestilence for her. I'm trying a new technique; I am going to forgive her, and whenever I think about all the bad things she did to me, I'll simply say a prayer for her, and dismiss the thought. I don't have to like her. That may have been one of my biggest hang-ups. She is not a very pleasant person, she was actually evil, but by not forgiving her, she continues to make me miserable. And that is just stupid. So, for today, I wish her no ill will. I hope I never encounter her again as long as I live, but if I do, then perhaps she will have changed into a decent human being.
I also need to forgive some family members. I truly believe that, to a degree, they did what they did out of ignorance. It is a pretty lame excuse, but that is not mine to decide. To move on, I simply need to forgive them. For today, it is done.
The most important person to forgive, and indeed the most difficult, is myself. I have made a number of mistakes in my life, and heaven knows I have paid for them in spades.
But it is time to move on. The self-flagellation must come to an end.
Sure, I screwed up, but I will forgive myself for today. I'm especially focusing on the liking myself part. I'm glad I don't have to do that today, because I sure as hell don't. Maybe in time, I'll start to grow on myself and win myself over.
By the way, the entire passage, along with some other very spiritual insights are available at http://emmetfox.wwwhubs.com/foxspks.htm
I was reading A FORGIVENESS TECHNIQUE by Emmet Fox, and once again, I am faced with the realization that I need to forgive those from my past. I found 3 parts of the passage especially helpful:
When you hold resentment against anyone, you are bound to that person by a cosmic link, a real, though mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie to the thing that you hate. The one person perhaps in the whole world whom you most dislike is the very one to whom you are attaching yourself by a hook that is stronger than steel. Is this what you wish? Is this the condition in which you desire to go on living? Remember, you belong to the thing with which you are linked in thought, and at some time or other, if that tie endures, the object of your resentment will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to work further havoc. Do you think that you can afford this? Of course, no one can afford such a thing; and so the way is clear. You must cut all such ties, by a clear and spiritual act of forgiveness. You must loose him and let him go. By forgiveness you set yourself free; you save your soul. And because the law of love works alike for one and all, you help to save their soul too, making it just so much easier for them to become what they ought to be...
People have always made such a bogey of forgiveness because they have been under the erroneous impression that to forgive a person means that you have to compel yourself to like them. Happily this is by no means the case – we are not called upon to like anyone whom we do not find ourselves liking spontaneously, and, indeed, itis quite impossible to like people to order. You can no more LIKE to order than you can hold the winds in your fist, and if your endeavor to coerce yourself into doing so, you will finish by disliking or hating the offender more than ever. People used to think that when someone had hurt them very much, it was their duty, as good Christians, to pump up, as it were, a feeling of liking for him; and since such a thing is utterly impossible, they suffer a great deal of distress, and ended, necessarily, with failure,and a resulting sense of sinfulness. We are not obliged to like anyone; but we are under a binding obligation to love everyone, love, or charity as theBible calls it, meaning a vivid sense of impersonal good will...
Everybody should practice general forgiveness every day as a matter of course. When you say your daily prayers, issue a general amnesty, forgiving everyone who may have injured you in any way, and on no account particularize. Simply say: “I freely forgive everyone.” Then in the course of the day, should the thought the thought of grievance or resentment comeup, bless the offender briefly and dismiss the thought.
This got me to re-thinking my outlook on forgiveness. I have had some crappy things done to me. I often dismissed some of them as a lack of understanding on the part of the transgressor, but realistically, they knew exactly what they were doing in most cases. One who comes immediately to mind is my past supervisor at work. I've wished nothing but disease and pestilence for her. I'm trying a new technique; I am going to forgive her, and whenever I think about all the bad things she did to me, I'll simply say a prayer for her, and dismiss the thought. I don't have to like her. That may have been one of my biggest hang-ups. She is not a very pleasant person, she was actually evil, but by not forgiving her, she continues to make me miserable. And that is just stupid. So, for today, I wish her no ill will. I hope I never encounter her again as long as I live, but if I do, then perhaps she will have changed into a decent human being.
I also need to forgive some family members. I truly believe that, to a degree, they did what they did out of ignorance. It is a pretty lame excuse, but that is not mine to decide. To move on, I simply need to forgive them. For today, it is done.
The most important person to forgive, and indeed the most difficult, is myself. I have made a number of mistakes in my life, and heaven knows I have paid for them in spades.
But it is time to move on. The self-flagellation must come to an end.
Sure, I screwed up, but I will forgive myself for today. I'm especially focusing on the liking myself part. I'm glad I don't have to do that today, because I sure as hell don't. Maybe in time, I'll start to grow on myself and win myself over.
By the way, the entire passage, along with some other very spiritual insights are available at http://emmetfox.wwwhubs.com/foxspks.htm
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Time to update our calendar
Our current calendar is based upon both the ancient Roman's of the first century and Pope Gregory's adjustments from the 1500's.
It's time to update it, making it more in line with our modern day life. A few good options are available.
My first is to make every month 30 days long. What do we do with the extra 5 or, during leap year, 6 extra days? Simple. We add them on to December. I constantly hear that the Holidays are wonderful, but they are so short. Well, now the week between Christmas and New Year's is 12 or 13 days. Plenty of time to see family, or for those who like to use the Holidays to get away, enough time to visit both sets of relatives. And for the traditionalist, that stupid 12 days of Christmas song can be completed during the actual Holiday season. No more of that embarassing situation when one shows up unexpectedely on January 3 with 10 lords a leaping. These extra days may confuse Dick Clark at first, but at this point in his life, I think he basically is confused every day. As long as Ryan Seacrest shows up on December 35th, New Year's Eve will be rocking on schedule.
My second option is to go totally modern, and have a metric calendar.
10 days in a week. Sure, that will seem a little odd at first, but we will be able to adjust. Back when Pope Gregory switched over to the new calendar in the late 16th century, he just advanced the calendar forward almost 2 weeks in one day. Nothing catastrophic happened. To have these metric calendars, I have to eliminate 2 months and alter a third. Not really that hard to do. First, I'll eliminate September. That month traditionally is annoying anyway. Kids hate it because it is back to school month. Adults hate it because it symbolizes the end of the lazy days of summer. So, September is gone. April only has one pseudo-holiday, April Fools Day. This kind of a stupid day anyway, so no worries that we are losing a tradition that anyone really likes. Plus, April Fools day pisses me off for personal reasons. And April is a messed up month anyway. It's usually not that warm, and in the Northeast, we can have a surprise snowstorm. April is out of here.
For our short 5 day month, I propose we keep February. February is cold and dreary, so it is perfect that it be a short month. And it is chock full of Holidays like Washington's and Lincoln's Birthdays, Groundhog's Day, and Valentine's Day. For all intents and purposes, everyone can take off the entire month of February.
We have to add a few days into the week, though.
Since everybody really likes Fridays, we should have 2 of them.
What to name the other two?
One could simply be named Personalday, and it is part of the 4 day weekend. We all love personal days. And who doesn't appreciate it when a personal day is part of a long weekend?
I propose we sell the naming rights to the other one. It could change every few years. This year, it may be Viagraday, next year it could be Geicoday.
So here is my proposed week: Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Wednesday, Thursday, Traditional Friday, Personalday, Saturday, Viagraday, Sunday.
It works for me.
It's time to update it, making it more in line with our modern day life. A few good options are available.
My first is to make every month 30 days long. What do we do with the extra 5 or, during leap year, 6 extra days? Simple. We add them on to December. I constantly hear that the Holidays are wonderful, but they are so short. Well, now the week between Christmas and New Year's is 12 or 13 days. Plenty of time to see family, or for those who like to use the Holidays to get away, enough time to visit both sets of relatives. And for the traditionalist, that stupid 12 days of Christmas song can be completed during the actual Holiday season. No more of that embarassing situation when one shows up unexpectedely on January 3 with 10 lords a leaping. These extra days may confuse Dick Clark at first, but at this point in his life, I think he basically is confused every day. As long as Ryan Seacrest shows up on December 35th, New Year's Eve will be rocking on schedule.
My second option is to go totally modern, and have a metric calendar.
10 days in a week. Sure, that will seem a little odd at first, but we will be able to adjust. Back when Pope Gregory switched over to the new calendar in the late 16th century, he just advanced the calendar forward almost 2 weeks in one day. Nothing catastrophic happened. To have these metric calendars, I have to eliminate 2 months and alter a third. Not really that hard to do. First, I'll eliminate September. That month traditionally is annoying anyway. Kids hate it because it is back to school month. Adults hate it because it symbolizes the end of the lazy days of summer. So, September is gone. April only has one pseudo-holiday, April Fools Day. This kind of a stupid day anyway, so no worries that we are losing a tradition that anyone really likes. Plus, April Fools day pisses me off for personal reasons. And April is a messed up month anyway. It's usually not that warm, and in the Northeast, we can have a surprise snowstorm. April is out of here.
For our short 5 day month, I propose we keep February. February is cold and dreary, so it is perfect that it be a short month. And it is chock full of Holidays like Washington's and Lincoln's Birthdays, Groundhog's Day, and Valentine's Day. For all intents and purposes, everyone can take off the entire month of February.
We have to add a few days into the week, though.
Since everybody really likes Fridays, we should have 2 of them.
What to name the other two?
One could simply be named Personalday, and it is part of the 4 day weekend. We all love personal days. And who doesn't appreciate it when a personal day is part of a long weekend?
I propose we sell the naming rights to the other one. It could change every few years. This year, it may be Viagraday, next year it could be Geicoday.
So here is my proposed week: Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Wednesday, Thursday, Traditional Friday, Personalday, Saturday, Viagraday, Sunday.
It works for me.
Monday, February 26, 2007
24-- A TV Sherpa's eye view
Tonight is another big episode of 24. I don't usually examine non-cable TV, but I am just so jazzed about 24. I'm not sure what year (season, day?) it is on (maybe the 4th?) and it may seem old hat. Jack saves the world. Then Jack saves the world again, then, next season, Jack saves the world. What is he going to do this year? Early guess is that he is going to save the world somehow. And, every year he either gets killed, or comes close to it. He has fought terrorists, the Chinese government, drug runners, and even more terrorists funded by the Russian Communists. He has been attacked by various assassins and hit squads, yet Jack always manages to escape. I don't know how they do it, but the writers manage to keep the show exciting for me. Just when I think nothing new can happen, bam! a whole new direction opens up. Jack's family, his brother and father, are now part of the plot. And Jack opened up a fresh can of whoopass on his brother to get him to talk. Jack even killed one of his best friends during one episode. Jack can fly helicopters and planes, and he is skilled in every weapon along with the ability to disarm every bomb he has ever encountered. Ok, once he had a dirty bomb that he couldn't disarm, so he took it on a small plane and was willing to sacrifice himself by flying into an unpopulated area and exploding it so now one else got hurt. Jack has seen his wife killed, and any women who come into his life are quickly made into targets, so he is a loner.Jack has neither eaten nor gone to the bathroom in any 24 hour period! That is a man focused on his mission.When he calls the President, he gets right through. So far, 24 has assassinated one president and is preparing to off another. They have impeached and removed from office a third president. Intrigue and dirty dealing all around all the way up to the White House and beyond.
Jack has been an enemy of the state, a captive of the Chinese government, and a hero to us all.24 is one of my favorite shows of all time. It is exciting and unusually unpredicatable.I rate it 9.837
Sunday, February 25, 2007
World Championship Fishing Shows
I just typed what was probably the most fantastic blog entry ever. I fully expected it to result in a 3 book deal, an appearance on Letterman, and possibly an HBO movie. Unfortunately, I hit some stupid button on my computer, and it disappearred into wherever that stuff goes. Sort of the cyber ether, I guess. Instead of having the opportunity to read what would have been a truly classic blog post, an actual life-altering experience, I'm left with this claptrap for your perusal.
I will now don my garb as the TV Sherpa, and proceed:
Usually, fishing shows are pretty low rated with me. They are perfect for when I wake up early Sunday morning and the only other choices are either infommercials or preachers. I do like some preachers like Joel Osteen and pastor Ted. Most of the rest seem to be too phoney and always looking for cash. And infommercials? How many times do I need to learn about some ladder? I get it. I'm only 6 feet tall, can probably reach to about 8 feet, and sometimes I need to get to places higher than that. Do I need a half-hour show to explain the advantages of such a tool?
As stated previously, most fishing shows are basically dreck. In almost any other time slot, I would only view them during commercials while watching a much better show. But Sunday mornings, they are basically the only show in town. Today, however was the undisputed king of all fishing shows. It is the Citgo Bassmasters Tournament, or some such equally pompous title. I am really into this.
I have my favorite fisherman, Mike Iaconelli (Ike.) Ike is just a maniac, and yes, he is an Italian-American from Jersey. Extreme bass fishing seems to be an oxymoron, but Ike does kick it up to notches unknown in bass fishing. I've seen him screaming at fish, other fisherman, and just in general. I wasn't sure why, but they showed a clip of him jumping in the water after a fish. It's just Ike being Ike, I guess.
The weird part of me enjoying fishing shows is that I don't like fishing. I don't like fish or to eat fish. I don't like the outdoors. I don't like looking at guys butt cracks while they are fishing.
This must be one of the many things that make me the bizarre dude that I am.
I rate the Citgo Tournament 4.
I will now don my garb as the TV Sherpa, and proceed:
Usually, fishing shows are pretty low rated with me. They are perfect for when I wake up early Sunday morning and the only other choices are either infommercials or preachers. I do like some preachers like Joel Osteen and pastor Ted. Most of the rest seem to be too phoney and always looking for cash. And infommercials? How many times do I need to learn about some ladder? I get it. I'm only 6 feet tall, can probably reach to about 8 feet, and sometimes I need to get to places higher than that. Do I need a half-hour show to explain the advantages of such a tool?
As stated previously, most fishing shows are basically dreck. In almost any other time slot, I would only view them during commercials while watching a much better show. But Sunday mornings, they are basically the only show in town. Today, however was the undisputed king of all fishing shows. It is the Citgo Bassmasters Tournament, or some such equally pompous title. I am really into this.
I have my favorite fisherman, Mike Iaconelli (Ike.) Ike is just a maniac, and yes, he is an Italian-American from Jersey. Extreme bass fishing seems to be an oxymoron, but Ike does kick it up to notches unknown in bass fishing. I've seen him screaming at fish, other fisherman, and just in general. I wasn't sure why, but they showed a clip of him jumping in the water after a fish. It's just Ike being Ike, I guess.
The weird part of me enjoying fishing shows is that I don't like fishing. I don't like fish or to eat fish. I don't like the outdoors. I don't like looking at guys butt cracks while they are fishing.
This must be one of the many things that make me the bizarre dude that I am.
I rate the Citgo Tournament 4.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Peeling Onions Part 4
In a continuing series of crap that comprises my inner most being, I thought I would write about why I am so angry. Yeah, I know nearly everything that has happened in my life has turned me into a bitter, middle-aged guy, but I thought I would explore it a little deeper today.
I was looking at a picture of me as a kid. I was maybe 4 in the photo, and I had a look that sort of was happy and hopeful.
What the hell happened?
Was there one event that turned me from a happy kid, looking to a future filled with promise into a cranky coot just hanging around and waiting to die? I did have the one bad summer as previously described, but it takes more than one bad summer to create a train wreck of a life.
No, it wasn't one event, but instead it was a series of things that turned me into the mess that is banging away on the keyboard today. I know that self-esteem is one of the buzzwords when one talks of raising children. It seems that so many parents go the other way. Johnny poops, and it becomes just short of a Mardi Gras festival.
I sure didn't grow up in this environment. Looking back on it, it appears that I disappointed my parents on a regular basis. At least that is the way they acted. If I took a test and got a 99, well, why didn't I work a bit harder and get that 100? If my report card was 6 A's and a B, well, what the hell happened? Your cousin got all A's.
When I graduated from grammar school, I was 2nd in the class of about 30. No too shabby. WRONG. I was told that I embarassed the family. How could I do such a thing. As I type this, it hurts again. Thinking about it, I should have come to the realization that my parents were jerks at times, and this was one of those times.
Instead, I did something different. In my young mind, I made a decision. I wasn't even going to try any more. I was going to do just enough to get by. Since I went to a private school that was very highly rated, and very competitive, I was going to aim for a B. It was second best, and good enough. I knew that most likely, I couldn't be first (250 or so guys in my class) so I decided, hell with it. I would do enough to make it look like I was trying, but not so much that I would aim for the top and fail. Everybody accepted that I was just so-so, I got my B's and all was well. I didn't really have to work hard to get the B's so that was fine with me, too. No hard work, and no parental guilt. A win-win situation all around.
This is kind of funny. I was not one of the top students, and we all took the SAT's. The teacher went around the room and everyone said their score. I was in the slacker group, but I killed on the SAT test. It was around 1200 total (back then, this was definately in the elite catagory.)
One of the guys in my class got so pissed. He said that I was lying, because there was no way I scored higher than him. I told him I guess I was just smarter than him. He didn't like that at all. But it did make me laugh. The guy started getting angry, so the teacher made me show him my test scores (even he didn't believe it.)
Anyway, most of the guys were going to take it again, so I did too. They got even more pissed because while nearly everyone's scores went up, mine went up even more. I thought the guy's head was going to explode, then. His final words to me were along the lines that I must be a good guesser because I was obviously his intellectual inferior. Or did he say I was a friggin moron? I don't remember exactly.
Back to the slacker period in my life. Because I was so afraid of failure (failure being anything but the best) it made me not try. I was a perfectionist. This is kind of funny, but I have since learned that perfectionists are among the least perfect people. Rather than fail (that is, not be perfect) we don't even try. When I do something, it is usually perfect (at least in my demented mind) or I don't do it at all. Talk about a crippling feeling. This is worse than any of the crippling diseases I have since been afflicted with. In fact, looking back on the diseases, most are lifestyle ones. And because I couldn't eat or exercise perfectly, I didn't do it. Good enough just was not an option.
I'm so beat from writing this, that for today, I'll settle for "good enough."
Progress, not perfection.
I was looking at a picture of me as a kid. I was maybe 4 in the photo, and I had a look that sort of was happy and hopeful.
What the hell happened?
Was there one event that turned me from a happy kid, looking to a future filled with promise into a cranky coot just hanging around and waiting to die? I did have the one bad summer as previously described, but it takes more than one bad summer to create a train wreck of a life.
No, it wasn't one event, but instead it was a series of things that turned me into the mess that is banging away on the keyboard today. I know that self-esteem is one of the buzzwords when one talks of raising children. It seems that so many parents go the other way. Johnny poops, and it becomes just short of a Mardi Gras festival.
I sure didn't grow up in this environment. Looking back on it, it appears that I disappointed my parents on a regular basis. At least that is the way they acted. If I took a test and got a 99, well, why didn't I work a bit harder and get that 100? If my report card was 6 A's and a B, well, what the hell happened? Your cousin got all A's.
When I graduated from grammar school, I was 2nd in the class of about 30. No too shabby. WRONG. I was told that I embarassed the family. How could I do such a thing. As I type this, it hurts again. Thinking about it, I should have come to the realization that my parents were jerks at times, and this was one of those times.
Instead, I did something different. In my young mind, I made a decision. I wasn't even going to try any more. I was going to do just enough to get by. Since I went to a private school that was very highly rated, and very competitive, I was going to aim for a B. It was second best, and good enough. I knew that most likely, I couldn't be first (250 or so guys in my class) so I decided, hell with it. I would do enough to make it look like I was trying, but not so much that I would aim for the top and fail. Everybody accepted that I was just so-so, I got my B's and all was well. I didn't really have to work hard to get the B's so that was fine with me, too. No hard work, and no parental guilt. A win-win situation all around.
This is kind of funny. I was not one of the top students, and we all took the SAT's. The teacher went around the room and everyone said their score. I was in the slacker group, but I killed on the SAT test. It was around 1200 total (back then, this was definately in the elite catagory.)
One of the guys in my class got so pissed. He said that I was lying, because there was no way I scored higher than him. I told him I guess I was just smarter than him. He didn't like that at all. But it did make me laugh. The guy started getting angry, so the teacher made me show him my test scores (even he didn't believe it.)
Anyway, most of the guys were going to take it again, so I did too. They got even more pissed because while nearly everyone's scores went up, mine went up even more. I thought the guy's head was going to explode, then. His final words to me were along the lines that I must be a good guesser because I was obviously his intellectual inferior. Or did he say I was a friggin moron? I don't remember exactly.
Back to the slacker period in my life. Because I was so afraid of failure (failure being anything but the best) it made me not try. I was a perfectionist. This is kind of funny, but I have since learned that perfectionists are among the least perfect people. Rather than fail (that is, not be perfect) we don't even try. When I do something, it is usually perfect (at least in my demented mind) or I don't do it at all. Talk about a crippling feeling. This is worse than any of the crippling diseases I have since been afflicted with. In fact, looking back on the diseases, most are lifestyle ones. And because I couldn't eat or exercise perfectly, I didn't do it. Good enough just was not an option.
I'm so beat from writing this, that for today, I'll settle for "good enough."
Progress, not perfection.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I'm So Bored
While I am recovering from last month's operation, I have gotten very little done. Ok, I joined MySpace, and I have been blogging. Not exactly making me eligible for a lifetime achievement award. I also hang out at Nedthetoothpick.com. Again, it is fun, but I'm getting pretty bored with that, too.
Lately, I have been thinking about my two lives. Or would it be lifes? Either way, I have a real life (RL or RW depending on which nomenclature one prefers) and a cyber life. Both are equally real to me. And that may or may not be a problem depending on what particular point of view one takes. I know of some people who refer to cyber friends as "pretend" friends. If one can't touch them or see them, then they don't exist. That is not exactly true, because I believe in a lot of things I can't see or feel. I believe in oxygen, and I believe in qualities such as love and hatred. Ok, cyber friends are real friends. I can count on them to cheer me up, or help me through rough times. Anything a RL friend can do, almost, a cyber friend can.
So where is this essayette going?
I have no idea. I'm just so friggin bored. I'm just thinking of concepts. One that really interests me is reality. Deepak Chopra said that we each have our own reality. My reality, that is, the way I view things is based solely upon my personal values, my education, my history, and of course, my concept of things as they are and should be. Maybe I've been listening to a lot of 70's music lately. That has me thinking in such conceptual fashion. Maybe I'm just so damned bored that nothing is interesting to me. I don't even feel like taking on the mantle of TV sherpa today. And, most surprising of all, I have not turned on the TV other than to watch the news this morning.
I feel like I want to make a major change in my life. It is frustrating because I couldn't if I wanted to do so. Add to that I have no idea what I even want to do, and the frustration increases exponentially. I don't know how to get to where I want to go, because I have no idea where I even want to go. It's tough to draw a map when one doesn't know the destination. I spoke to someone on the phone today, and he told me his goals. And I was so jealous. I would love to have a goal. Yeah, I know, getting healthy is a great goal for me. Losing weight would be another. But these are not satisfying to me. I don't even know why or why not. I just know that they don't do it for me. Not today.
I'd like to think that if I just took a break from everything, I could come back refreshed. But how can I take a break from doing nothing?
My head hurts as my blood pressure is hitting record highs. I have no idea why. I fully expect my brain to explode and to have blood spurt out of my ears. Cool visual, but it would probably hurt a lot.
Oh well, back to my incredibly boring existence. *heavy sigh*
Lately, I have been thinking about my two lives. Or would it be lifes? Either way, I have a real life (RL or RW depending on which nomenclature one prefers) and a cyber life. Both are equally real to me. And that may or may not be a problem depending on what particular point of view one takes. I know of some people who refer to cyber friends as "pretend" friends. If one can't touch them or see them, then they don't exist. That is not exactly true, because I believe in a lot of things I can't see or feel. I believe in oxygen, and I believe in qualities such as love and hatred. Ok, cyber friends are real friends. I can count on them to cheer me up, or help me through rough times. Anything a RL friend can do, almost, a cyber friend can.
So where is this essayette going?
I have no idea. I'm just so friggin bored. I'm just thinking of concepts. One that really interests me is reality. Deepak Chopra said that we each have our own reality. My reality, that is, the way I view things is based solely upon my personal values, my education, my history, and of course, my concept of things as they are and should be. Maybe I've been listening to a lot of 70's music lately. That has me thinking in such conceptual fashion. Maybe I'm just so damned bored that nothing is interesting to me. I don't even feel like taking on the mantle of TV sherpa today. And, most surprising of all, I have not turned on the TV other than to watch the news this morning.
I feel like I want to make a major change in my life. It is frustrating because I couldn't if I wanted to do so. Add to that I have no idea what I even want to do, and the frustration increases exponentially. I don't know how to get to where I want to go, because I have no idea where I even want to go. It's tough to draw a map when one doesn't know the destination. I spoke to someone on the phone today, and he told me his goals. And I was so jealous. I would love to have a goal. Yeah, I know, getting healthy is a great goal for me. Losing weight would be another. But these are not satisfying to me. I don't even know why or why not. I just know that they don't do it for me. Not today.
I'd like to think that if I just took a break from everything, I could come back refreshed. But how can I take a break from doing nothing?
My head hurts as my blood pressure is hitting record highs. I have no idea why. I fully expect my brain to explode and to have blood spurt out of my ears. Cool visual, but it would probably hurt a lot.
Oh well, back to my incredibly boring existence. *heavy sigh*
Monday, February 19, 2007
I love Commercials, Too
I've mentioned in the past that I do like commercials. Part of it may be due to my short attention span. But I like to think part of it also is because I can appreciate the creativity that goes into a 30 or 60 second spot, an entertainment vignette, if you will.
I saw a commercial this morning that had what may be the funniest tagline ever. It was for a home pregnancy test, and the tag was, and I am paraphasing, "The most advanced equipment that you can pee on." I may have to see this commercial again to get the tag exact, but they definately mentioned "pee on." That is pretty darn funny to me.
I also really enjoy the Geico commercials with the cavemen. The Gecko is a good spokesman, but the cavemen really crack me up. I wonder if any other company ever used such a diverse advertising campaign running concurrently? Usually, one ends and another begins, but not with Geico. I can see cavemen, and in the next commercial, a gecko. The newest caveman commercial has them at a party. They discuss why one has gone to Geico and therefore shows no loyalty to his fellow cavemen. Pretty funny. I also like that the cavemen are, for lack of a better term, metrosexuals.
My favorite commercial right now, though, may be the WaMu bank ones. The series uses a "Bankers Pen," a think tank as it were of bankers. They travel, well, in a pen as a group. They may all be in the hospital, or at a pool, or wherever. They are all in the pen, though. The latest has them on top of a building threatening mass suicide unless WaMu eliminates their free checking. A funny concept, and the little commercials are well written.
I'll may be back later.
I have a lot of TV to watch today.
I saw a commercial this morning that had what may be the funniest tagline ever. It was for a home pregnancy test, and the tag was, and I am paraphasing, "The most advanced equipment that you can pee on." I may have to see this commercial again to get the tag exact, but they definately mentioned "pee on." That is pretty darn funny to me.
I also really enjoy the Geico commercials with the cavemen. The Gecko is a good spokesman, but the cavemen really crack me up. I wonder if any other company ever used such a diverse advertising campaign running concurrently? Usually, one ends and another begins, but not with Geico. I can see cavemen, and in the next commercial, a gecko. The newest caveman commercial has them at a party. They discuss why one has gone to Geico and therefore shows no loyalty to his fellow cavemen. Pretty funny. I also like that the cavemen are, for lack of a better term, metrosexuals.
My favorite commercial right now, though, may be the WaMu bank ones. The series uses a "Bankers Pen," a think tank as it were of bankers. They travel, well, in a pen as a group. They may all be in the hospital, or at a pool, or wherever. They are all in the pen, though. The latest has them on top of a building threatening mass suicide unless WaMu eliminates their free checking. A funny concept, and the little commercials are well written.
I'll may be back later.
I have a lot of TV to watch today.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Spring Training Report
While winter continues to freeze pipes in Dowtown New Jersey, my New York Yankees are in sunny Florida preparing to take on the pretenders to the throne that is rightfully theirs.
I just read some news about our knights in pinstripes, and I feel really good about the upcoming season.
Carl Pavano, who has not pitched since June 2005, is finally looking to make his triumphant return to the mound. According to coach Ron Guidry (who I met a few years ago) "He's in real good shape, he's in a real good frame of mind, and that's a plus." Pavano is throwing his slider, and looks to be on the track to finally taking his place in the rotation.
meanwhile, Kei Igawa is experiencing a little bit of culture shock. New York isn't exactly like Japan. But he has a good attitude and is learning English so he can communicate easily with his teammates.
Moose is looking good. He is in the twilight of his career, but he wants to go out with a winning team, and really wants to get his ring this year, along with a 20 win season. He has come close a few times, notching 19 with the Birds twice and 18 with the Bombers twice. With the lineup he has behind him this year, he has a chance, He just has to stay healthy.
But there is some bad news on the front. Bernie is not in camp. And, the team is offering a minor league contract. What the hell is up with that? They spend money like drunken sailors, and here, one of the true gentlemen in the game, a guy who ranks as one of the greatest Yankees of all-time, they are going the cheap route. It makes no sense. The guy is a fan favorite. He needs to end his career where he started, with the Yankees.
For most of his career he has been the number 2 centerfielder in the AL, just a few clicks behind Junior. Bernie may be on the fence as far as the HoF, but he is pretty close.
A .297 lifetime average, nearly 300 homeruns, and 450 doubles to go along with his 4 rings puts Bernie in elite company. It's time for George to step in and pay the man.
I just read some news about our knights in pinstripes, and I feel really good about the upcoming season.
Carl Pavano, who has not pitched since June 2005, is finally looking to make his triumphant return to the mound. According to coach Ron Guidry (who I met a few years ago) "He's in real good shape, he's in a real good frame of mind, and that's a plus." Pavano is throwing his slider, and looks to be on the track to finally taking his place in the rotation.
meanwhile, Kei Igawa is experiencing a little bit of culture shock. New York isn't exactly like Japan. But he has a good attitude and is learning English so he can communicate easily with his teammates.
Moose is looking good. He is in the twilight of his career, but he wants to go out with a winning team, and really wants to get his ring this year, along with a 20 win season. He has come close a few times, notching 19 with the Birds twice and 18 with the Bombers twice. With the lineup he has behind him this year, he has a chance, He just has to stay healthy.
But there is some bad news on the front. Bernie is not in camp. And, the team is offering a minor league contract. What the hell is up with that? They spend money like drunken sailors, and here, one of the true gentlemen in the game, a guy who ranks as one of the greatest Yankees of all-time, they are going the cheap route. It makes no sense. The guy is a fan favorite. He needs to end his career where he started, with the Yankees.
For most of his career he has been the number 2 centerfielder in the AL, just a few clicks behind Junior. Bernie may be on the fence as far as the HoF, but he is pretty close.
A .297 lifetime average, nearly 300 homeruns, and 450 doubles to go along with his 4 rings puts Bernie in elite company. It's time for George to step in and pay the man.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I'm in a Weird Mood Today
I just can't seem to get focused. My mind is racing like I'm on a mental Autobahn and I'm doing about 175 MPH. And the road is all turns.
Focus, big guy, focus. I don't want to turn this entry into a Larry King-like series of non-sequiters. Ok, who have I talked to lately that gave me tremendous insight?
I exchanged e-mails yesterday with a friend who is a fan of my rambling thoughts and all around superfluous scribblings. She said that a lot of what I have written has mirrored much of her life. Not that she was hospitalized and getting wedgies, but the more serious stuff. This made me really feel good. Not that she personally also had to endure pain and anguish, but that others do. Sometimes it is easy to get lost in my personal "stuff" so much so that I often fail to realize that it is a big world, and many are going through trials and tribulations just as I am. Maybe they don't get the medical wedgies, but they do have other mountains to climb. While some mountains may be physical, and others mental, they can all be just as steep.
If I think that I can't do something, then I can't do it.
Yesterday, I was watching Oprah (my testosterone levels have gone down a bit with age) and her guest said something profound. He said that trying is failure with dignity. If I say I'll try to do something, and fail, it's ok, because I at least tried. And the focus in on the positive in that a failure who didn't try is worse than one who did.
But the results are the same.
So, rather than take the try and fail route, I guess I have to take the try and then try again method. A positive mental outlook usually pisses me off, so this may be more difficult than I thought.
Focus, big guy, focus. I don't want to turn this entry into a Larry King-like series of non-sequiters. Ok, who have I talked to lately that gave me tremendous insight?
I exchanged e-mails yesterday with a friend who is a fan of my rambling thoughts and all around superfluous scribblings. She said that a lot of what I have written has mirrored much of her life. Not that she was hospitalized and getting wedgies, but the more serious stuff. This made me really feel good. Not that she personally also had to endure pain and anguish, but that others do. Sometimes it is easy to get lost in my personal "stuff" so much so that I often fail to realize that it is a big world, and many are going through trials and tribulations just as I am. Maybe they don't get the medical wedgies, but they do have other mountains to climb. While some mountains may be physical, and others mental, they can all be just as steep.
If I think that I can't do something, then I can't do it.
Yesterday, I was watching Oprah (my testosterone levels have gone down a bit with age) and her guest said something profound. He said that trying is failure with dignity. If I say I'll try to do something, and fail, it's ok, because I at least tried. And the focus in on the positive in that a failure who didn't try is worse than one who did.
But the results are the same.
So, rather than take the try and fail route, I guess I have to take the try and then try again method. A positive mental outlook usually pisses me off, so this may be more difficult than I thought.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Peeling Onions Part 3
I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking to friends lately about that bad summer. It all comes down to support. I know that so many of us, particularly men, have it deeply ingrained that we are independent and strong. When I was younger, I was pretty strong physically, and felt that I needed to be so mentally as well. I had never been given support as a child, and never realized it was missing. That make many others strong and independent. It made me weak and afraid of failure. I guess I do usually do the opposite of what I should. One buddy of mine tells me I should use the Costanza method. Remember George from Seinfeld? As soon as he started doing the opposite of what he thought he should do, things went his way.
Whatever I think, just do the opposite. Not such a bad idea, considering how things usually work out for me.
Back to that bad summer. I was getting ready to enter college and I was scared. I had absolutely no reason to fear the academics because I was pretty smart, if I do say so myself. But the fear was put in me by my father. I was warned that I better not fail. I would make him look bad, and that was punishable by, who knows, maybe death, dismemberment, castration? I sure as hell did not want to find out. I chose my career path based upon one high school class elective. I realized that I was going to hate that career. So, I was stuck. I had to either follow through with something that would make me miserable (and be a failure) or to drop out. I chose the path of least resistance. And from that point onward, my life continued to go out of control. I had trouble having healthy relationships with the opposite sex because I was so messed up myself. I really can't get into that aspect of my life today, because it is too overwhelming. Just one part of the onion that ain't getting peeled for a while.
Another friend (bear in mind, anyone who talks to me eventually may wind up in this blog, albeit anonymously) recently told me that she was surprised at the courage I have to put this crap out here. I don't know if it courage or not. I just figure my life is such a train wreck, it can't get any worse. And keeping it bottled up is just making me more mentally sick. So, basically, everyone reading this is providing me therapuetic counseling. I feel like I owe you all something. My thanks is all you'll get, though.
Unless you take Paypal.
Whatever I think, just do the opposite. Not such a bad idea, considering how things usually work out for me.
Back to that bad summer. I was getting ready to enter college and I was scared. I had absolutely no reason to fear the academics because I was pretty smart, if I do say so myself. But the fear was put in me by my father. I was warned that I better not fail. I would make him look bad, and that was punishable by, who knows, maybe death, dismemberment, castration? I sure as hell did not want to find out. I chose my career path based upon one high school class elective. I realized that I was going to hate that career. So, I was stuck. I had to either follow through with something that would make me miserable (and be a failure) or to drop out. I chose the path of least resistance. And from that point onward, my life continued to go out of control. I had trouble having healthy relationships with the opposite sex because I was so messed up myself. I really can't get into that aspect of my life today, because it is too overwhelming. Just one part of the onion that ain't getting peeled for a while.
Another friend (bear in mind, anyone who talks to me eventually may wind up in this blog, albeit anonymously) recently told me that she was surprised at the courage I have to put this crap out here. I don't know if it courage or not. I just figure my life is such a train wreck, it can't get any worse. And keeping it bottled up is just making me more mentally sick. So, basically, everyone reading this is providing me therapuetic counseling. I feel like I owe you all something. My thanks is all you'll get, though.
Unless you take Paypal.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I just need to write
I'm not sure why, but some days I just need to write. I don't always know what is going to come out. Sometimes I start with an agenda, sometimes not. I may just talk to a friend, or have myself stimulated in some other way (that sounds dirty, but it isn't.) I just like to write.
I rarely go to the movies. I have a very short attention span, and I really have a difficult time focusing for 90-120 minutes. If a movie is really, really interesting to me, I can get through it, but I have fallen asleep in theaters many times. When I watch movies at home, I usually fall asleep, too, but at least it doesn't cost 10 bucks. That's why when I discuss a movie with someone, I either don't know how they ended, or I missed a big part of the plot. If I like a movie, I watch it numerous times, and I eventually do get to see every part.
One exception, of course are really funny comedies. Two from last year, which are actually the only two movies I have seen in a theater in the last few years, were Borat and Clerks 2 (twice.) A good friend of mine loaned me his DVD player and I will return it to him when I can walk well enough. But, in the meantime, I am enjoying watching Clerks and Clerks 2 about once a week each. Is there such a thing as the "Tao of Silent Bob?"
I'm more a sitcom guy. Give me 22 minutes of solid entertainment in a 30 minute block, and I'm one happy dude. I like the commercial breaks. They give me a chance to, I don't know exactly what I do, but I like the little break. And a well crafted commercial, is like a bonus. It is like an extra bit of entertainment, kind of like when you get that toy with your Happy Meal. I even look forward to certain ones. Right now, the Taco Bell lions crack me up. And, of course, the Geico Cave Men are hysterical, even if they have been on a few times too many. One series of commercials that irritate me are the cable ones. Ok, I'm watching cable TV, do I really need a commercial for cable TV while I'm using the product? And worse, I'm paying to watch TV, which means I'm paying to watch a commercial encouraging me to kepp paying to watch the commercial?
By the way, Reno 911, one of my favorite shows, is now a movie. I doubt I'll go to see it, even though it looks really funny. It will probably be on some movie channel in less than a year, so I can wait it out. It takes a lot for me to get my butt out to a movie.
I rarely go to the movies. I have a very short attention span, and I really have a difficult time focusing for 90-120 minutes. If a movie is really, really interesting to me, I can get through it, but I have fallen asleep in theaters many times. When I watch movies at home, I usually fall asleep, too, but at least it doesn't cost 10 bucks. That's why when I discuss a movie with someone, I either don't know how they ended, or I missed a big part of the plot. If I like a movie, I watch it numerous times, and I eventually do get to see every part.
One exception, of course are really funny comedies. Two from last year, which are actually the only two movies I have seen in a theater in the last few years, were Borat and Clerks 2 (twice.) A good friend of mine loaned me his DVD player and I will return it to him when I can walk well enough. But, in the meantime, I am enjoying watching Clerks and Clerks 2 about once a week each. Is there such a thing as the "Tao of Silent Bob?"
I'm more a sitcom guy. Give me 22 minutes of solid entertainment in a 30 minute block, and I'm one happy dude. I like the commercial breaks. They give me a chance to, I don't know exactly what I do, but I like the little break. And a well crafted commercial, is like a bonus. It is like an extra bit of entertainment, kind of like when you get that toy with your Happy Meal. I even look forward to certain ones. Right now, the Taco Bell lions crack me up. And, of course, the Geico Cave Men are hysterical, even if they have been on a few times too many. One series of commercials that irritate me are the cable ones. Ok, I'm watching cable TV, do I really need a commercial for cable TV while I'm using the product? And worse, I'm paying to watch TV, which means I'm paying to watch a commercial encouraging me to kepp paying to watch the commercial?
By the way, Reno 911, one of my favorite shows, is now a movie. I doubt I'll go to see it, even though it looks really funny. It will probably be on some movie channel in less than a year, so I can wait it out. It takes a lot for me to get my butt out to a movie.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Peeling Onions, part 2
When I get depressed, I do one of two things; I either hide out and ignore everything, or I write like a man possessed. Right now, I'm in the writing phase. This is actually good, because that usually gets me out of my funk.
It's funny how I'll see something and that will just inspire me to start writing. I was on my favorite chatboard, and one thread asked "If You Could Change One Thing..." and I thought, Holy Friggin crap!.-- how can I just change one thing? I've made so many wrong turns in my life that one would think that by now, I would be going in the right direction. Even 3 left turns make a right, so how many wrong turns do I have to make?
And what was that one wrong turn I made that first set me on the path to disaster? I don't know why it is important, but I needed to know. I spent some time in therapy, and even more in self-help groups, and I still never determined what the hell happened.
I have joked with friends about "One Bad Summer" as the point that set me on the downslide. It really is true. I was in pretty good shape physically. I wasn't an athlete, but I was far from the doughy lump of flesh that I am today. I could bench a few hundred pounds, and play a decent game of tennis. I had an ok summer job, and looked forward to the future.
And then it happened. That bad summer. I don't even know how or why, but I became totally overwhelmed with everything. For the first time in my life, I was afraid. I had never experienced fear before.
I used to drive my car like a maniac. The speed limit on my street was 25, and I routinely drove 100 MPH on it late at night. I had no fear of an accident.
I worked late at night in neighborhoods where I was taking my life into my hands. Not afraid. I just did it.
I had some jerk stalk me along with his friends with malicious intentions. Nope, didn't bother me. In fact, I actually went after him one day.
So, what was this terrible fear?
I was afraid of failure. I was going into college, and I was afraid that I couldn't cut it. I had nothing to base this on, as I did ok in a very competitive high school, and scored very well on the SAT's. In fact, I had succeeded at nearly everything I ever tried. Apparently, all the crap that had been dumped on me all my life just welled up and poured out as fear.
My father was about the least supportive person I ever could imagine, and yet, I had this inate desire to please him. The one person I should have ignored, I gave so much power to. And here I am, these so many years later, continuing to do so.
I'm not sure how to get out of this, but I do feel energized that now, I can see where I made a wrong turn (followed by dozens of others.) It is said that if a man has knowledge, he has power. I believe that I now have the power to make changes. I just hope that I have the courage and conviction to follow through.
It's funny how I'll see something and that will just inspire me to start writing. I was on my favorite chatboard, and one thread asked "If You Could Change One Thing..." and I thought, Holy Friggin crap!.-- how can I just change one thing? I've made so many wrong turns in my life that one would think that by now, I would be going in the right direction. Even 3 left turns make a right, so how many wrong turns do I have to make?
And what was that one wrong turn I made that first set me on the path to disaster? I don't know why it is important, but I needed to know. I spent some time in therapy, and even more in self-help groups, and I still never determined what the hell happened.
I have joked with friends about "One Bad Summer" as the point that set me on the downslide. It really is true. I was in pretty good shape physically. I wasn't an athlete, but I was far from the doughy lump of flesh that I am today. I could bench a few hundred pounds, and play a decent game of tennis. I had an ok summer job, and looked forward to the future.
And then it happened. That bad summer. I don't even know how or why, but I became totally overwhelmed with everything. For the first time in my life, I was afraid. I had never experienced fear before.
I used to drive my car like a maniac. The speed limit on my street was 25, and I routinely drove 100 MPH on it late at night. I had no fear of an accident.
I worked late at night in neighborhoods where I was taking my life into my hands. Not afraid. I just did it.
I had some jerk stalk me along with his friends with malicious intentions. Nope, didn't bother me. In fact, I actually went after him one day.
So, what was this terrible fear?
I was afraid of failure. I was going into college, and I was afraid that I couldn't cut it. I had nothing to base this on, as I did ok in a very competitive high school, and scored very well on the SAT's. In fact, I had succeeded at nearly everything I ever tried. Apparently, all the crap that had been dumped on me all my life just welled up and poured out as fear.
My father was about the least supportive person I ever could imagine, and yet, I had this inate desire to please him. The one person I should have ignored, I gave so much power to. And here I am, these so many years later, continuing to do so.
I'm not sure how to get out of this, but I do feel energized that now, I can see where I made a wrong turn (followed by dozens of others.) It is said that if a man has knowledge, he has power. I believe that I now have the power to make changes. I just hope that I have the courage and conviction to follow through.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Forgiveness
I have read many times that the reason we often get stuck in life is that we can't forgive those who have hurt us in the past. After all, the one who hurt us either isn't aware, or doesn't care about it, so why give them the power to control us?
This makes sense, and I try to forgive those from my past.
Just today, I started to forgive an ex-boss. It started out like this:
Marie, I forgive you.
But then it quickly became:
Marie, I forgive you even though you are a worthless miserable piece of excrement and I hope that you are dead by now, so that you are deep within the bowels of hell. You made me feel awful on a daily basis and partly because of your evil nature, my life sucks. I hope nothing good ever happens to you or anyone in your family or anyone in your life. May you suffer 10 times what I did for 10 times as long.
I think I need to work on my forgiveness skills a bit more.
This makes sense, and I try to forgive those from my past.
Just today, I started to forgive an ex-boss. It started out like this:
Marie, I forgive you.
But then it quickly became:
Marie, I forgive you even though you are a worthless miserable piece of excrement and I hope that you are dead by now, so that you are deep within the bowels of hell. You made me feel awful on a daily basis and partly because of your evil nature, my life sucks. I hope nothing good ever happens to you or anyone in your family or anyone in your life. May you suffer 10 times what I did for 10 times as long.
I think I need to work on my forgiveness skills a bit more.
Pitchers and catchers, please report to Legends Field
Today my beloved Yankees are preparing to fire the opening salvo in their assault on the National Championship. Pitchers and catchers are due in Legends Field. I sit here in the utter gray-ness of a New Jersey winter, looking out my window at the bleak surroundings. But, I do not despair because even at this very moment, the boys of summer are in Florida making preparations to return the championship trophy back to where it belongs, back to the House That Ruth Built. The absolute Mecca of major league baseball, Yankees Stadium in The South Bronx.
I'm pretty excited about this. Easy to tell, huh?
The Yankees have been the one constant in my life. From the first game I attended back in the days of Mantle and Maris, through the dissapointments of the 60's and early 70's (Michael to Clark to Cater--double play!!) right through to the monster teams of the late 90's led by Jeter and company, I have always looked at spring not as a renewal of the earth, but as a renewal of baseball, as a renewal of life itself.
My best times were spent either watching the Yankees, or talking about the Yankees, or reading about the Yankees, or...this could go on for a while, so I'll just stop here. I belong to the Official Yankees Fan Club, I have stickers and flags on my vehicles, anywhere you turn, there is some Yankees related icon in my home. I'm wearing a Yankees shirt while I type this.
I have a statue of St. Thurman Munson that I look at every day. As soon as I can, I'm packing it and sending it to a friend who is going to give it a good home. I'm just afraid that if something happens to me, the statue will wind up at a yard sale and be sold for a quarter. Kind of sad to think that one of my favorite things will be just penny ante trash to others.
Maybe that's why I have been so melancholy lately. No sports to take my mind off my incredibly dull existence. The stupid Giants had a mediocre season that ended too soon. The Super Bowl is done and gone. Basketball and hockey? Bleeeeh.
But today, pitchers and catchers report.
Today is the beginning. Today is the rebirth.
Today is the first day of 2007.
I'm pretty excited about this. Easy to tell, huh?
The Yankees have been the one constant in my life. From the first game I attended back in the days of Mantle and Maris, through the dissapointments of the 60's and early 70's (Michael to Clark to Cater--double play!!) right through to the monster teams of the late 90's led by Jeter and company, I have always looked at spring not as a renewal of the earth, but as a renewal of baseball, as a renewal of life itself.
My best times were spent either watching the Yankees, or talking about the Yankees, or reading about the Yankees, or...this could go on for a while, so I'll just stop here. I belong to the Official Yankees Fan Club, I have stickers and flags on my vehicles, anywhere you turn, there is some Yankees related icon in my home. I'm wearing a Yankees shirt while I type this.
I have a statue of St. Thurman Munson that I look at every day. As soon as I can, I'm packing it and sending it to a friend who is going to give it a good home. I'm just afraid that if something happens to me, the statue will wind up at a yard sale and be sold for a quarter. Kind of sad to think that one of my favorite things will be just penny ante trash to others.
Maybe that's why I have been so melancholy lately. No sports to take my mind off my incredibly dull existence. The stupid Giants had a mediocre season that ended too soon. The Super Bowl is done and gone. Basketball and hockey? Bleeeeh.
But today, pitchers and catchers report.
Today is the beginning. Today is the rebirth.
Today is the first day of 2007.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Showbiz India or Hurray for Bollywood
Everybody knows how much I love watching TV, but unfortunately, so often it is a vast wasteland. On the weekends, especially during the day, it is nearly impossible to find anything to watch. So, I often look for the really obscure shows, usually in foreign languages. Sabado Gigante is always reliable. I don't speak Spanish well enough to understand everything, but they have enough hot chicks and all around zaniness to keep me interested.
Today, I uncovered an absolute gem, though.
It is on Satuday mornings. Not exactly prime time, but that is what makes it such an undiscovered gem.
After watching it today, I knew I had to review it. Usually I give shows a couple tries before I do so to make sure that it is quality viewing, but this is so good that I would be remiss in my self- appointed duties as pointer outer of TV shows you may have missed. I need a better title. For now, I'll go as "The Channel Sherpa" I guess.
Anyway, the show opens with the theme from the A-Team, along with shots very similar to that classic TV show. Everybody knows the opening is one of my favorite parts of any show. Give me a good opening theme and I'm half-way to TV Nirvana.
Anyway, the program features Bollywood movies and other things Asian Indian. If you have never seen a traditional Bollywood movie, immediately go to Blockbuster and rent a couple. I don't know if they have subtitles or not, but they don't need any. Not that I speak Hindi, but traditional Bollywood movies are visual spectaculars. I think I enjoy them even more because I don't speak the language. The movies almost always seem to start out with a guy noticing a woman. A casual glance across a field, or some such thing. This is usually followed by a song and sensual dance. Then pirates show up, and a huge battle ensues between the star and the pirate leader. Soon after the pirates are dispatched, the viewer will be treated to an extravagent dance number with everybody from the entire movie (including the pirates, sometimes.) I just saw one scene from a movie that had pirates, acrobats, and clowns. Who could ask for more than that in one dance number?
They also highlight many music videos featuring lots of dancing. While a few songs may be in English, many are not. But all are visually stunning. Some may be like MTV (PG-13) but a lot are the old-fashioned type with ornate costumes and graceful movements.
And the one hour episode is just crammed with entertainment value. Today a behind the scenes look at a new Bollywood movie was a focus of a big part of the show. If anyone doesn't understand, or is unaware of the impact of Bollywood, note that a major project co-starring Johnny Depp is in the works. Hugh Grant will also appear in a role with a major
Bollywood star (I missed whether he was in a Bollywood movie, or if the Bollywood star is in a Hollywood flick.)
Commercials are limited, and the long breaks associated with network TV just don't exist.
I love this show, and rate it a very solid 8.8.
It's a new month, so here's a quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.
6--Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs.
You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more.You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.
4--Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks. Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3--Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.
2-- About the same as a good infommercial. QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
Today, I uncovered an absolute gem, though.
It is on Satuday mornings. Not exactly prime time, but that is what makes it such an undiscovered gem.
After watching it today, I knew I had to review it. Usually I give shows a couple tries before I do so to make sure that it is quality viewing, but this is so good that I would be remiss in my self- appointed duties as pointer outer of TV shows you may have missed. I need a better title. For now, I'll go as "The Channel Sherpa" I guess.
Anyway, the show opens with the theme from the A-Team, along with shots very similar to that classic TV show. Everybody knows the opening is one of my favorite parts of any show. Give me a good opening theme and I'm half-way to TV Nirvana.
Anyway, the program features Bollywood movies and other things Asian Indian. If you have never seen a traditional Bollywood movie, immediately go to Blockbuster and rent a couple. I don't know if they have subtitles or not, but they don't need any. Not that I speak Hindi, but traditional Bollywood movies are visual spectaculars. I think I enjoy them even more because I don't speak the language. The movies almost always seem to start out with a guy noticing a woman. A casual glance across a field, or some such thing. This is usually followed by a song and sensual dance. Then pirates show up, and a huge battle ensues between the star and the pirate leader. Soon after the pirates are dispatched, the viewer will be treated to an extravagent dance number with everybody from the entire movie (including the pirates, sometimes.) I just saw one scene from a movie that had pirates, acrobats, and clowns. Who could ask for more than that in one dance number?
They also highlight many music videos featuring lots of dancing. While a few songs may be in English, many are not. But all are visually stunning. Some may be like MTV (PG-13) but a lot are the old-fashioned type with ornate costumes and graceful movements.
And the one hour episode is just crammed with entertainment value. Today a behind the scenes look at a new Bollywood movie was a focus of a big part of the show. If anyone doesn't understand, or is unaware of the impact of Bollywood, note that a major project co-starring Johnny Depp is in the works. Hugh Grant will also appear in a role with a major
Bollywood star (I missed whether he was in a Bollywood movie, or if the Bollywood star is in a Hollywood flick.)
Commercials are limited, and the long breaks associated with network TV just don't exist.
I love this show, and rate it a very solid 8.8.
It's a new month, so here's a quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.
6--Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs.
You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more.You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.
4--Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks. Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3--Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.
2-- About the same as a good infommercial. QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
Friday, February 09, 2007
On Commercials
I actually like most commercials. Because I have such a short attention span, they give me a welcome break, and they can be entertaining as well.
One commercial, and it is probably not a national one, is for Chase Bank.
It really annoys the crap out of me. "Roxy" gets her paycheck handed to her in her cubicle. The guy handing out the checks notes her unbridled enthusiasm and asks if it is her first one ever.
Of course it is. So far, so good.
A little theme music from Mary Tyler Moore's Show plays in the background as she races through the rest of her night. She buys a dog, buys dinner for all her friends, then pays some bills, and finally goes to the movies.
Okay, how much does this obviously lower level office worker make?
She had to spend a thousand bucks or more in a couple hours. Where do I get a job like this?
One commercial, and it is probably not a national one, is for Chase Bank.
It really annoys the crap out of me. "Roxy" gets her paycheck handed to her in her cubicle. The guy handing out the checks notes her unbridled enthusiasm and asks if it is her first one ever.
Of course it is. So far, so good.
A little theme music from Mary Tyler Moore's Show plays in the background as she races through the rest of her night. She buys a dog, buys dinner for all her friends, then pays some bills, and finally goes to the movies.
Okay, how much does this obviously lower level office worker make?
She had to spend a thousand bucks or more in a couple hours. Where do I get a job like this?
Onions stink, so...
it's time for me to move on. I feel really good today. I went to the doctor and he told me that I am healing much better than he expected. He said it looks like I'm a starfish, like I'm trying to grow a new toe. I doubt that will ever happen, but at least things are looking up.
I've been reading a very inspirational book (Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now) and it has made me feel a lot better. A good friend suggested that I pick up a copy, and even offered to send me a copy. It was funny that I had a copy sitting here, covered in dust, under the big pile of books that I will get to "someday."
I have thought of going to a shrink, but I had such a bad experience in the past, that I probably won't do it. It wasn't really a bad experience, it was just a waste of time.
I faithfully went for 6 weeks, and at the end, I was declared (because my insurance ran out) mentally well and able to get on with my life. That was over 15 years ago, and since I've been "cured," everything has been just fabulous. I used this word only because I'm trying to get in touch with my more cuddly feminine side.
Okay, I know that my life has just sucked eggs since my "cure," but, for today, I'm trying to fake it until I make it, or in this case fake it and hope for the best.
To get on with my life, I have to get my butt up (metaphorically, as I still can't walk) and start taking the steps to the next stage of my life.
Proof I'm getting better--yesterday, I would have called it my pathetic excuse for a life.
One step at a time.
Maybe in a few weeks, it will be taking steps towards my fabulous, fun-filled future (note the alliteration and the feminine side getting in touch with-it-ness.)
I've been reading a very inspirational book (Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now) and it has made me feel a lot better. A good friend suggested that I pick up a copy, and even offered to send me a copy. It was funny that I had a copy sitting here, covered in dust, under the big pile of books that I will get to "someday."
I have thought of going to a shrink, but I had such a bad experience in the past, that I probably won't do it. It wasn't really a bad experience, it was just a waste of time.
I faithfully went for 6 weeks, and at the end, I was declared (because my insurance ran out) mentally well and able to get on with my life. That was over 15 years ago, and since I've been "cured," everything has been just fabulous. I used this word only because I'm trying to get in touch with my more cuddly feminine side.
Okay, I know that my life has just sucked eggs since my "cure," but, for today, I'm trying to fake it until I make it, or in this case fake it and hope for the best.
To get on with my life, I have to get my butt up (metaphorically, as I still can't walk) and start taking the steps to the next stage of my life.
Proof I'm getting better--yesterday, I would have called it my pathetic excuse for a life.
One step at a time.
Maybe in a few weeks, it will be taking steps towards my fabulous, fun-filled future (note the alliteration and the feminine side getting in touch with-it-ness.)
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Peeling Onions
(warning: this is a little deep, not my usual goofy insights. It scares me, and I somewhat know what I’m going to write.)
I was speaking to a friend recently, and he reminded me of a scene from Shrek. Shrek and Donkey were talking, and Shrek told him that Ogres were like onions.
Not that they stink, but that they have many layers. Such is a life. I don’t want to examine mine, but from time to time, I suppose it is a good thing to do.
I have major self-esteem issues. Remember that character Al Franken developed on Saturday Night Live, Stewart Smalley? He looked in the mirror and said, “I’m smart, enough, I’m good enough, and gosh darn it, people like me” or something like that.
I look in the mirror and think, “You stupid fat bastard, you’ve really made a mess of things haven’t you. Again. When the hell are you ever going to grow up? When are you going to get it together?” I’m into self-flagellation without the whips and chains. But this mental crap hurts as much. At times, I think getting my ass kicked may be better. At least it has a beginning and an end.
I hate having these bouts of depression, but not enough that I seek therapy, I guess. I don’t want to take any more pills. I already pop dozens per day for various ailments and diseases.
I try to surround myself with positive people, and that helps, but it seems that every so often, I get into one hell of a funk. I never consider suicide, but sure as hell wouldn’t mind if I die.
I don’t even know what brings these on. I can just be sitting there eating my PB&J, and all of a sudden—BANG!!! I’m overcome with emotion about some crap that happened years ago. I have taken every amateur shrink’s advice. I’ve forgiven everyone who ever hurt me, everyone who has even pissed me off. I watch hours of funny stuff on TV. I engage with people with great senses of humor. I still feel that yesterday was bad, today sucks and tomorrow doesn’t look to be my day either.
A good friend just sent me a note, and reminded me to look at the good things.
Maybe I’ll go find that song, “Always look on the Bright Side of Life” and listen to it a few times.
I know I sure can’t solve my problems today, but writing about them helps.
Thanks for listening, even if this crap just disappears in cyberspace. At least it’s not in my head for the time being.
12 step programs have writing and burning.
I have writing and posting.
I was speaking to a friend recently, and he reminded me of a scene from Shrek. Shrek and Donkey were talking, and Shrek told him that Ogres were like onions.
Not that they stink, but that they have many layers. Such is a life. I don’t want to examine mine, but from time to time, I suppose it is a good thing to do.
I have major self-esteem issues. Remember that character Al Franken developed on Saturday Night Live, Stewart Smalley? He looked in the mirror and said, “I’m smart, enough, I’m good enough, and gosh darn it, people like me” or something like that.
I look in the mirror and think, “You stupid fat bastard, you’ve really made a mess of things haven’t you. Again. When the hell are you ever going to grow up? When are you going to get it together?” I’m into self-flagellation without the whips and chains. But this mental crap hurts as much. At times, I think getting my ass kicked may be better. At least it has a beginning and an end.
I hate having these bouts of depression, but not enough that I seek therapy, I guess. I don’t want to take any more pills. I already pop dozens per day for various ailments and diseases.
I try to surround myself with positive people, and that helps, but it seems that every so often, I get into one hell of a funk. I never consider suicide, but sure as hell wouldn’t mind if I die.
I don’t even know what brings these on. I can just be sitting there eating my PB&J, and all of a sudden—BANG!!! I’m overcome with emotion about some crap that happened years ago. I have taken every amateur shrink’s advice. I’ve forgiven everyone who ever hurt me, everyone who has even pissed me off. I watch hours of funny stuff on TV. I engage with people with great senses of humor. I still feel that yesterday was bad, today sucks and tomorrow doesn’t look to be my day either.
A good friend just sent me a note, and reminded me to look at the good things.
Maybe I’ll go find that song, “Always look on the Bright Side of Life” and listen to it a few times.
I know I sure can’t solve my problems today, but writing about them helps.
Thanks for listening, even if this crap just disappears in cyberspace. At least it’s not in my head for the time being.
12 step programs have writing and burning.
I have writing and posting.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
I would love to know...
...what is on my permanent record. All of them. Nearly every time you call the cable company, it is recorded and noted on your record. I'm sure that nearly every business you deal with, has some sort of record that you called, along with the response of the representative.
I'm pretty sure most records have me as an annoying customer. I'm polite, but very persistent when I call. For example, a few years ago I called the cable company. I wanted to know why it took so long to get my service. They told me that the work scheduled for winter had to be delayed because it was cold. I reminded the representative that it is cold every winter in New Jersey, so could he please come up with another reason, along with an estimate as to when the work would be completed. He was not happy, and needed to go speak to his supervosor. Eventually, I wound up speaking to the supervisor.
It seems that nearly every time I call any business, I have to speak to the supervisor.
But what I am really interested in reading would be the record of my last hospital stay.
Not so much for my near legendary battles with the dietary department, but for something much more personal.
Because my foot was operated on, I spent a lot of time in bed. I really could do little else.
One problem when one spends so much time laying in bed is that rashes may develop. So, to prevent this, I use baby wipes (Luv's rocks) after using the urinal. So far, so good. But privacy is an issue. I can't get up to pull the curtain, so I do the best I can.
I can go hours without seeing a nurse or aide. But I can guaranfreakintee that the minute I clean up after "going," a nurse will walk in the room. I go maybe 5 times a day, and at least 4 of those, the nurse will walk in. I can ring the call bell for 20 minutes and won't see anyone. Start using a baby wipe on me, and there is Nurse Hottie at the door, and me looking embarassed as can be. Which I suppose makes it even worse. Here I am fighting disease and promoting good health, and all she sees is some middle aged pervert fondling himself. Since it happens practically every time she walks in the room, what do you think is being written on my permanent record?
I'm pretty sure most records have me as an annoying customer. I'm polite, but very persistent when I call. For example, a few years ago I called the cable company. I wanted to know why it took so long to get my service. They told me that the work scheduled for winter had to be delayed because it was cold. I reminded the representative that it is cold every winter in New Jersey, so could he please come up with another reason, along with an estimate as to when the work would be completed. He was not happy, and needed to go speak to his supervosor. Eventually, I wound up speaking to the supervisor.
It seems that nearly every time I call any business, I have to speak to the supervisor.
But what I am really interested in reading would be the record of my last hospital stay.
Not so much for my near legendary battles with the dietary department, but for something much more personal.
Because my foot was operated on, I spent a lot of time in bed. I really could do little else.
One problem when one spends so much time laying in bed is that rashes may develop. So, to prevent this, I use baby wipes (Luv's rocks) after using the urinal. So far, so good. But privacy is an issue. I can't get up to pull the curtain, so I do the best I can.
I can go hours without seeing a nurse or aide. But I can guaranfreakintee that the minute I clean up after "going," a nurse will walk in the room. I go maybe 5 times a day, and at least 4 of those, the nurse will walk in. I can ring the call bell for 20 minutes and won't see anyone. Start using a baby wipe on me, and there is Nurse Hottie at the door, and me looking embarassed as can be. Which I suppose makes it even worse. Here I am fighting disease and promoting good health, and all she sees is some middle aged pervert fondling himself. Since it happens practically every time she walks in the room, what do you think is being written on my permanent record?
Thursday, February 01, 2007
USPS Rocks
WTH is up with the post office? I mail a check to the hospital which is about 5 miles or so from my mailbox. A week or so later, I get a letter from one of the main district offices (may have been in Atlanta) and it has a picture of my mail on it. They claim my envelope was destroyed and they forwarded the contents to Atlanta (what's that, about 800+ miles away) so they can take a picture of the contents of my envelope, and mail the picture back to me. What if that was destroyed? Would they take a picture of the picture?
It looks like they are holding my mail for ransom. Or that they are taunting me. What's next, my mail shows up on a milk carton? I wonder why they put in the accompanying note that for my protection, they would take a picture of my mail, and send me the picture, while they destroyed my mail. Was my mail dangerous? Was it the WMD's that the UN had been searching for?
Oy!
But they did say that they hoped I would continue to use the Post Office for my postal needs.
As opposed to ...
It looks like they are holding my mail for ransom. Or that they are taunting me. What's next, my mail shows up on a milk carton? I wonder why they put in the accompanying note that for my protection, they would take a picture of my mail, and send me the picture, while they destroyed my mail. Was my mail dangerous? Was it the WMD's that the UN had been searching for?
Oy!
But they did say that they hoped I would continue to use the Post Office for my postal needs.
As opposed to ...
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Rambling thoughts from my Hospital Bed # 3
I was going to call this "My Left Hook" but decided it is now part of my ongoing Hospital Bed series. I wrote this on 1-23-07 and is about an event that happened in 2001.
It's easy to get used to pain in the hospital. Poking, prodding, and getting stuck with all manner of pointy things is just a normal part of one's day. But occasionally hospital staff goes too far. I had a picc line (this is tubing inserted into my vein and then snaked about 2 feet or so through my arteries and then sewn in place) and the doctor came in to remove it as I was being discharged. No big deal, and it takes a minute or two and is completely painless. Unless, of course, the doctor doesn't properly cut the stitches holding the picc line in place.
The institution's doctor, whom I had never seen before, or since, came in to remove the line. She cut two stitches (I had 3) and then started yanking like she had just harpooned a seal. My skin stretched like a cartoon character's and I yelled while she kept pulling. She stopped and I told her about the stitch. She said that she had cut them, and she started yanking again and my skin responded like the main attraction at an old-fashioned county fair taffy pull. The pain was intense, and instinctively, my left hand formed a fist, and I swung at her hard. I missed, but she backed off. NOW she was ready to listen.
It's easy to get used to pain in the hospital. Poking, prodding, and getting stuck with all manner of pointy things is just a normal part of one's day. But occasionally hospital staff goes too far. I had a picc line (this is tubing inserted into my vein and then snaked about 2 feet or so through my arteries and then sewn in place) and the doctor came in to remove it as I was being discharged. No big deal, and it takes a minute or two and is completely painless. Unless, of course, the doctor doesn't properly cut the stitches holding the picc line in place.
The institution's doctor, whom I had never seen before, or since, came in to remove the line. She cut two stitches (I had 3) and then started yanking like she had just harpooned a seal. My skin stretched like a cartoon character's and I yelled while she kept pulling. She stopped and I told her about the stitch. She said that she had cut them, and she started yanking again and my skin responded like the main attraction at an old-fashioned county fair taffy pull. The pain was intense, and instinctively, my left hand formed a fist, and I swung at her hard. I missed, but she backed off. NOW she was ready to listen.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Rambling thoughts from my hospital bed #2
I wrote this in the afternoon on 1-19-07 after Physical Therapy (PT.)
PT is full of triumphs and disappointments. Yesterday I spent a few minutes tapping a balloon back and forth with the Occupational Therapist. It made me wonder exactly what type of job was she preparing me to return to? Did she think I was a combination magician/animal balloon maker at Chucky Cheese? Perhaps she thought I was a Special Olympics caliber volley ball professional or a circus clown. Either way, I don't recall ever having a job (and I've had plenty of bad ones) where a balloon was used regularly. Could she be subconciously suggesting to me that I seek a new career?
I put get a "how to make animal balloons" book on my list of things to do as soon as I get out of here. I should probably get a "how to juggle" book, too. I'll need something to do after I've made everyone a balloon poodle.
I mentioned disappointments, and I've had quite a few. When my overly perky miniature PT suggested that she would get one of her cohorts and we would get in the shower, well, every post puberty fantasy raced through my head. Of course, this mind movie was scored like a 70's porn flick. Bwaaah, bwaah bwaaaah. Ooom pukka puuukkka.
Turns out all they wanted to do was watch me get out of my wheelchair, pivot, and then slide onto the shower bench, and then reverse the procedure.
But hope springs eternal. When she suggested that we get into bed, again, that same 70's soundtrack kicked in. Bwaaah bwaaah bwaaaah. Ooom Pukka Puuukkkka.
We went into a seperate room with a standard issue hospital bed. She drew the curtains. I got into bed just as she asked. I rolled over when she said to. Yeah!! I wondered which of my buddies I was going to call first to tell them the old man still had it!!! Then, in a sultry voice, she huskily whispered, "OK, now give it to me hard, big guy."
Wait, that was from my mental movie. What she actually said was, "Ok, now get your big butt out of bed if it isn't too hard."
Sigh.
PT is full of triumphs and disappointments. Yesterday I spent a few minutes tapping a balloon back and forth with the Occupational Therapist. It made me wonder exactly what type of job was she preparing me to return to? Did she think I was a combination magician/animal balloon maker at Chucky Cheese? Perhaps she thought I was a Special Olympics caliber volley ball professional or a circus clown. Either way, I don't recall ever having a job (and I've had plenty of bad ones) where a balloon was used regularly. Could she be subconciously suggesting to me that I seek a new career?
I put get a "how to make animal balloons" book on my list of things to do as soon as I get out of here. I should probably get a "how to juggle" book, too. I'll need something to do after I've made everyone a balloon poodle.
I mentioned disappointments, and I've had quite a few. When my overly perky miniature PT suggested that she would get one of her cohorts and we would get in the shower, well, every post puberty fantasy raced through my head. Of course, this mind movie was scored like a 70's porn flick. Bwaaah, bwaah bwaaaah. Ooom pukka puuukkka.
Turns out all they wanted to do was watch me get out of my wheelchair, pivot, and then slide onto the shower bench, and then reverse the procedure.
But hope springs eternal. When she suggested that we get into bed, again, that same 70's soundtrack kicked in. Bwaaah bwaaah bwaaaah. Ooom Pukka Puuukkkka.
We went into a seperate room with a standard issue hospital bed. She drew the curtains. I got into bed just as she asked. I rolled over when she said to. Yeah!! I wondered which of my buddies I was going to call first to tell them the old man still had it!!! Then, in a sultry voice, she huskily whispered, "OK, now give it to me hard, big guy."
Wait, that was from my mental movie. What she actually said was, "Ok, now get your big butt out of bed if it isn't too hard."
Sigh.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Rambling thoughts from my hospital bed #1
I'd like to post a few things I wrote while I was recently hospitalized for most of January. I wrote this in my diary January 19, 2007. I think it's too good to keep to myself.
Physical Therapy is more than facing challenges. It is learning to walk, or eat, or any of a myriad of activities of daily living all under the tutelage of a trained, highly skilled physical or occupational therapist (both interchangeable referred to as PT's hereafter.) From my personal experience, a PT is a young woman who is, shall I say for lack of a better term, petite? How would you describe someone smaller than petite?
My current PT's are attractive Asian women, none taller than 5 foot nothing and who would, after a lumber-jacked sized meal and a soaking rain, barely tip the scales at 98 lbs. This inherent cuteness is a great benefit to their job. Therapy hurts a lot, yet it is impossible to lash out at someone so adorable. Who could be so mean as to swat a pixie?
But PT's have learned to compensate for their tiny physique. I may tower over them, and weigh more than a squadron of PT's, but they use a method so insidious, yet clever, that one must tip one's cap for their resourcefulness. A team of 2 or more PT's help me to get up and walk. One puts her hand on my shoulder or arm, while the other gives me a wedgie. That time-tested favorite of grammar school bullies everywhere has now become a medical practice. I'm not exactly sure how pulling my shorts way up into my butt helps me to walk--who am I to argue with medical science--it must be admitted that it works. I put one foot in front of the other and hobble my way to recovery.
Physical Therapy is more than facing challenges. It is learning to walk, or eat, or any of a myriad of activities of daily living all under the tutelage of a trained, highly skilled physical or occupational therapist (both interchangeable referred to as PT's hereafter.) From my personal experience, a PT is a young woman who is, shall I say for lack of a better term, petite? How would you describe someone smaller than petite?
My current PT's are attractive Asian women, none taller than 5 foot nothing and who would, after a lumber-jacked sized meal and a soaking rain, barely tip the scales at 98 lbs. This inherent cuteness is a great benefit to their job. Therapy hurts a lot, yet it is impossible to lash out at someone so adorable. Who could be so mean as to swat a pixie?
But PT's have learned to compensate for their tiny physique. I may tower over them, and weigh more than a squadron of PT's, but they use a method so insidious, yet clever, that one must tip one's cap for their resourcefulness. A team of 2 or more PT's help me to get up and walk. One puts her hand on my shoulder or arm, while the other gives me a wedgie. That time-tested favorite of grammar school bullies everywhere has now become a medical practice. I'm not exactly sure how pulling my shorts way up into my butt helps me to walk--who am I to argue with medical science--it must be admitted that it works. I put one foot in front of the other and hobble my way to recovery.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
I've been sick
I've been sick lately, so I haven't been able to blog.
I really feel like writing, but after 10 minutes of sitting here, I start to feel like crap.
So this is going to be short.
What is wrong with the Giants?
They play brilliantly, then they play like crap. This up and down aggravates me as I get my hopes built up, and then they crash down. I like to believe in next year, but with Tiki leaving, and Strahan requiring surgery, it sure doesn't look good.
At least I can spell J-E-T-S.
I really feel like writing, but after 10 minutes of sitting here, I start to feel like crap.
So this is going to be short.
What is wrong with the Giants?
They play brilliantly, then they play like crap. This up and down aggravates me as I get my hopes built up, and then they crash down. I like to believe in next year, but with Tiki leaving, and Strahan requiring surgery, it sure doesn't look good.
At least I can spell J-E-T-S.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
I just feel like bloggin today
Nothing in particular. No shows to review. I just feel like writing and ranting. Actually, it may be more whimpering.
The big Holiday time is upon us. I see everyone rushing out to buy crap, and it got me thinking back to Christmas's when I was a kid.
I grew up in what was basically a middle class neighborhood. One neighbor was a cop, another owned a small business, while another still worked in a factory. It was not quite a big city, but not suburbia either.
I remember all the kids had their fair share of toys and stuff. Some kids, of course, had what seemed like everything. But that was not the norm.
Today, it seems, kids have everything. I was thinking about some of the kids I know, both personally, and through my job. These kids have PS 1, 2 and are expecting (and will get) 3. They have Nintendo, and whatever gamimg systems I left out. Not only do they have every kind of toy and amusement, but each has duplicity of them. No, not a spare unit, but a seperate gaming system because, well, just because.
I grew up collecting baseball cards. I would save up money from my paper route, or from returning bottles, or whatever way little kids got money back in the day. I would go and buy 3 nickel packs at a time, because sales tax at that time didn't start until the sale hit .15. Today, if a kid wanted to engage in something as simple as collecting baseball cards, he or she would just go and buy a box, or a complete set.
It makes me wonder. Was the joy in the baseball cards, or in the act of collecting them? If I traded Mickey Mantle for Willie Mays (what am I saying, I'd never trade Mantle for Mays) ok, Jim Fergosi for Nolan Ryan, that was a part of childhood. Kids today almost never would trade, or at least not without consulting a guide. Flipping cards was also an act of gambling and bravado. Today, that would never happen.
We used to play with Hot Wheels cars. I guess kids today do also, but when I go to Wally World, or Target, I usually find adults searching for special cars like Treasure Hunts.
So here's my thoughts: did adults drive kids out of these toys, or did other toys just replace them? Given a choice between using imagination and a hot Wheels car, or a PS 3 version of a racing game, which would it be? Last week, I was at a train show, and someone had a race set hooked up. The old fashioned 1/32 scale race cars. The kids were lined up to have a chance. Would they have done the same for a video? I don't know.
I'm turning into a poor man's versionof Andy Rooney, here.
I'm done writing for now.
I'm going to tell everyone that I'm not buying any more crap for Christmas. I'm just going to give them a few dollars and donate money to help others.
The big Holiday time is upon us. I see everyone rushing out to buy crap, and it got me thinking back to Christmas's when I was a kid.
I grew up in what was basically a middle class neighborhood. One neighbor was a cop, another owned a small business, while another still worked in a factory. It was not quite a big city, but not suburbia either.
I remember all the kids had their fair share of toys and stuff. Some kids, of course, had what seemed like everything. But that was not the norm.
Today, it seems, kids have everything. I was thinking about some of the kids I know, both personally, and through my job. These kids have PS 1, 2 and are expecting (and will get) 3. They have Nintendo, and whatever gamimg systems I left out. Not only do they have every kind of toy and amusement, but each has duplicity of them. No, not a spare unit, but a seperate gaming system because, well, just because.
I grew up collecting baseball cards. I would save up money from my paper route, or from returning bottles, or whatever way little kids got money back in the day. I would go and buy 3 nickel packs at a time, because sales tax at that time didn't start until the sale hit .15. Today, if a kid wanted to engage in something as simple as collecting baseball cards, he or she would just go and buy a box, or a complete set.
It makes me wonder. Was the joy in the baseball cards, or in the act of collecting them? If I traded Mickey Mantle for Willie Mays (what am I saying, I'd never trade Mantle for Mays) ok, Jim Fergosi for Nolan Ryan, that was a part of childhood. Kids today almost never would trade, or at least not without consulting a guide. Flipping cards was also an act of gambling and bravado. Today, that would never happen.
We used to play with Hot Wheels cars. I guess kids today do also, but when I go to Wally World, or Target, I usually find adults searching for special cars like Treasure Hunts.
So here's my thoughts: did adults drive kids out of these toys, or did other toys just replace them? Given a choice between using imagination and a hot Wheels car, or a PS 3 version of a racing game, which would it be? Last week, I was at a train show, and someone had a race set hooked up. The old fashioned 1/32 scale race cars. The kids were lined up to have a chance. Would they have done the same for a video? I don't know.
I'm turning into a poor man's versionof Andy Rooney, here.
I'm done writing for now.
I'm going to tell everyone that I'm not buying any more crap for Christmas. I'm just going to give them a few dollars and donate money to help others.
Friday, December 01, 2006
My Guys
TBS is getting into new shows, ala FX and so many other cable networks. The newest show, My Guys, is on Tuesday nights and co-start Jim Gaffigan (the "Hot Pockets"guy) along with some others whose names I don't remember. That's not a big deal really, because I don't remember too many actor's names anyway. The star is some pretty cute blonde chick who is what could be called a tomboy, I guess. Her best female friend is a really cute girly -girl black chick. So far, so good. Her problem is that she has lots of male buddies, so it is difficult for her to have a relationship with a man. They all get so jealous of her relationship with all the other men in her life. OK, the premise is kind of hackneyed. But the supporting cast is pretty good. The star is cute.
I want this show to be good. I really, really want to like this show. I like Jim Gaffigan. I like cute blondes and cute black chicks. But the show is so poorly written that I did not get one good laugh out of the two episodes I watched. The Jim Gaffigan character is great, but he is a bit player at best. The one thing missing is the wacky character. There is no Kramer, no Arthur (from the King of Queens) no brother Robert, or any of the various wacky neighbors, relatives, or friends that seemed to make all the other sitcoms throughout the years work so well. I was kind of hoping it would be Jim Gaffigan, but his character is a laid back, extremely hen-pecked guy. Not quite enough for the laughs a good sitcom needs. I may give the show another chance or two, but that's only because I like the characters so much.
I am going to give this show a provisional rating of 4.5. If I watch a few more episodes and if gets somne tighter writing, and a wacky character or two, the show has 6 or 7 potential.
It's a new month, so here's a quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.6--
Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs.
6--You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more.
You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.4--
4--Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks.
Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3--Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.2-- About the same as a good infommercial.
2--QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
I want this show to be good. I really, really want to like this show. I like Jim Gaffigan. I like cute blondes and cute black chicks. But the show is so poorly written that I did not get one good laugh out of the two episodes I watched. The Jim Gaffigan character is great, but he is a bit player at best. The one thing missing is the wacky character. There is no Kramer, no Arthur (from the King of Queens) no brother Robert, or any of the various wacky neighbors, relatives, or friends that seemed to make all the other sitcoms throughout the years work so well. I was kind of hoping it would be Jim Gaffigan, but his character is a laid back, extremely hen-pecked guy. Not quite enough for the laughs a good sitcom needs. I may give the show another chance or two, but that's only because I like the characters so much.
I am going to give this show a provisional rating of 4.5. If I watch a few more episodes and if gets somne tighter writing, and a wacky character or two, the show has 6 or 7 potential.
It's a new month, so here's a quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.6--
Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs.
6--You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more.
You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.4--
4--Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks.
Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3--Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.2-- About the same as a good infommercial.
2--QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Hot Stove Season Kicks Into Gear
Hot stove season, for anyone unfamiliar with the term, is the time of the year when baseball fans used to sit around the general store, or the kitchen, any place where there was source of heat, aka a "hot stove," and discuss trades, possible trades, awards, and just baseball stuff in general.
The season kicked into high gear yesterday when the Yankees traded Gary Sheffield to the Tigers for 3 prospects: Humberto Sanchez, Kevin Whelan and Anthony Claggett.
The latter are single A players, so who knows how they will turn out, but Sanchez is a hard throwing righty, with a chance to make the majors in 2007. He does have a history of injury, but he wouldn't fit in with any Yankees staff of the last few years if he didn't. If, and that may be the biggest word in sports, but if he does as well as he has shown throught his AA and AAA career, he may be a part of the Yankees bullpen in 2007. Couple that with their own top pitching prospect, Philip Hughes, and they may have a staff that more resembles a quality major league staff for the next few years. This is a welcome change from the Saturday afternoon beer keg squad that they have been fielding. Wang and a bunch of guys that used to be good is not enough of a pitching staff. Hughes, Sanchez, and TJ Beam (who showed promise last year,) along with a couple others, and we may be talking about the Yankees staff without laughing.
The other big hot stove news is Daisuke Matsuzaka. You have to know I C&P'ed that name. Anyway, according to rumors (called premature by them) the Boston Red Sox are in the thick of a bidding war to bring this terrific Japanese player to America. Now, this may be different from deals in the past. The team must bid for the right to negotiate with him. That's not his salary, just the money to go to his old team to try to make a deal with him. The bidding is reputed to be in the vicinity of $38 million dollars. Matsuzaka is 26 years old and represented by who else but Scott Boras. He will most likely sign a contract for $7 mil per year for 3 years. That is the Boras way, so that Matsuzaka will get a second chance at free agency in 3 years, at age 29. And make even more money. I have to wonder, though, if he is worth it. Amortizing the big negotiating money over 3 years means that he costs about $13 million without his salary. Add that in, and it comes out to around $20 million per year. That's a lot of Wendy's Frostys. Will he guarantee Boston a pennant? If so, that is a fair price. If not, that is a lot of money down the drain.
And Boss George has been strangely quiet throughout all this. Is it to keep the price down so he can swoop in at the end, or does he think this isn't such a good deal?
One more Yankees rumor, but as of today it is a long shot. Nomar is available. Yankees brass is interested. That would mean all 3 of the greatest shortstops of the 90's would be playing in one infield, two of them at a position other than short. Could be interesting.
The last bit of hot stove news.
Derek Jeter and Robinson Cano each won a Silver Slugger award.
The season kicked into high gear yesterday when the Yankees traded Gary Sheffield to the Tigers for 3 prospects: Humberto Sanchez, Kevin Whelan and Anthony Claggett.
The latter are single A players, so who knows how they will turn out, but Sanchez is a hard throwing righty, with a chance to make the majors in 2007. He does have a history of injury, but he wouldn't fit in with any Yankees staff of the last few years if he didn't. If, and that may be the biggest word in sports, but if he does as well as he has shown throught his AA and AAA career, he may be a part of the Yankees bullpen in 2007. Couple that with their own top pitching prospect, Philip Hughes, and they may have a staff that more resembles a quality major league staff for the next few years. This is a welcome change from the Saturday afternoon beer keg squad that they have been fielding. Wang and a bunch of guys that used to be good is not enough of a pitching staff. Hughes, Sanchez, and TJ Beam (who showed promise last year,) along with a couple others, and we may be talking about the Yankees staff without laughing.
The other big hot stove news is Daisuke Matsuzaka. You have to know I C&P'ed that name. Anyway, according to rumors (called premature by them) the Boston Red Sox are in the thick of a bidding war to bring this terrific Japanese player to America. Now, this may be different from deals in the past. The team must bid for the right to negotiate with him. That's not his salary, just the money to go to his old team to try to make a deal with him. The bidding is reputed to be in the vicinity of $38 million dollars. Matsuzaka is 26 years old and represented by who else but Scott Boras. He will most likely sign a contract for $7 mil per year for 3 years. That is the Boras way, so that Matsuzaka will get a second chance at free agency in 3 years, at age 29. And make even more money. I have to wonder, though, if he is worth it. Amortizing the big negotiating money over 3 years means that he costs about $13 million without his salary. Add that in, and it comes out to around $20 million per year. That's a lot of Wendy's Frostys. Will he guarantee Boston a pennant? If so, that is a fair price. If not, that is a lot of money down the drain.
And Boss George has been strangely quiet throughout all this. Is it to keep the price down so he can swoop in at the end, or does he think this isn't such a good deal?
One more Yankees rumor, but as of today it is a long shot. Nomar is available. Yankees brass is interested. That would mean all 3 of the greatest shortstops of the 90's would be playing in one infield, two of them at a position other than short. Could be interesting.
The last bit of hot stove news.
Derek Jeter and Robinson Cano each won a Silver Slugger award.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Nobody Ever Died for Dear Old Rutgers
Last night was what some have called the most important game for Rutgers footbal since 1869 (which was the first game in college football history.)
In a stunning come frombehind win, Ruytgers, the Scarlet Knights, beat Loiusville 28-25 with a field goal with only seconds left in the game. Rutgers had missed the field goal, but a penalty gave the kicker another chance, and he booted it straight through the uprights. Depending on which poll, Rutgers had been ranked 13th or 15th, while Louisville was 3rd. This big win has suddenly turned the collegiate football world inside out.
Teams that were out are suddenly in, and whispers from coast to coast ask: "What about Rutgers?"
College football has some ridiculous method of choosing a national champion. Many times, if not most times, the champion is rather arbitrarily chosen. It is rare that one plays two, or any other combination to wind up with an actual winner. The teams are voted upon, and we all know how elections can sometimes turn out.
And this year, Rutgers is undefeated. Because they have not played enough nationally ranked teams, they will receive little to no consideration for a championship.
In the pros, we always have next year, but college players have an even more limited window than the pros. It is hard to build on a college team as so many graduate every year. This looks to be a very special Rutgers team, but barring a miracle collapse by every other top 10 team, they have no shot at a title.
And that is a shame.
It's time for college football to consider some sort of a championship playoff series. Not necessarily more games, but something where the top teams get into the top bowls. It may be too late for Rutgers this year, but at least set it up so tha the next "Cinderella Team" will have a shot at being America's best.
"Nobody Ever Died for Dear Old Rutgers"
Nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers,
Nobody ever had a life to give
When you're clipped by someone in the rear
You hear a mighty cheer,
But you're laid up for a year.
So nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers
Strangely enough they simply want to live
The alumni won't admit it's true, but
Nobody ever died for Rutgers U.
Rutgers, Rutgers, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah
Nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers,
Giving away your life would be extreme
When the coach says smash the Princeton line,
His reasoning is fine,
But it's no good for your spine,
So nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers
But there's a lot of valor on the team
You can get a little black and blue, but
Nobody ever died for Rutgers U.
In a stunning come frombehind win, Ruytgers, the Scarlet Knights, beat Loiusville 28-25 with a field goal with only seconds left in the game. Rutgers had missed the field goal, but a penalty gave the kicker another chance, and he booted it straight through the uprights. Depending on which poll, Rutgers had been ranked 13th or 15th, while Louisville was 3rd. This big win has suddenly turned the collegiate football world inside out.
Teams that were out are suddenly in, and whispers from coast to coast ask: "What about Rutgers?"
College football has some ridiculous method of choosing a national champion. Many times, if not most times, the champion is rather arbitrarily chosen. It is rare that one plays two, or any other combination to wind up with an actual winner. The teams are voted upon, and we all know how elections can sometimes turn out.
And this year, Rutgers is undefeated. Because they have not played enough nationally ranked teams, they will receive little to no consideration for a championship.
In the pros, we always have next year, but college players have an even more limited window than the pros. It is hard to build on a college team as so many graduate every year. This looks to be a very special Rutgers team, but barring a miracle collapse by every other top 10 team, they have no shot at a title.
And that is a shame.
It's time for college football to consider some sort of a championship playoff series. Not necessarily more games, but something where the top teams get into the top bowls. It may be too late for Rutgers this year, but at least set it up so tha the next "Cinderella Team" will have a shot at being America's best.
"Nobody Ever Died for Dear Old Rutgers"
Nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers,
Nobody ever had a life to give
When you're clipped by someone in the rear
You hear a mighty cheer,
But you're laid up for a year.
So nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers
Strangely enough they simply want to live
The alumni won't admit it's true, but
Nobody ever died for Rutgers U.
Rutgers, Rutgers, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah
Nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers,
Giving away your life would be extreme
When the coach says smash the Princeton line,
His reasoning is fine,
But it's no good for your spine,
So nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers
But there's a lot of valor on the team
You can get a little black and blue, but
Nobody ever died for Rutgers U.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Cookin' In Brooklyn
This is another one of those shows that only seems to show up on digital cable systems. I get it on one of the Discovery channels. It does not seem to be on any particular time, but whatever day it is on, it will be on maybe 6 times during that day. Alan Harding owns a few restaurants (did I have to tell you they are in Brooklyn?) and his show sometimes highlights a particular problem he may be having in one of the restaurants. The show has a catchy theme song, and I'm really a sucker for a good theme song. It's hard to think of any really bad show with a good theme song. Though My Mother The Car was a legendary awful show and had a decent theme song. Perhaps that is the exception that proves the rule. Or maybe I just like theme songs about cars. Or TV theme songs in general.
Nevertheless, Cookin' in Brooklyn is a very different type of cooking show. He does cook different recipes, but so far, I haven't seen many that I would ever make at home. He uses a wide variety of ingredients and often, they are things I wouldn't use. He put bacon and pork rinds in his chili!!! Oy vey!!!
The reason I like the show is that he doesn't just cook his recipes, he creates stories around every episode. For example, on the aforementioned chili recipe show, he was watching a football game with his friends. They provided the beer and he provided 4 quarters of food.
He celebrated Bastille Day (I'm not making this up) and had a BBQ with some lamb sausages. Often Alan will go out on the street and offer his creations to passersby.
The show is always interesting, and Alan has such a mild demeanor that it is an almost relaxing show to watch (as opposed to Iron Chef or Emeril--BAM!!)
And, that may be why I try to find the show, even when it is a repeat. The show is funny, and very interesting. It is as much a show as a cooking show. One episode may find Alan riding around in his old pickup truck (not a classic, just a beat up mid-late 90's white Ford) and then he'll be at the docks, then he'll be in his kitchen, all in the pursuit of the perfect fish dinner.
Or he'll organize a sandwich contest--I can't even explain that show, but it sure was entertaining. The show is always dependable for a laugh of two. And while I may not copy his recipes, they do make me think about food in a different way.
And it does have a kick-ass theme song.
I rate it a 6.8.
Here's a link with some of his recipes.
http://home.discovery.com/fansites/cookininbrooklyn/recipes/recipe_index.html
Nevertheless, Cookin' in Brooklyn is a very different type of cooking show. He does cook different recipes, but so far, I haven't seen many that I would ever make at home. He uses a wide variety of ingredients and often, they are things I wouldn't use. He put bacon and pork rinds in his chili!!! Oy vey!!!
The reason I like the show is that he doesn't just cook his recipes, he creates stories around every episode. For example, on the aforementioned chili recipe show, he was watching a football game with his friends. They provided the beer and he provided 4 quarters of food.
He celebrated Bastille Day (I'm not making this up) and had a BBQ with some lamb sausages. Often Alan will go out on the street and offer his creations to passersby.
The show is always interesting, and Alan has such a mild demeanor that it is an almost relaxing show to watch (as opposed to Iron Chef or Emeril--BAM!!)
And, that may be why I try to find the show, even when it is a repeat. The show is funny, and very interesting. It is as much a show as a cooking show. One episode may find Alan riding around in his old pickup truck (not a classic, just a beat up mid-late 90's white Ford) and then he'll be at the docks, then he'll be in his kitchen, all in the pursuit of the perfect fish dinner.
Or he'll organize a sandwich contest--I can't even explain that show, but it sure was entertaining. The show is always dependable for a laugh of two. And while I may not copy his recipes, they do make me think about food in a different way.
And it does have a kick-ass theme song.
I rate it a 6.8.
Here's a link with some of his recipes.
http://home.discovery.com/fansites/cookininbrooklyn/recipes/recipe_index.html
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Borat: Cultural Learnings Movie
Ok, the official title of the movie is Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan . The title is too long for the page top.
The Crotchety Old Lady and I went to see the movie today. We went to the 11:35 a.m. showing. Believe it or not, the theater still had quite a few attendees. I would estimate it as being at least half full. I guess that is a fair crowd for a Sunday morning.
On to the film, a mocumentary of epic stature...
It reminded me of Airplane, a comedy with constant jokes. One after the next. Many of the scenes from the movie have already been shown both on TV and various internet sites, but I can assure you that the funniest scene from the movie, possibly the funniest scene from any movie ever, has not been shown yet. The Old lady laughed so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks. I feared that she was going to have a seizure as she apparently couldn't breathe. And she was not the only one. I have heard laughter in a theater before, but never quite like this. In fact, she told me afterwards that this one scene was worth the price of admission.
As far as the rest of the movie, the jokes came so fast and so often that I am sure I missed some. Rapid fire comedy at its best. Just be sure that you go to the restroom before the movie. If you get up during it, you may miss a few dozen really funny lines. And no way, you could ever ask someone, "What did I miss?" It would take too long, and you would miss another dozen laughs just trying to catch up.
I plan to see this movie again, it was that funny. And Pam Anderson had a nice role in it, so you know I am a huge fan already.
By the way, the movie is not family entertainment. It is rated "R" and deserves it. But it isn't a movie that gets its laughs from "blue" language. It uses comedic situations that transcend the one joke "guy from a foreign country who misunderstands English" humor that you often see in these movies. In fact, the funniest scenes would be funny even with different characters. The movie is so very well written. To paraphrase the words of Borat, "It has just enough Anti-semeticism."
It may even have you singing the Kazakhstan National Anthem as you leave the theater.
I rate it a solid 9.58.
The Crotchety Old Lady and I went to see the movie today. We went to the 11:35 a.m. showing. Believe it or not, the theater still had quite a few attendees. I would estimate it as being at least half full. I guess that is a fair crowd for a Sunday morning.
On to the film, a mocumentary of epic stature...
It reminded me of Airplane, a comedy with constant jokes. One after the next. Many of the scenes from the movie have already been shown both on TV and various internet sites, but I can assure you that the funniest scene from the movie, possibly the funniest scene from any movie ever, has not been shown yet. The Old lady laughed so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks. I feared that she was going to have a seizure as she apparently couldn't breathe. And she was not the only one. I have heard laughter in a theater before, but never quite like this. In fact, she told me afterwards that this one scene was worth the price of admission.
As far as the rest of the movie, the jokes came so fast and so often that I am sure I missed some. Rapid fire comedy at its best. Just be sure that you go to the restroom before the movie. If you get up during it, you may miss a few dozen really funny lines. And no way, you could ever ask someone, "What did I miss?" It would take too long, and you would miss another dozen laughs just trying to catch up.
I plan to see this movie again, it was that funny. And Pam Anderson had a nice role in it, so you know I am a huge fan already.
By the way, the movie is not family entertainment. It is rated "R" and deserves it. But it isn't a movie that gets its laughs from "blue" language. It uses comedic situations that transcend the one joke "guy from a foreign country who misunderstands English" humor that you often see in these movies. In fact, the funniest scenes would be funny even with different characters. The movie is so very well written. To paraphrase the words of Borat, "It has just enough Anti-semeticism."
It may even have you singing the Kazakhstan National Anthem as you leave the theater.
I rate it a solid 9.58.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
I Pity the Fool
Mr. T is back on TV. I have to admit, I would watch anything with Mr. T on it. If it was a show with Mr. T just sitting on a stool and talking, I'm there. A cooking show where all he makes is cheeseburgers--I'm there. You can get the picture. I am a huge Mr. T fan. He is perhaps the funniest tough guy to ever get on TV. Whether he is telling someone to stop the jibber jabber (a Mr. T trademark expression) or running around calling everybody a fool, Mr. T is just the best.
In his new show on TVLand, Mr. T helps people with their problems. And he does it with his own inimitable Mr. T style. For example, in one episode, a car dealership is struggling, so they call in Mr. T to raise morale. He motivates the staff and even helps sell a couple cars himself. Nothing is funnier than Mr. T helping his customer negotiate with the dealership's sales manager.
Another episode featured Mr. T helping out a dance school. The parents and the dance school teacher/proprietor were at odds. He helped them all get on the same page for the benefit of the kids.
Each episode has a "warm fuzzy" factor of 10+. Mr. T is like a big old teddy bear. Listening to him speak, though, he either has fantastic writers, or he is a much more educated man than he has portrayed in the past. He quotes classic literature and philosophers equally well.
But the show does have some serious flaws. In the dance show, the kids welcomed him like he was a pop star. Since he has been more or less out of the spotlight for the last 20 years, it just seemed so contrived. Sure, Mr. T was a big star, but these kids had never seen him on TV except on TVLand repeats. And even then, the show is only on once a day during the week. I just don't believe these kids had any idea who he is. Maybe it's just the skeptic in me.
And, Mr. T does get a little corny as he actually participates in the dance recital. He organizes a car wash and goes out into the street to draw people into the car wash. He is pretty funny yelling at the cars as they go by.
I've seen 3 episodes, so far. Each one is as great as the next. Mr. T helps a real estate office in Brooklyn, a dance studio in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and a car dealership (I think it was in NYC.)
Overall, though, the show is great. It's hard to rate it due to my absolute nearly child-like admiration for Mr. T.
It is a very solid 8.6. The only reason it didn't rate higher is because it is on so many times (like all basic cable programming) and it is hard to look forward to it when I never really know when it is on. Or what episode is going to be repeated endlessly. Have I mentioned that I like Mr. T?
A quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.
6-- Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs. You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more. You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.
4-- Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks. Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3-- Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.
2-- About the same as a good infommercial. QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
In his new show on TVLand, Mr. T helps people with their problems. And he does it with his own inimitable Mr. T style. For example, in one episode, a car dealership is struggling, so they call in Mr. T to raise morale. He motivates the staff and even helps sell a couple cars himself. Nothing is funnier than Mr. T helping his customer negotiate with the dealership's sales manager.
Another episode featured Mr. T helping out a dance school. The parents and the dance school teacher/proprietor were at odds. He helped them all get on the same page for the benefit of the kids.
Each episode has a "warm fuzzy" factor of 10+. Mr. T is like a big old teddy bear. Listening to him speak, though, he either has fantastic writers, or he is a much more educated man than he has portrayed in the past. He quotes classic literature and philosophers equally well.
But the show does have some serious flaws. In the dance show, the kids welcomed him like he was a pop star. Since he has been more or less out of the spotlight for the last 20 years, it just seemed so contrived. Sure, Mr. T was a big star, but these kids had never seen him on TV except on TVLand repeats. And even then, the show is only on once a day during the week. I just don't believe these kids had any idea who he is. Maybe it's just the skeptic in me.
And, Mr. T does get a little corny as he actually participates in the dance recital. He organizes a car wash and goes out into the street to draw people into the car wash. He is pretty funny yelling at the cars as they go by.
I've seen 3 episodes, so far. Each one is as great as the next. Mr. T helps a real estate office in Brooklyn, a dance studio in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and a car dealership (I think it was in NYC.)
Overall, though, the show is great. It's hard to rate it due to my absolute nearly child-like admiration for Mr. T.
It is a very solid 8.6. The only reason it didn't rate higher is because it is on so many times (like all basic cable programming) and it is hard to look forward to it when I never really know when it is on. Or what episode is going to be repeated endlessly. Have I mentioned that I like Mr. T?
A quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.
6-- Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs. You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more. You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.
4-- Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks. Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3-- Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.
2-- About the same as a good infommercial. QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
TGIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank God It's Xanax!!!!!!!!!!
My better half, the Crotchety Old Lady is extra cranky in the morning, and lately, has been really cranky all day long.
She has been going through a lot of personal strife and she has been letting it get to her. (imagine living with me every day--and I'm one of the bright spots lol) So, after all these many days of sadness, she has gone to see her doctor. He believes that she is beginning to get depressed. And he prescribed Xanax for her.
What a change it has made in her life!!! No longer is she a cranky wench in the morning. She has actually smiled in the morning for the first time since I met her. She still has many issues to deal with on a daily basis, but at least she is able to cope with them. We both are against medication unless absolutely necessary, but we are pretty glad that she made this choice.
It has been suggested (by her and anyone who knows me) that I would benefit from some drug therapy, but for now, I'm going to resist.
I already have such a sunny disposition and optimistic outlook, why mess with it? I wish I had a font for sarcasm.
Putting my usual real world outlook of impending doom and suicidal tendencies aside, I do intend to look into this medication for myself. I guess I'm just afraid I'll turn into a grinning idiot instead of the somber idiot that I usually am.
My better half, the Crotchety Old Lady is extra cranky in the morning, and lately, has been really cranky all day long.
She has been going through a lot of personal strife and she has been letting it get to her. (imagine living with me every day--and I'm one of the bright spots lol) So, after all these many days of sadness, she has gone to see her doctor. He believes that she is beginning to get depressed. And he prescribed Xanax for her.
What a change it has made in her life!!! No longer is she a cranky wench in the morning. She has actually smiled in the morning for the first time since I met her. She still has many issues to deal with on a daily basis, but at least she is able to cope with them. We both are against medication unless absolutely necessary, but we are pretty glad that she made this choice.
It has been suggested (by her and anyone who knows me) that I would benefit from some drug therapy, but for now, I'm going to resist.
I already have such a sunny disposition and optimistic outlook, why mess with it? I wish I had a font for sarcasm.
Putting my usual real world outlook of impending doom and suicidal tendencies aside, I do intend to look into this medication for myself. I guess I'm just afraid I'll turn into a grinning idiot instead of the somber idiot that I usually am.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Little People, Big World
This show is on TLC (The Learning Channel.) I'm not sure when it is on, but like most shows on cable, each episode is repeated endlessly. So, if you miss one, not to worry, it will be on 6 more times in the next month. The family featured in this reality show (yeah, I'm addicted to the genre) is the Roloffs. Dad, Matt, and Mom, Amy, are two little people who married and started a family. They have 4 kids. Three are average while one of the twins has the dwarfism gene. Each show features some of the challenges faced by little people (Matt also has a disability) but the best part is that it shows family interplay that has nothing to do with the size of their bodies. One recent double episode featured the family trip to Hawaii. Matt, who is driven to guide his kids to have the best possible childhood squeezed in a month's worth of fun and activity into a week or so. The family took a zip line trip, scuba dived, surfed and went shopping. I was exhausted just watching them. Matt had a very limited childhood due to his various illnesses and his physical limitations. He is trying to ensure that his kids have no such limitations. He also wants to be sure that they never miss an opportunity to try new things. The shows are very fun yet thought-provoking. I rate this show a very solid 6. http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/lpbw/lpbw.html
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Gene Simmons Family Jewels
I've seen a bunch of episodes. Celebreality is not my favorite thing. I never tune in, it is usually the Crotchety Old Lady who turns on the channel. But, once it is on, I just can't turn away. I'm not sure whether it is the numerous beautiful women (especially Shannon Tweed, Gene's long-time lover and mother to his 2 kids) or the fact that Gene Simmons is funny. Not in the sense of a comic funny, but that he is just goofy. I meant that as a compliment. He's like a buddy you would like to hang out with. He is always up to something, and mixes in a lot of fun. Gene is involved with a million (at last count) business ventures. In a way, he is like Ralph Kramden, assuming Ralph was an 80's rock god.The episode I saw last featured Gene's newest venture--the launch of "Gene Simmons Bikini Car Wash." What's not to like? Beautiful women in bikinis washing cars. I want my own franchise. But I digress. The show is just plain entertaining. His two kids are absolutely wonderful. They are both well aware of the camera and love to make fun of their dad. Usually, you sense that they really do care about him. They know that Gene isn't the average dad.And Gene throws money around. One episode, he went to a spa with Shannon. It was a health based exercise, and not what he thought it was going to be. Almost no food, no TV, no fun, and he slept in a seperate room from Shannon. Naturally, he heavily bribed a staff member to bring him junk food and a TV from outside the compound.Of course, Shannon caught him, so some of the hi-jinks appear to be rather contrived.Gene's office is featured very prominently in many episodes. The office is in his palatial home and he has on display tons of Kiss items. While some of it is real memorabilia, most of it is Kiss Dolls, comics, and all the assorted crap licensed by Kiss. Gene's family is great, and the behind the scenes glance at this marketing maven is interesting (no one word will really do justice and convey the feeling) I'm going to rate this show a very solid 7.69.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
The Soup
This show on E has been the launching pad for stars. Greg Kinnear was the old host years ago when it was called "Talk Soup." Today it is hosted by Joel McHale and just called the Soup. The show is a wrap-up of all the goofy moments from shows on many different channels. The best (worst?) of reality shows in less than 5 minutes. All those hours and hours of daytime talk shows that no one can sit through? You get the best in about 3 minutes. It is 22 minutes of funny clips with some very short skits done by the show's writers.
I consider it can't miss TV.
I rate it very highly, a very solid 8.
I consider it can't miss TV.
I rate it very highly, a very solid 8.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Stupid Yankees
Less than 24 hours after the biggest sports debacle in recent Yankees history, I sit here and still try to figure out what happened.
I can understand them getting beaten. In a short series, anything can happen. Look at the red-hot Twins getting knocked out in 3 games. Never expected that. Who would have? Espcially considering the A's were pretty much off the radar all year long. Few, if any, even thought of them as a post season force. And the Cardinals, who were all but given up for dead just a few weeks ago, can clinch today. Pretty much unexpected.
But, never in a million years would I have predicted that the Yankees got beaten the way they did. They scored in just 3 innings in the last 27+. Damon hit a 3 run blast for all the offense against Kenny Rogers.
Kenny Rogers? The nearly washed-up old man, who hasn't beaten the Yankees since 1993.
Then they were shut out by a rookie.
And, the biggest humiliation of all was the final game., Another rookie shut them down. I saw the veteran team, the guys who were part of the greatest offense ever assembled, looking like an overmatched group of Sunday afternoon beer leaguers.
Maybe they could have taken a pitch? Just a thought.
Bonderman pitched a 7 pitch 1st inning. And he was into the 5th having thrown less than 50 pitches. May have been less than 40, even.
What the hell was up with this team? And Williams, Sheffield (twice, last I looked) struck out on pitches that were at least a foot out of the strike zone. Hell, Williams needed a friggin golf club to hit the one he struck out on. And Sheffield would have missed if he had a friggin tennis racket.
Should I shred my A-Rod Jersey, or just burn it? Or should I do both?
I can understand them getting beaten. In a short series, anything can happen. Look at the red-hot Twins getting knocked out in 3 games. Never expected that. Who would have? Espcially considering the A's were pretty much off the radar all year long. Few, if any, even thought of them as a post season force. And the Cardinals, who were all but given up for dead just a few weeks ago, can clinch today. Pretty much unexpected.
But, never in a million years would I have predicted that the Yankees got beaten the way they did. They scored in just 3 innings in the last 27+. Damon hit a 3 run blast for all the offense against Kenny Rogers.
Kenny Rogers? The nearly washed-up old man, who hasn't beaten the Yankees since 1993.
Then they were shut out by a rookie.
And, the biggest humiliation of all was the final game., Another rookie shut them down. I saw the veteran team, the guys who were part of the greatest offense ever assembled, looking like an overmatched group of Sunday afternoon beer leaguers.
Maybe they could have taken a pitch? Just a thought.
Bonderman pitched a 7 pitch 1st inning. And he was into the 5th having thrown less than 50 pitches. May have been less than 40, even.
What the hell was up with this team? And Williams, Sheffield (twice, last I looked) struck out on pitches that were at least a foot out of the strike zone. Hell, Williams needed a friggin golf club to hit the one he struck out on. And Sheffield would have missed if he had a friggin tennis racket.
Should I shred my A-Rod Jersey, or just burn it? Or should I do both?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Antiques Roadshow
PBS is the little channel that could. In between the many beg-a-thons, some decent programming takes place. I'm a big fan of the Britcoms, particularly the older ones like Fawlty Towers. But they have to provide many hours of programming, so, this show comes on. The crew of expert antique appraisers show up in a town and every booger eating moron within hailing distance shows up with some stuff they have had in their attic since Truman was President. The appraisers then, well, give an appraisal. It is interesting to learn about all the stuff, but it just pisses me off at the reaction the people have.
For example, some yahoo shows up with some original artwork done by Grandma Moses. His family bought it many years ago from Grandma herself. Probably paid about 10 bucks. The appraiser gives an estimate of 5 or 6 figures and Goober is so surprised. What friggin rock was Goober living under so that he had no idea an original piece of artwork by a reknowned artist would be worth mega-bucks? And worse yet, why did he wait for Antiques Roadshow to arrive? If I had a major piece of artwork, I sure as hell would have at least been aware of its incredible value.
I'll have to give this show 2 seperate ratings.
It gets an 8 for educational purposes. But, for the incredibly dumb reactions from the yahoos, it gets a 5.
Overall, it would be a 6.5.
A quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.
6-- Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs. You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more. You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.
4-- Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks. Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3-- Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.
2-- About the same as a good infommercial. QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
For example, some yahoo shows up with some original artwork done by Grandma Moses. His family bought it many years ago from Grandma herself. Probably paid about 10 bucks. The appraiser gives an estimate of 5 or 6 figures and Goober is so surprised. What friggin rock was Goober living under so that he had no idea an original piece of artwork by a reknowned artist would be worth mega-bucks? And worse yet, why did he wait for Antiques Roadshow to arrive? If I had a major piece of artwork, I sure as hell would have at least been aware of its incredible value.
I'll have to give this show 2 seperate ratings.
It gets an 8 for educational purposes. But, for the incredibly dumb reactions from the yahoos, it gets a 5.
Overall, it would be a 6.5.
A quick review of my ratings system:
10--a prime show. The Sopranos or 24 would rate a 10.
9-- definately worth watching. Think South Park or Seinfeld re-runs. Not as funny as the first time, but still great TV fare.
8-- Pretty darn good stuff. If you can't be home, you'd consider setting up the VCR. Some solid 8's would be Earl, or Everybody Hates Chris.
7-- Not quite good enough to tape. But you can look forward to watching. The Office is the first show that comes to mind as a 7.
6-- Now we get into the shows that are ok, but only a first choice if other shows are re-runs. You won't mind watching a 6 at a different time. Britcoms are 6's.
5-- Think of a movie you liked, but have seen a dozen times or more. You'd choose the movie over the program, then the program is a 5. Mash and almost everything on TVLAND has become a 5.
4-- Crappy show, but with some redeeming quality, like it features hot chicks. Any show with Pam Anderson would be a 4.
3-- Only worth watching if the only alternative is infommercials. Fishing shows are 3.
2-- About the same as a good infommercial. QVC is a 2.
1-- Infommercials, unless they are The Knife Collector Show. They sell swords!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Deal or No Deal
I usually review shows NOT on major networks, but this show deserves a review. It is hosted by Howie Mandel, the germophobe. You won't see anyone hugging or kissing the host. He won't even shake hands with them. He does this knuckle-punch thing.
The show has a lot going for it. It features really big prize money. Each episode has a top prize of $1,000,000, and special ones have been as high as $6 million. No one has ever won that much, but they have had episodes where players won many hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Premise is very simple: 26 cases, each with a dollar amount from 1 penny up to a million bucks. Player chooses one case. Then, by opening the others, has to try to figure out how much is in their own. Along the way, the villian, "the banker" offers them money for their case. The amount he offers is based upon their odds of having a big prize amount.
For example, suppose at the end of the game, there are 2 cases left, the player's and one of the others. And every amount has been shown except the million and a dollar. The banker would offer maybe $500,000. (it's not always so cut and dried, but that is more or less how the odds are determined.)
The player has the option to either take the money or keep the case.
The game can get very exciting. I've seen players turn down huge, life changing amounts of cash to get zonked and wind up with almost nothing.
I've also seen the players at some point in the game sell their case, and get a huge return when the case only contained a few bucks. It's about 99.9997851% pure dumb luck.
And, of course, it features 26 really hot women dressed in classy formal attire.
It takes about 15 minutes to discover all the nuances of the game, and after that you realize that it is fun, nothing more. This ain't Jeopardy. It's not even a dumbed-down version of Wheel of Fortune. Any booger eating moron can become a millionaire. The skills can be learned in about 5 minutes or less.
I love this show.
I rate it a 9, just because it is so exciting and because Layla, case girl number 13, is a smoking hot honey.
The show has a lot going for it. It features really big prize money. Each episode has a top prize of $1,000,000, and special ones have been as high as $6 million. No one has ever won that much, but they have had episodes where players won many hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Premise is very simple: 26 cases, each with a dollar amount from 1 penny up to a million bucks. Player chooses one case. Then, by opening the others, has to try to figure out how much is in their own. Along the way, the villian, "the banker" offers them money for their case. The amount he offers is based upon their odds of having a big prize amount.
For example, suppose at the end of the game, there are 2 cases left, the player's and one of the others. And every amount has been shown except the million and a dollar. The banker would offer maybe $500,000. (it's not always so cut and dried, but that is more or less how the odds are determined.)
The player has the option to either take the money or keep the case.
The game can get very exciting. I've seen players turn down huge, life changing amounts of cash to get zonked and wind up with almost nothing.
I've also seen the players at some point in the game sell their case, and get a huge return when the case only contained a few bucks. It's about 99.9997851% pure dumb luck.
And, of course, it features 26 really hot women dressed in classy formal attire.
It takes about 15 minutes to discover all the nuances of the game, and after that you realize that it is fun, nothing more. This ain't Jeopardy. It's not even a dumbed-down version of Wheel of Fortune. Any booger eating moron can become a millionaire. The skills can be learned in about 5 minutes or less.
I love this show.
I rate it a 9, just because it is so exciting and because Layla, case girl number 13, is a smoking hot honey.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Rooting for the bully
The Yankees won their 9th straight pennant last night, and as a Yankee fan, it is pretty much old hat. SSDD. But, I always hear and read from fans of other teams snarky comments about the payroll, etc. The Yankees do have an unfair advantage because they have the highest payroll, by far.
So, what is the answer? The Yankees have invested vast sums of money into the team. Boss George spends every penny he can to make the team better. I remember years ago, when he wanted to get Tommy John in pinstripes, he took John on a whirlwind tour of NYC that was not really done much before that. Today, it is standard procedure, but George was the first one to really "court" free agents like Reggie and Tommy John.
The first big free agent, Jim "Catfish" Hunter signed with the Yankees because George saw the advantages of free agency and took advantage of them. George understands that victories=money. You can walk into any city in America and find Yankees fans. The franchise is the most famous in the world, which means you can walk into almost any country and find Yankees fans buying Yankees hats, shirts, and everything else. I wonder how many Kansas City Royals hats were sold in Japan last year?
I'm not only rooting for the same team I've supported for many years, but I'm helping to share the American ideal whereby hard work and smart business pratices are rewarded.
Kind of makes you want to wave an American flag while wearing an A-Rod jersey, doesn't it?
So, what is the answer? The Yankees have invested vast sums of money into the team. Boss George spends every penny he can to make the team better. I remember years ago, when he wanted to get Tommy John in pinstripes, he took John on a whirlwind tour of NYC that was not really done much before that. Today, it is standard procedure, but George was the first one to really "court" free agents like Reggie and Tommy John.
The first big free agent, Jim "Catfish" Hunter signed with the Yankees because George saw the advantages of free agency and took advantage of them. George understands that victories=money. You can walk into any city in America and find Yankees fans. The franchise is the most famous in the world, which means you can walk into almost any country and find Yankees fans buying Yankees hats, shirts, and everything else. I wonder how many Kansas City Royals hats were sold in Japan last year?
I'm not only rooting for the same team I've supported for many years, but I'm helping to share the American ideal whereby hard work and smart business pratices are rewarded.
Kind of makes you want to wave an American flag while wearing an A-Rod jersey, doesn't it?
Monday, September 11, 2006
A Day of Solemn Remembrance
September 11, 2001.
Much has been written about it. But no matter how much I read or watch, the pain never seems to dull.
On that day, a good friend of mine (A PA Cop) was in the Towers and tried to help others. If you see the most recent movie (I don't remember the name, because I won't go to see it) they mention my buddy's name (Jimmy) as one of the guys who was trapped and they were trying to get to him. They never did get to him in time. He was a highly decorated member of the Port Authority Police force and my daughter is a good friend of his son.
At my job (I'm a tutor) I had a brother and sister who lost their Dad in the attack. I didn't know them before the loss, but I met them afterwards. They were both perpetually sad, it seemed. They never expressed it openly, but I never saw them smile. Their dad wasn't one of the heroes, but instead was a victim. He was a guy trying to make a better life for his family. He was at a business card exchange when the planes hit. He was just going about his daily life, doing what he could to support his family.
I can't imagine how bad it must be for the kids and other family members who survived. Not only did they lose a loved one, but they are constantly reminded of it and today must be one of the worst days of the year. My buddy's kid is most likely going to be at some ceremony today, I'm sure. I hope this helps him heal in some way. I hope all the children and family members find peace.
Much has been written about it. But no matter how much I read or watch, the pain never seems to dull.
On that day, a good friend of mine (A PA Cop) was in the Towers and tried to help others. If you see the most recent movie (I don't remember the name, because I won't go to see it) they mention my buddy's name (Jimmy) as one of the guys who was trapped and they were trying to get to him. They never did get to him in time. He was a highly decorated member of the Port Authority Police force and my daughter is a good friend of his son.
At my job (I'm a tutor) I had a brother and sister who lost their Dad in the attack. I didn't know them before the loss, but I met them afterwards. They were both perpetually sad, it seemed. They never expressed it openly, but I never saw them smile. Their dad wasn't one of the heroes, but instead was a victim. He was a guy trying to make a better life for his family. He was at a business card exchange when the planes hit. He was just going about his daily life, doing what he could to support his family.
I can't imagine how bad it must be for the kids and other family members who survived. Not only did they lose a loved one, but they are constantly reminded of it and today must be one of the worst days of the year. My buddy's kid is most likely going to be at some ceremony today, I'm sure. I hope this helps him heal in some way. I hope all the children and family members find peace.
Greg The Bunny
Greg the Bunny is a series of shorts that appear on IFC. There does not appear to be any set schedule, nor any set lenghth of the vignettes. Most are loosely based upon scenes from famous movies. The original show has a history (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greg_the_Bunny) that is available on DVD.
But before you sit down with the kids to watch a cute show with puppets, be forewarned: This ain't Jim Henson's Muppets.
In a recent episode, Greg, a puppet with a touch of autism (their description, not mine)wanted to get back together with his friends from their old show. They are going to do a Greg the Bunny reunion special. Greg and his best bud, a Gorilla puppet named Warren, head to Vegas to meet up with Count Blah. Blah is similar to the Count from Sesame Street, but in the context of the show, he is the Count's bitter rival. Blah now works in a lounge act in Vegas.
When they get to Vegas, Warren starts to gamble (yes he has some "problems") and smoke cigars and gets drunk at the blackjack table. He loses all their money. Greg then sits in and proceeds to win that back plus enough to make them rich. Greg is like Rain Man in that he is a mathematical genius when it comes to playing blackjack. With their big winnings, Warren convinces innocent Greg to hire some hookers. Warren accidently kills one of the hookers, and the show ends with Greg and Warren in prison in orange jumpsuits.
If your sense of humor is is warped enough to laugh at drunken, smoking, cursing, womanizing puppets, you'll love Greg the Bunny.
I rate it a very strong 9.
But before you sit down with the kids to watch a cute show with puppets, be forewarned: This ain't Jim Henson's Muppets.
In a recent episode, Greg, a puppet with a touch of autism (their description, not mine)wanted to get back together with his friends from their old show. They are going to do a Greg the Bunny reunion special. Greg and his best bud, a Gorilla puppet named Warren, head to Vegas to meet up with Count Blah. Blah is similar to the Count from Sesame Street, but in the context of the show, he is the Count's bitter rival. Blah now works in a lounge act in Vegas.
When they get to Vegas, Warren starts to gamble (yes he has some "problems") and smoke cigars and gets drunk at the blackjack table. He loses all their money. Greg then sits in and proceeds to win that back plus enough to make them rich. Greg is like Rain Man in that he is a mathematical genius when it comes to playing blackjack. With their big winnings, Warren convinces innocent Greg to hire some hookers. Warren accidently kills one of the hookers, and the show ends with Greg and Warren in prison in orange jumpsuits.
If your sense of humor is is warped enough to laugh at drunken, smoking, cursing, womanizing puppets, you'll love Greg the Bunny.
I rate it a very strong 9.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Tax relief services
I've been seeing commercials on TV offering tax relief for people who owe at least $10,000 or more to the IRS. I'm not a big fan of taxes, and I believe our tax structure is set up rather unfairly. But I'm not interested in that debate today.
Everyone should pay their fair share. I realize it's only a commercial, but one example shows a professional (appears to be a dentist) who owed $250,000 and settled for $60,000. He stated that he was glad that he didn't lose his practice. I realize that this example they gave was probably not the norm, but it must be a possibility that someone who owed that much money would try to settle.
Now, here's my point: how did he owe so much?
I could see someone owning $10,000. They made a miscalculation with a large inheritance, or some other such mess. It can happen. But here's where I have a problem. Why is it settled and forgiven? Shouldn't they also have a re-payment plan? You can't owe 10's of 1000's of dollars unless you made and most likely will continue to make, 10's of 1000's of dollars. A working schlub like myself doesn't get a chance to settle for less that what we owe. The government gets its cut up front, before I get my pay. It's taken out before I get the chance to screw up. So why are others given the chance, and not only forgiven for the mistake, but seemingly rewarded? Just a bit more of the inequity of our system. The wealthy get an opportunity to take advantage of the system while the guys in the middle continue to get slapped around.
Everyone should pay their fair share. I realize it's only a commercial, but one example shows a professional (appears to be a dentist) who owed $250,000 and settled for $60,000. He stated that he was glad that he didn't lose his practice. I realize that this example they gave was probably not the norm, but it must be a possibility that someone who owed that much money would try to settle.
Now, here's my point: how did he owe so much?
I could see someone owning $10,000. They made a miscalculation with a large inheritance, or some other such mess. It can happen. But here's where I have a problem. Why is it settled and forgiven? Shouldn't they also have a re-payment plan? You can't owe 10's of 1000's of dollars unless you made and most likely will continue to make, 10's of 1000's of dollars. A working schlub like myself doesn't get a chance to settle for less that what we owe. The government gets its cut up front, before I get my pay. It's taken out before I get the chance to screw up. So why are others given the chance, and not only forgiven for the mistake, but seemingly rewarded? Just a bit more of the inequity of our system. The wealthy get an opportunity to take advantage of the system while the guys in the middle continue to get slapped around.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
If you can't drive it, park it
It seems as if every day, I find another reason not to go out on the highways of my beloved state of NJ. I don't expect everyone to have the driving abilities of professional NASCAR driver. But, when I am behind a car and the lane has a green arrow pointing the way the driver in front wants to go, why, oh why, can't he or she GO? Is it the first time they have ever seen one of these arrows? Did they get their license within the last 15 minutes? Did they just arrive from Lithuania? How freakin' hard is it to turn on a green arrow?
OK, now I'm on a roll. I drive the speed limit. I don't need an SUV driven by someone who can barely see over the freakin' steering wheel to be up my ass. What is up with that?
Mom and a 3 year-old need a friggin' assault vehicle to pick up the dry cleaning and a Happy Meal? What are they expecting to encounter on the highway-- the Iraqi equivalent of the 81st Airborne? The Terminator? Godzilla?
And I will bet dollars to donuts that Mom can't park the behemouth. I've been in parking lots and seen first hand Soccer Mom trying to turn a Suburban around and get it into a parking space. The USS Intrepid had fewer problems docking in its NYC port. And, on the off chance Soccer Mom is able to turn the beast around and head towards a parking space, does she understand that those white lines serve a purpose? They aren't to decorate the lot. The idea is to park between the lines. And not just any random combination of lines. Pick two and try to stay between them. I realize that this is asking a lot, but maybe even park evenly so that another car can fit into the space next to Soccer Mom without fear that when Soccer Mom returns, she will open the door of her assualt vehicle and scrape the crap out of the car next to her?
I'd also be really pleased if the jerks driving pickups with crap in the back like rocks and sand would at least make an attempt to cover the stuff so it doesn't blow all over the place while they drive mindlessly down the highway.
And I haven't even gotten into the jerks who drive along the shoulder or pass in nonexistant lanes. Just because you can squeeze through, that doesn't make it a 4 lane road. Get a friggin' clue.
I'm done. I feel better.
OK, now I'm on a roll. I drive the speed limit. I don't need an SUV driven by someone who can barely see over the freakin' steering wheel to be up my ass. What is up with that?
Mom and a 3 year-old need a friggin' assault vehicle to pick up the dry cleaning and a Happy Meal? What are they expecting to encounter on the highway-- the Iraqi equivalent of the 81st Airborne? The Terminator? Godzilla?
And I will bet dollars to donuts that Mom can't park the behemouth. I've been in parking lots and seen first hand Soccer Mom trying to turn a Suburban around and get it into a parking space. The USS Intrepid had fewer problems docking in its NYC port. And, on the off chance Soccer Mom is able to turn the beast around and head towards a parking space, does she understand that those white lines serve a purpose? They aren't to decorate the lot. The idea is to park between the lines. And not just any random combination of lines. Pick two and try to stay between them. I realize that this is asking a lot, but maybe even park evenly so that another car can fit into the space next to Soccer Mom without fear that when Soccer Mom returns, she will open the door of her assualt vehicle and scrape the crap out of the car next to her?
I'd also be really pleased if the jerks driving pickups with crap in the back like rocks and sand would at least make an attempt to cover the stuff so it doesn't blow all over the place while they drive mindlessly down the highway.
And I haven't even gotten into the jerks who drive along the shoulder or pass in nonexistant lanes. Just because you can squeeze through, that doesn't make it a 4 lane road. Get a friggin' clue.
I'm done. I feel better.
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